Plot Help Please!

I’m working on a story called The Vampire Bride and I am not even half way done with the first chapter. I have ideas, but I don’t know how to fit them all together. Please read the beginning and help me!

Description: You: A basic bartender. Him: A ruthless Vampire. What happens when you are selected to be his bride for the rest of eternity?

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what is happening in the story so far?

Once sec, I’m doing a few edits and then I’ll repost it!

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If you wanna send your ideas to me over a PM, I’d be happy to help!

I just put the story back on the thread

BUMP! Pls help

okay, let me get to reading

okay thanks

Okay, so Cassius should direct the MC to the locked room. Then Cassium gives the MC background information about vampires and why he picked the MC to be his bride. Does this make sense?

I don’t know if you want it like this but it looks like the MC is inside of the counter. Not behind

He didn’t pick the MC to me his bride. They are selected by fate. I was gonna have Jack explain it because Cassius isn’t supposed to like her at first.

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I did notice that, the overlay isn’t very good so I’m gonna try to make a new one.

yes. have Jake (or whoever you want) explain it. But make it interactive (less talking, more visuals)

Okay, like what?

what do you mean? Don’t have Jake explain it through complete dialogue (like Jake and the MC is in one place talking throughout.) Shows different kinds of scenes while he’s explaining it.

Oh, okay.

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Do you have any other suggestions?

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i want to see it when you’re done (if you don’t mind) :grin:.
Maybe the vampires were cursed and that’s why they’re viampires

That would make sense! I’ll let you know when I;m done with the explaining scene

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