Pls read my story! feedback?

i just published my story “Made For You”
if you could give it a read and let me know what you think that’d be great! i need feedback
Made For You Link

Story Description: Someone is made for you, but what happens when a friend of your dad’s has to move in with Charlotte? Can they survive living under one roof, or will the hinges fly off the doors?

Genre: Drama

I have only published one episode but i still hope someone could give me feedback!
i can even do rfr!

instagram: @memesbyerin @storiesbyerin

thank you! <3

Hey! Just read through the first episode of your story and thought I would leave some feedback.

Dialogue

I thought the dialogue was well written. As a reader I wasn’t told what was happening or who someone was and had to piece together character’s personalities/ relationships with one another which what I like in stories.

For example, I understood the sibling dynamics between the twins immediately just from the dialogue and I love it.

Directing

I didn’t notice any errors at all and you didn’t add an uncomfortable amount of editing which is awesome.

You had nicely placed zooms, well done spot directing, and smooth pans.

If you couldn’t tell, no complaints with the directing.

Plot

It seems interesting romance dramas aren’t my thing sorry and I can roughly tell where the story is going to go which to me is a good thing. You did a good job introducing the important characters like Charlotte’s best friend, boyfriend, and the Rodriguez family all in the first ep.

Misc.

I noticed that you put the title card and following request panel in the middle of the story which I’m going to assume is because you wanted an introduction first before the main story points showed up. Kind of like how TV shows format their eps

This is an interesting choice and I’m not against it. However, it makes the opening very sudden and jarring. What could is a slow zoom onto the outside of the school to establish the setting. Maybe put some of the outfit brainstorming thought bubbles up during the zoom to show that out MC is inside this school. After all that, then cut to the scene in the room where she has a conversation with her friend.

I hope I made sense. Overall a great first episodes and I hope your later eps will be just as good or even better than this one. I don’t know if I will continue reading more when you finish the later episodes since I’m not into romance dramas but I hope you keep writing! :blob_hearts:

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thank you so much for this! it means a lot and thank you for the feedback!! <3

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