Parents Not Together *Story Time*

This is to people whose parents are divorced/not together :upside_down_face:

How did this impact you? Feel free to discuss your story/thoughts on this and only share if you are comfortable :black_heart:

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My mom and dad recently got divorced and honestly, I’m sort of ok. At first it was hard on me because even though I knew a lot of people did it, I never thought that my family would be that family. I always thought we would be that family who stuck together. And it was also difficult because I hardly ever see my dad anymore.
I also had never seen the divorce coming.

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I love both of my parents immensely, but I’m sort of a daddy’s girl.
I was six when they divorced, and it felt like my world crumbled.
Dad saw us ever now and then, but then he didn’t.
He finally started to come around again when I was in high school, but I refused to see him.
Later that year, my best friend, my grandma passed away.
I spiraled pretty fast over the next year and ended up in a short term mental facility.
They had family therapy sessions, and I fully intended on telling my mother everything that she had been doing wrong since they divorced.
The last thing I expected was to see me dad, needless to say I broke down.
After this, I moved in with my Dad while seeing my mom often.
Until I moved in with him, the divorce felt black and white, and it hurt to have such a simple answer of ‘We just didn’t work.’

They went through a lot. The death of my uncle, a miscarriage, being two totally opposite people… Eventually leading to my mother admitting she never loved him.
Not to mention, my Dad’s new ex wife had been manipulating him to stay away from us for six years. When he realized it, he left her.
Now that I am grown, and know the full story, I’m not angry at them.
As children we are sort of “selfish” in regards to things like this. I realized that there was no way they would have been happy together. At the end of the day, I love both of my parents and I want nothing more than for them to be happy.

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My parents separated when I was about 2 years old so I don’t really remember what it was like. I’m very used to having separated parents, since it’s all I know, I’m always a little shocked when I hear that people’s parents are still together since I just don’t know that life I guess. I thought it was mostly… annoying when I was little, moving from one parent to another every week. I was in some way, even tho I don’t know what that’s like, sad that my parents didn’t live together. But now I’m kinda fine with it. I rarely even think about it. Idk… it’s normal for me. :thinking:

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My dad was honestly the worst person alive. He always seemed so nice to me but as I got older I see him for who he really is. He left my mom and got married and he’s put her through alot. I honestly don’t care about him anymore. I look up to my mom for guidance but I feel that if he did stay with my mom things would’ve been way worse.

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Thank you for sharing guys!

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I don’t get, why get married when you don’t love each other? :roll_eyes:

Sometimes i dream about what it’s like to have parents who love each other and be raised by both…just one big happy family…i daydream a lot :joy:

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Well my dad got custody of me,whenever I came over to my mum’s they would argue, which always would upset me. But this was one thing I had to put up with since my sister had lived with my mum at the time. But as we got older my parents got along much better and my sister went to live with our grandfather but right now I’ve been caught in the middle of a lot of drama lately since i no longer live with him and none of us live together and my sister now lives on a different island… Every holiday is always the same now, DRAMA over who gets to see her. (That’s all that I can disclose about the situation)

It truly sucks constantly being forced to pick sides all the time

But sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a normal family, ya know… one house with both parents, living with your siblings :thinking: does anyone else ever think about that?

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My thoughts here

I do, I wish there weren’t fights, unhappiness. I wish we could eat dinner together like a normal family and tell each other jokes :laughing:
I do love my parents very much though…well because they’re my parents ^^

Rest of thoughts removed because I wasn’t going to keep them up long :blush:

And, thank you for sharing! :heart:

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I know how you feel, although they never married

I relate to this part most of all, the sad reality is a lot of us will never be able to experience this until we have a family of our own. At the same time I do understand my parents’ situation so I really cannot place much blame on them

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True, but I’m not planning on having a family, I don’t want to risk putting my future kids through any pain :upside_down_face:

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Thats totally fine and I totally understand how you feel, which is why I’m very cautious about relationships…dont want history to repeat itself :persevere:

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Oof, do I have a story. I remember this as the worst day of my life.

Long Story

My parents divorced in 2013, I was 15 at the time. I’d had friends whose parents were divorced so it wasn’t a new concept to me. But I’d never thought it would happen to my family. I remember waking up one morning, quite angry because I was woken up by what I thought was someone laughing too loudly. When I left my bedroom, I was confronted with the sight of my Dad on the floor crying with my sister hugging him tightly (She would’ve been 12 or 13) and my Mum in tears as well standing in the lounge.

