Hey guys, so I’ve recently released my first story, Villainous Heroes, and I’d love to hear what you think of it!
I’m also looking for new stories to read all the time so if you’ve just published your first story or you just really want to show off what you’ve done, add it to this thread! If you’re looking for feedback, hmu. I’ll be happy to be completely dead honest with you.
Description: Superheroes are real. Your best friend is missing. Your ex is sleeping with your friend. And to top it all off? You have a week to pay $1000 or you’re evicted.
Hey Your story seems interesting, I’ll read it! I can give you some feedback later, if you want?
Here’s mine:
Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Author: Dreamer
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Description: Scarlet had a rough past and it looks like it’s not getting better after she was bought by some mysterious guy. Will she ever turn her life from a nightmare to a dream?
Episodes: 10 (more coming soon, I’m trying to update once a week)
Updates to this story: Dreams and Nightmares - my first story
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452320906543104
Wow your cover looks so cool. I’ll check it out.
My story is called :Ferewick boarding school
Genre:mystery.
Episodes :14
Description : a fresh start at a new boarding school isn’t quite what it was made out to be when you discover an ex pupils dead body on campus. Can you solve the mystery before it is too late.
Title: I love the title, it shows that something is happening in the subconscious of the MC maybe?
Cover: I love the cover! I like how the background characters are just that tiny bit darker than the main characters at the front.
Description: Definitely has some aspect of mystery to it, it’s not as unique as I think it could be, but I know what the story is going to be about and it summarises it nicely.
Intro: You began the story with narration - which most authors like to use. I personally would have liked to jump straight into the story and figure out how the MC’s life is through meeting her foster father and the interactions between them. The dialogue isn’t too long though, and that makes it easier to read.
Characters:
The main character: It’s clear that the MC suffers from emotional and physical abuse, she exhibits some traits of an abuse victim. MC is very terrified for most of the first chapter.
Diversity: There is little diversity in this story so far, but only a few characters have been introduced in the first chapter.
Depth: It’s the first episode so I’m not expecting full backstories. There is a bit of repetition with the MC and the narration talking about her life in foster care though.
Relationships: No romantic relationships established yet.
Narration:
Grammar: “Get out of that clothes”, should be “Get out of those clothes”. “After you took a look at her” should be “After you take a look at her” in this context. Your grammar and punctuation is almost perfect except for a couple of minor things.
Flow: The story did flow during the scenes, however I rarely saw anyone leaving the scene before they enter the next.
Realism of the conversations: I haven’t been in these situations so I wouldn’t know what they say. However, you captured the MC’s dialogue perfectly as you can tell she doesn’t know what’s happening.
Directing:
Zooms: I didn’t see any zooms used in the first chapter.
Spotting: Basic spot directing is used, but that’s okay! It’s your first story! Maybe in the future try using the [@CHARACTER stands upscreen right] instead to move them around a bit more.
Animations: Sometimes after dialogue appears, one of the character’s mouths move when they aren’t supposed to be speaking. This can easily be fixed by having them perform and idle animation before the next character speaks, like this: [&CHARACTER is idle].
Choices: There was one choice in the first chapter and I don’t feel like it affected the story much, which is fine in my opinion because not every choice has to matter. However, I would include more basic choices in episodes if they don’t change the storyline.
Plot:
Originality: I have read stories like this before, perhaps you could add in a twist later in the story? It’s the first episode so I’m not going to judge you too hard on it.
Suspense: There isn’t much suspense between scenes, however I do want to see how the MC starts to heal after she leaves her abusive home life.
X factor:
Music: N/A
Art: N/A
Effects: N/A
Overlays: N/A
Humor: This story is a very mature story, it’s definitely a change from usual stories on episode.
Overall thoughts:
I liked the story, for your first story I’m pretty impressed. I’d probably just work on the directing a bit more.
Title: It is Not What You Think Chapters: 4 Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5799899898970112 Author: Qetesha Instagram: qetesha.episode Description: You struggle to discover your identity because a catastrophic event caused you to lose yourself. You must understand your relationship with the mystery artist if you ever stand a chance of solving the riddle you call your life. There are a few romances. Your major love interests are polar twins (Rebel vs The Golden Boy). I included original overlays and backgrounds drawn by me! Cover:
Your story sounds pretty good! For sure I will take a time to read it! When I will finish reading I can tell you what I think, if you don’t mind.
Btw, it is mine:
Title: Scars
Author: inxmyxeyes
Genre: Action
Style: Ink
Description: The past created who she is right. The life never goes easy on her. That’s why she became so ruthless to anyone she’s ever met.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6086824284782592
Name: dangerous love
Genre: mystery
Discription: lexi has been looking for her childhood friend for almost 10 years but what if he is a heartless gangleader and she is a subborn women can they still be happy and find love?
You don’t have to, but I’d appreciate it if you checked out my first story
Name: One, Two, Three Author: Sanityyy Genre: Action/ Comedy Description: Lianna Creed, the leader’s daughter of an executionist organization, The DV. She’s been carrying a burden her whole life, only to uncover that there was more to the story. Additional Note: I’ve noticed that I published my story with a few spelling and grammar mistakes and I haven’t re-updated story yet so keep that it mind
hey this is my first story.
Name = Love Again
Author = smile24
Genre = Darma
Episode = 7 chapters is out , soon i updated more.
Description =You have everything in life family, friends, success but divorced and still feel empty . Will some one come to save you from your emptiness?
I really appreciate if you give chance to my story soo much awaits in story… Thank you
Title: Ace of Hearts
Genre: Mystery
Author: SarcasticGenie
Description: Skylar was a notorious teen journalist at her high school, but, like everyone else in Morcastle, she had her own secrets to the point where even her murder isn’t all what it seems and it’s up to her three friends to find out the truth… or die trying.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6338823238451200
Genre : Romance/Drama
Style : Ink
Number of episodes : 9 (more episodes coming soon)
Instagram : maggy.episode
Description : A bad boy Prince with a lot of ego and a womanizer, gets lost in the middle of the Jungle and meets a fierce African Princess called Maya. Will he handle the change of environment ?
You’re a cop.What happens when a mistake causes you to go to prison,but on the wrong side of the bars!Will your new unexpected friends bust you out?Which one will you fall for? CC
Description:
You, your little sister and your mom moved to North Cali because your sister has Cystic Fibrosis. But you never expected to meet an outcast and… Steal his Heart. CC INCLUDED
The Story is about a rich and snob girl from L.A., her name is Alexa (You can customize it) the most horrible person you’ll ever meet, although she is really gorgeous outside. (Totally Customizable too)
Soon Alexa’s life will be in a complete chaos… The life is going to teach her a HUGE SWAP lesson. Will she take this chance to change? Or will she get even worst? You choose…
This is a two endings story!
Spoiler: You have to choose between 2 handsome customizable Guys! If you choose one of them you’ll keep the bad road of your life, but if you choose the other you’ll meet the true love of your life.
Feel free to check it out!
I appreciate if you send me feedback.
PD: Follow me on Episode: Musae For sneak peaks find me on Instagram: @musae.episode
Your story seems interesting, I’ll read it! I can give you some feedback later, if you want?
