Please check my story out! :D


#1

Hello, I just published my story and it really took me a long time in trying to make my story good, fixing mistakes, and finding what I need to add.
please I ask if you read 4 episodes out of my story and help me out with my grammar and tell me what I did wrong in my story so I would go in fix it! or you can just read my story and tell me how you like it. :slightly_smiling_face:
Story title: Best friends forever
Genre: Drama, romance, and a little Comedy
Summary: A story where 3 long lasting Best friends meet together again and a new 4th Best friend comes along, Together the Best Friends face their teen life in drama, and more!
customize
I also intentionally made 4 of my episodes a little short just to show the point of views of the 3 best friends.
here’s the link or you can just go to the episode app and find my story there!


#2

I can check it out for ya!


#3

Thank you soo much! :sweat_smile:


#4

Do you have a story? I can check it out too!


#5

Yeah! It’s called Infected Souls by Eli B. It’s an action (sort of), and the humor is a little weird.

Description: It’s the apocalypse. Alex wants the best for his loved ones, but what about himself? As insanity lurks in his mind, so does it lurk among the very people putting Alex in danger.

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6453391687155712

Hope it isn’t too weird! :smile:


#6

Don’t worry I like weird :joy:
I’ll read it!
Also, thank you so much for checking my story out!


#7

No problem!


#8

I’ll read your story! Do you want to do r4r? x
Title: My Strength
Genre: Mystery
Description: Life has never been simple for Eden. There is only one person in the world who can keep her strong. What happens when someone new enters her life and shakes it up?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6657777479319552
Author Name: Katiekate
Instagram: @katiekate.episode


#9

I read it, and so far I’m enjoying it! I loved how you gave away the main characters’ personalities before customising them, and that you can customize the family to look similar. I found your story to be unique in that the characters were realistic, and yet, you made the story your own and used their personalities well in the first few episodes.

So there are some issues grammar-wise. Sometimes you put words in the wrong order and use the wrong verb tense.
All you need to do is focus on whether or not the sentence is in past, present, or future tense, and be consistent throughout the sentence(s).
One example would be when Lila said, “Maybe Michael actually have a point.”
Instead, you should change it to “Maybe Micheal actually has a point” for present tense or “Maybe Michael did have a point” for past tense.
Another thing would be long sentences with unnecessary words. When you proof-read, I recommend seeing if there are ways to make a sentence more concise and leave out any words that don’t help get the point across.
Commas are also an issue. Sometimes they’re used when they aren’t needed and not used when they are needed. You can easily solve this problem by seeing if a sentece can flow with or without a comma. They are needed if you do combine two independant clauses with a conjunction.
One last error I would correct would be how some sentences are carried on in the following speech bubble. Just use “…” at the end of the phrase so the readers know there is more. This just helps to clear up any confusion.
I did write a lot about grammar, but they really were just minor problems in your story. I really like where you’re going with it, and I plan to continue reading. Keep up the great work! :slight_smile:


#10

Oh My gosh thank you!!
I’m really am having problems with grammar and verbs. :sweat_smile:
Thank you soo soo much!
Everything you said about my problem perfectly is my problem in writing!
I finished reading your story too and I would like to give you a review and share screenshots.
Do want me to share it here or message you? (pm) :slightly_smiling_face:


#11

You can go ahead and share it here!


#12

Okie dokie :grinning:


#13




![Screenshot_20180711-180539|281x500]
(upload://v8iZ6BnldcmEXKqyGkD5OQ3IDN1.png)







#14

@Elli_B

I read your story and it was good, the directing, spot direct, zone pans, character walks , exits, and entering, etc. was Good! I’m honestly not good at grammar so I haven’t seen any ones that need fixing. I was so stuck in your story and I was worried what’s gonna happen and stuff! :grinning: Also, the choices in the episodes was great! It really made me think on what I should choose.:sweat_smile:
The only problem I had with your story is that I think it should show a background of a picture or warning if there’s strong words in it and plus, each episode I read didn’t say what episode it was. It just started the episodes just like that. So I was confused if that is on how the story should be?
Also,
In picture 5 and 6 where the characters was talking to the police officer,
the police officer speech bubble was low so I kinda got confused at first if it was either Alex, Kennedy, Feng or Alice talking but seeing the Police name on the speech bubble took the confusion out. (So maybe put the speech bubble close to the officer.)

Overall great story,
I love on how the Baker family didn’t have no worries of the apocalypse it was funny and bothersome at the same time.:joy: Plus, I’m a little worried if Alice is ok? She’s super freaked out and mad.:fearful::joy: I like that your story has a little humor in it!
Both you and your sister are doing an awesome job!
Wonderful story! I hope you do well on it!
From Erica Jane.
P.S. Your story wasn’t weird at all.:slightly_smiling_face:


#15

Sure I would do that! :smile:


#16

Thank you so much! We’re so relieved to hear that! We hope your story does well too!


#17

Thank you! :sob:


#18