Opinion's On My Writing


#1

On here I would like to share some of my writing and get some feedback on it, here are a few of my recent ones-

1.) She loved dancing, she always had. Dancing to the shop, dancing to school, dancing to her dance classes she took on the daily. So today wasn’t much different, she was dancing in front of a crowd of many souls. Too bad it just happened to be on my grave.

2.) “You are my sunshine,” he whispered holding her close to feel her heartbeat, “my only sunshine-” his voice cracked and a single tear escaped from his now closed eyes. Visions of memories from past years filled his head, fogging his mind. The pain from his side where blood would ooze didn’t bother him, it was a pain much worse than the average person could ever face. “You make me happy, when skies are gray.” he started to rock her as they sat in the alleyway, the storm of tears escaped as he stared at the last bit of light that was left in her emerald green eyes. “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.” stopping he looked to the sky utterly heartbroken. His words now painful sobs that would forever be his last. He relaxed as he inhaled his last breathe and leaned back, never taking his eyes off the clouds swirling ahead, “Please don’t take my sunshine away…” and with that he laid there. Quiet and Still, with his one and only as the same in his ice cold arms.

3.)And at that moment he saw the life leave her beautiful eyes, even if she was not dead. Falling to her knees the dark black and purple cloud surrounded her, consuming what was left of the once bright and happy girl. He shielded his eyes not only from the powerful force of darkness that became her but from her herself. The millions of tears that formed in his eyes burned as they dared to escape. He didn’t know why and he didn’t know how but he had fell utterly in love with this girl and now she’s been ripped away leaving him with a scar that will never be healed. He felt raw as he fell to his knees giving up on whatever was left of his strength and sobbed, and at that moment she could see the life leave his once beautiful eyes, even if he was not dead…

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I have many more, but I’ll start off with sharing these. Please give your honest responses to them! Thanks so much in advance, and have a wonderfully fantastic day! :blush:


#2

It’s awesome!!! And so is your profile pic!!! :grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin::grin: