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Your welcome I’m glad I could help :blush:

Hale Huna
Anonymous Author
Fantasy/Romance
Cover:
cover

Do you have instagram so maybe you could DM me on there instead of here?

Hi are you still doing reviews? If so I would be hugely grateful for a review.

Title: A Brush with Love
Author Name: S Green
Description: Sophie, a make-up artist from the UK, moves to LA after landing a new job on hit TV show ‘Starstruck!’. A change of plan on her first day catapults her into the life of Ben Holden, one of the shows actors.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5394078488723456

thank you in advance :heart_eyes:

Hi there!

Your story description is great and so are your covers!

Episode 1:
At the very start with your episode background (with the warnings and things like that) is really really good! I love that you did that and it’s unique.

Your directing (cuts, zooms,pans), music, backgrounds, overlays, and animations are all amazing! Everything works well together and fits with everything.

I noticed a few spelling errors- words that didn’t match with the sentence for example - people where singing, I used the wrong where and should have used - people were singing.

At the end of episode 1 there was a glitch with one of the backgrounds (have showing and the other half black. I’m sure it could be fixed.

Overall your story is really good with hardly no mistakes! You respond to your fanmail clearly.

Your overall rate is 8/10

1 Like

Hi there!

Your story description is short and basic- but in a good way! Your covers are really good and are well designed.

Episode 1:
Your intro I got a little confused with. I was confused with the part where the girl asks the reader if you would like to re-read or skip episode 1 due to mistakes? In my opinion I feel that that whole scene isn’t necessary.

In the scene with Kole and Din (Din thinks someone was breaking in) I found a few spelling mistakes. To prevent spelling mistakes make sure you proof read and/or use spellcheck. I also noticed in that scene and other scenes that when some characters have dialogue and are meant to talk, their animation is in idle. I personally haven’t written a story in Limelight but I’ve heard it’s not easy. So to prevent your character just standing there make sure you use a talk animation when they have dialogue.

In the scene where Din and Kole are in the forest (standing in front of a bus) and when Din enters with a walk animation, I would recommend you use a torch prop to make it look as though he’s walking with a torch and is somewhat scared looking.

I like how you’ve added choices that have effect on the story and some that don’t.

Your music is good but sometimes the music doesn’t fit with some scenes and the music/sounds are played directly after each other which in my opinion doesn’t sound the best. To prevent this try and not use as much music or make the music/sounds fade in and out using the volume command. (you can find tutorials on the episode forums).

Also in the scene where Gwen runs behind Alister, after she runs behind him use the THEN command so she doesn’t go to idle and have no animation. For example:
@CHAR runs to XY and CHAR faces right AND CHAR is animation THEN CHAR faces left AND CHAR is animation

Overall your storyline is good but could do with some improvements. Your directing (zooms, cuts and pans) are all good.

You respond to your fanmail clearly.

Your overall rate is 6.5/10

1 Like

Thank you!

1 Like

Hi there!

Your story description is good and sounds unique. For your covers, there are plenty of people/threads on here that would be willing to help create covers for your story.

Episode 1:
Your intro is good and gives me a lot of insight on the characters, but in the scene where you introduce the PE teacher (Berkeley) and does the dance half off the screen and then just appears back to the center of the screen (without walking back to his spot) and exits left, I’d suggest you to either make him walk back to his spot or change his spot so he doesn’t dance off screen.

After the scene where you introduce where they live (“Sunny California”) I’d suggest doing a transition fade out and then transition fade in to the next scene- same goes to other scenes as well!

In the scene with the school hallway and there’s dialogue then Connor and Dave just pop onto the screen, to prevent that I’d place them on the screen before the dialogue or if you use a transition fade in use:

&CHAR1 stands screen left AND CHAR1 faces right
&CHAR2 stands screen right AND CHAR2 faces left
@transition fade in black 3

for example^. - I’ve also noticed this in other scenes too.

In the classroom scene where Cassidy and Tyler are talking I’d suggest that you place Cassidy in front of the desk overlay (changing her layer- you can find topics on this on these forums)
In the same scene I also suggest you add some background characters after/ at the same time when David and Connor enter.

In the scene with the staff meeting Nicole and Gigi where standing on the desk, I’d recommend positioning them so they aren’t standing on the desk. I would also recommend more background characters as well.

In the scene where the staff are introducing themselves to Maverick make sure you layer Superintendent Nelson at -2 or something like that to make the characters introducing themselves to Maverick stand in front of him.

In the scene at the coffee shop make sure with the coffee cup prop you watch what animation you use because it may look like the coffee is going everywhere or remove the prop from them.

In the shopping centre scene where Cassidy is walking down the isle, try and make her walk to the right side of the stand or switch the spot sides and make her walk to the left of the stand.

In the scene where everyone is in the kitchen and dancing on the tables and that, make sure that the guy wearing the beret is layered at -2 or something, to avoid him standing over the guy dancing on the ground. Also when they exit make sure you make it as though the people standing on the table get down by using the animation stand_up or a jump animation and when they exit pause for a beat or 2.

In the scene where Cassidy is in her bedroom, I would recommend making her walk (walk_rear) to her bed using spot placement and then make her lay on her bed.

