Your story description is good, I noticed one spelling error in the first sentence. Your covers are also well made. The title works well with your story too.
With the writing and background used with the warnings it was a bit difficult to read, maybe use a darker colour for the writing?
When Mark brings Aria’s coffee with the overlay CoffeeCup in his hand looks as though he is running and spilling the coffee out of the cup (maybe remove the overlay and then hand it to her? This is not a major problem, I just pick up on those kind of things).
This isn’t an issue more of a warning?- I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but, to drink the coffee there is an animation for that but again not a major issue, also when Aria is going mad at Mark for crying I recommend removing the overlay from her hand otherwise it looks as though she is just throwing the drink around.
When Aria goes to work on the article, to spice it up a little use, @transition iris out black in T and then go to INT. NIGHT - BLACK and have the narrator say 3 hours later then @transition iris in black in T. Although your zooms and pans are well directed in this scene.
In the next scene where she takes the phone call, use the coding; @ARIA enters from left to screen center AND ARIA is walk_talk_phone THEN ARIA is talk_phone_surprised_loop to avoid any glitches or pauses in animations. Also when Lyra is talking on the phone Aria is using the talk animation, so make sure she is using the listen phone animation whilst Lyra is talking on the phone.
The choices in your story are good and I like how they effect the story.
In the boutique scene and when the guy says her outfits are on the clothing rack on the other side of the room and the camera pans to the zone and Aria is left behind by a few seconds, I would recommend to use the command: &follow ARIA to XY in Z
Also good outfit choices
By the way I like the photo shoot scene too, the flashes were well placed.
In the scene where Lyra and Aria go clubbing, the background characters could be placed a bit apart and more spread out, or even add more background characters (I know background characters are annoying ) but it would make the clubbing look more real I guess you could say. Towards the end of that scene there was a little glitch with the transition fade out but I’m sure that can be fixed as well.
Overall I think you done a decent job and I loved the plot twist!! And you respond well to your readers in fanmail.
Your overall score is 6.5/10