I had no idea what was happening, and I was still angry because I wanted to sleep in, so I asked why everyone was crying. My Mum walked out and went downstairs and my Dad said that my Mum is leaving him. I remember in vivid detail how my blood turned to ice. I don’t remember what I said in-between then and when he explained why, but I was definitely in denial about the whole thing. I also don’t deal very well with people crying in front of me, and I had to somehow be the peacemaker in this situation. (I think I was forced to grow up a lot in that moment.) I remember my dad telling me, through tears, why they were getting a divorce (I’m not going to say the reason why because it’s my parents business and no one else’s). I had no idea what to do, so I walked downstairs to where my Mum was and asked her for the truth. She broke down in tears, and so did I.

When I went back upstairs, my dad was still on the floor and my sister was crying her eyes out. The rest of that day is blank for me. I just don’t want to think about it or remember it. I don’t know if it was the same day or the day after, but I was sitting on the couch crying my eyes out and my Mum’s friend came over to help with the situation. Everyone was a mess. I remember saying over and over that “I didn’t want to move” because at that moment I didn’t want to think about how my life had suddenly just changed so much. I honestly never saw it coming. For the next few weeks my Mum stayed at a work friend’s house while my dad, sister, and I, all tried to bring her back. I thought this was something we could get over, we could fix it eventually. Spoiler: it never got fixed. My mum recovered from it pretty quickly but my Dad was a wreck for months.

Eventually we all started to come to terms with it, I talked to my sister about it and she was clearly traumatised about the whole thing. She told me how she’d found out the reason why my parents were getting divorced. I still can’t fathom how a 12 year old must’ve felt about that situation. I started to realise that it actually was something inevitable. My parents had constantly fought, and we were never a really close family like I thought we were.

My dad met my step-mum and she is one of the loveliest people in the world. My mum is living with her boyfriend. I now have two step-brothers who are two of the funniest people I know. My sister and I would switch weeks at each parent’s house and they are still amicable to each other. There’s no petty fighting between the two.

Last year I made a decision to move in with my mum permanently until I can find a place of my own that’s cheap enough for a broke uni student, and my sister moved in with my dad while she finishes school. At first, I was worried about the decision and how it would affect the parent I didn’t live with, but I overthought it too much. it’s not as bad as I thought it was, and I still visit my dad every now and then.

I hated that my parents were getting divorced, but am I happy that it happened now? 100%.
I’m now so much closer to both my parents, I feel like I lost a part of me that day, but I don’t really want it back. Do I have issues from the situation? Yes, I do. But, both my parents seem so much more happier with their current partners now than they ever did with each other. It took time, but everyone healed. That’s all that matters. The situation could have been a whole lot worse and I’m extremely lucky that it isn’t.

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My mother divorced my dad when I was six so naturally I don’t even remember that much of her. When they split up, my mom said downright that she didn’t want to have me because I was small then and raising up kids was not what she wanted to do. But she was ready to take my big brother in but me and my bro wanted to like be with the same parent so in the end, we both ended up with my dad.

I think what happened was for good because I got so close to my dad and my brother. There was no woman in our house for a long time so I grew up with boys, and of course my choices and opinions formed according to that. My dad did a great job raising us but then he got married and the woman was just too ugh. But her and my dad’s son is just too cute and sweet so I think even that happened for good. Now they are separated but we are all happy. There is not much to be happy about so I just keep thinking whatever happened was for good because that’s the way you can live happily.

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I’m dealing with it , I mean , hey ! I’m still alive :sweat_smile:.

But there’s one thing that annoys me so much :

"You’ll get used to it "

Really? Will we really get used to our lives constantly changing ? I’m not referring this to everyone who’s parents were divorced but it isn’t a choice . it’s not where if you make a mistake it’s fine , you can try again later . No. A parental divorce affects the whole family even if they are young and it affects their future too .

So next time , if you hear someone say their parents just got divorced , don’t tell them you’ll get used to it but help them prepare for the changes they’re facing .

Xx

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Bump :heart:

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Bump :broken_heart:

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