In the beach scene with Maverick and Cassidy I’d recommend using a white transition fade in (@transition fade in white 3) to indicate it’s a dream. Also when Cassidy is laying down use the stand_up animation first then make her talk.

Again, when Cassidy wakes up from her dream, make sure you use the animation stand_up when she gets out of bed (use spot placement near her bed)

Overall your storyline is pretty good and could also be improved. I’d recommend using more transition fade in/outs too. I noticed a few spelling mistakes and words that didn’t fit in a sentence or words that should have been used in a sentence. I also noticed a few animation problems, but everything could easily be fixed.

Your overall rate is 5/10

Your welcome!

Hi there!

Your story description is really good and so are your covers.

Episode 1:
In the party scene, your spot placement is good along with you pans. Although when Rose enters make sure you layer her at 2 so she’s not standing behind everyone (you can find tutorials/ topics on here about layering). Before Bella says “I love your parties too” she does a talk animation and then when she has dialogue she doesn’t do the talk animation, so I’d recommend using the talk animation whilst using dialogue and use the non talking animation before Bella talks. When Rose walks to the dance floor after Bella, I got sort of confused with that scene, maybe make Rose go there and just talk to Bella for a bit and then say “I’ve gotta go, I’ll be back” or something like that. Before Jack walks up to Rose, the girl standing with Jack, make sure you layer her -1 (so she doesn’t walk in front of Jack) and pause for a beat (after Jack walks to Rose) then make the girl walk to her next spot.

In the scene where you introduce the mum and dad- make sure you use @CHAR changes into OUTFIT before the transition fade in. Also I’d recommend that you make the parents do some sort of action such as talking to each other, so they aren’t just standing there in idle.

In some scenes after your transition fade in’s the characters just pop up onto the screen. To avoid this make sure you use:

INT. BLACK - NIGHT
&CHAR1 stands screen left
@transition fade in black 4

(^example) To avoid characters from popping up randomly.

In the cafe scene with Rose, Old friend, Dennis and Jack- Jack is standing on top of Dennis make sure you layer him -3 to avoid that (there are topics on these forums that can help you with layering). Also in that scene after Jack exits after Rose and Dennis make sure you position Jack at a spot and layer behind Old friend because when he exited he looked as though he walked out from under the table.

In the car scene when Rose has the think dialogue "That is the biggest Casino in town!’ and “This is weird!” she is using a talk animation I’d recommend using a think animation?

In the Casino scene when Rose and Dennis enter I’d recommend that you make them enter from the same side as they came together and Rose wasn’t using a walk animation when she entered, so it just looked as though she floated along the screen- if you want her to do an animation directly after she enters (whilst using a walk animation) I’d recommend you use:

@CHAR enters from left to screen left AND CHAR faces right THEN CHAR is animation

(^example) that coding to avoid any glitches.

In the scene where Rose has to enter a room and after the camera pans to Rose there was a glitch- I’m not sure why maybe try asking someone on the forums for help or create your own thread.

In the scene where Rose sees her grandpa and after she falls over make sure you use a stand_up animation when she gets up then use the THEN command to do a different animation directly after- to make the animations look smoother.

At the end after Rose and her grandpa hug there was a glitch with your transition fade out- I’m not sure why, but maybe try and ask someone on the forums for their help or create your own thread.

Overall your story has a good story line but the directing, animations, transition fade in’s/out’s could be improved.

Your overall rate 4.5/10

1 Like

Hi there!

Your story description is really good and interesting! And your covers are really good too.

Episode 1:
I love how you started the episode and I liked the suspense and mystery. In the scene after that I love how you done the story intro. Although the font and colour could be hard to read for some people- But I like that idea!

In the bar scene make sure you use zoom rest or zoom out to avoid us from just looking at their legs. Also in other scenes I’d recommend for you to zoom out to show the whole character(s)

Overall your story is really good and I like where you left off! A few zooming problems but they could easily be fixed.

Your overall score is 8/10

1 Like

Thanks! I made those covers on my own.

The part with the bar scene. That was on purpose.

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They’re really good! And I wasn’t sure.

1 Like

Story name: Crossed Paths
Amount of episodes: 3
Description: Mindy’s life is filled with fun and joy but is haunted by heartbreak. What happens when Derek comes crashing into her life trying to change the way she sees things?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5294643993772032

The above is the welcome splash :slight_smile:

Thank you :smiley:

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Your welcome :grin:

1 Like

Hey!
I would love you to take a look at my story. It is my very first experience with Episode writing so any feedback is great!

Title: Teacher or Queen? (Drama)
Author: Mystique

Extra comment: I have only published the first episode to get first impression feedback. There is no description or cover - I will add everything later when I know if the story is worthy continuing or if I need to make any major changes. I believe that the first chapter is the most important one so I want to make it perfect.

Thank you!

Tittle: Search for love.
Author Name: Sigma.fr
Intagram: Sigma.fr.writes
Story Description :Your life turns upside down when you try to escape from a toxic situation! Can you find the love you are looking for trying to escape?
Genre: Drama
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5548786201264128

Not sure if I already asked, but: