Promotion for my new story adventurous

Hello ! I am Ari , and i have posted my story “Adventurous”
THE DESCRIPTION : you’ll have to take charge of your brothers destiny , would you be able to do that ?
why someone is after you ?
(FULL CC)
Dm me for r4r in Instagram (@ariblueepisode) !

3 Likes

Moved to Promote Your Story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

hey! would you like to do a r4r?

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy (Thriller)
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Summary: It’s a race against time as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to…

Cover

image

Chapters: 5 (More to come)

Full CC/Choices Matter/Point System/Advanced Directing!:blush:

1 Like

Hey! Would you like to do a read for read? This is my story!

Title: Adventurous: Our Beautiful Chaos
Story link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5639497557016576
Author: Maria
Episodes: 1, 2 and 3 with more coming after the contest
Genre: Adventure, with some romance and comedy
Style: Ink
Features: CC yourself, mini games, choices that matter (!), tappable overlays…
App description: When you go on the adventure of a lifetime, you did not expect a handsome man to tag along. Facing all kind of challanges, what is going to happen? You decide.
More description lol: You’re a talented girl with a great job, but are stuck in the boring everyday routine. When you suddenly get an offer to go on an adventure, you just can’t say no. And maybe the handsome man tagging along also isn’t that bad? However, if you want to stay on board of this adventure, you have to make the right choices. Will you succeed? Find out!

Story Cover:
Our_Beautiful_Chaos_posterImage_S36OhMcl8s

Sneak peeks have been posted on my instagram, @episodesbymaria ! :heartpulse:
I’d feel honored if you’d decide to read my story. I have put my heart and soul into it, haha.

Love, Maria

do you have instagram you can dm me in there

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i dont have an insta but i can pm you on here! :grin:

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Hey, will check it out your story. And I am up for R4R
Here is my story

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Hello! This is the details for my adventurous contest entry and my personal details so that if it interests you, you can DM me what you think :wink:
AUTHOR: @emilyj.ep
GENRE: Adventure
STORY NAME: Adventurous: Stranded with Strangers
STYLE: Limelight
DESCRIPTION: Rose lived a privileged life until she falls off a boat and finds herself trapped on a dessert island. But that isn’t the end of it. Soon after arriving, she begins stumbling across other strangers who are also trapped along side her with many stories of their own. Will she be able to make friends with them and most importantly, will she be able to survive? Adventure awaits Rose with in the mystery of the island.
THE LINK IS IN MY INSTA BIO
EXTRA INFO: CC , choices matter, love interests, LGBT, advances directing and more.
Thank you💚

1 Like

oh okay ! notic eme here when you star reading mine and i’ll start yours

2 Likes

okay! what’s your story link?

1 Like

here it is


i hope you enjoy !

1 Like

Adventurous

  • There are a lot of grammatical and directional errors that can easily be fixed. However, as you published this story for the contest, you aren’t allowed to alter anything major yet. The errors include:

  • Grammar - Punctuation - Capitalisation - Spacing - EXCESSIVE use of exclamation marks and question marks

  • Animations - Talking without dialogue - Idle during dialogue

  • There is a lack of music. I understand not everyone listens to the music and sound; however, for those who do, music connects the reader to the scene. Without it, there is a lack of emotion.

  • For the majority of your speech bubbles, you’ve placed a space between the last word and the punctuation. From scene 4, I did not bother correcting this.

Episode 1

Title & Description

Title: Adventurous.
You haven’t actually given it a name?

You’ll have to take charge of your brothers destiny , would you be able to do that ? ,why is someone coming after you find out right now
(FULL CC)

You’ll have to take charge of your brothers destiny, will you be able to do that? Why is someone coming after you? Find out right now.

Scene 1: CC

To be continued…

Why does it start with “to be continued”?

When customising the crush, he slides in rather than walking.

She’s the mean girl

She’s the mean girl.

She walks in and then slides in afterwards.*

What’s her look !?

What’s her look?!

Now on with the story !!

Now on with the story!!

Scene 2: JEN

JEN
I hate the first day of school !

I hate the first day of school!

What should i wear??

What should I wear??

JAKE
Hey Sis !!

Hey, sis!!

JEN
Hi bro !

Hi, bro!

JAKE
Do you need a ride !??

Do you need a ride??!

JEN
If you want to!

Scene 3: Car

The car overlay shifts on screen without either of them in the car.

Scene 4: School Hallway

JEN
Hi !!!

Hi!!!

She doesn’t do a talking animation. She is still in her previous animation from the previous scene.

ALBA
Hello [NAME]

Hello, [NAME].
Punctuation.

You begin to zoom in. Mid-zoom, you zoom out beginning the CC. ALBA slides on screen.

Sorry if in the place of your name is (Jen) or (Name)
The codes !

That’s something you’ll need to fix, if it occurs.
The codes!

ALBA
Look behind you !
JEN
Why !???
ALBA
Look !
JEN
They’re back together !
ALBA
It looks like they are !
JEN
I have to get in class!

I have to get to class.

You zoom in, immediately zoom out and then zoom back in again.

ALBA
Wait…We don’t have class until 9
Wait… We don’t have class until 9.

Scene 5/6: ALBA and JEN

ALBA
Are you Okay !

Are you okay!

JEN
Of course I’m okay !

Jen doesn’t do a talking animation.

ALBA
You didn’t look like you’re okay

You don’t look like you’re okay.
You didn’t look like you were okay.

Tense and punctuation.

JEN
Well I am !

ALBA starts talking without dialogue.

JEN
I want a cupcake or a donut !!

JEN talks without an animation.

ALBA
Do you want A cookie or a donut ?!

Do you want a cookie or a donut?!

JEN/I asked for a cupcake or a donut. If you’re trying to show there’s not cupcakes, you need to portray this.

choice
“COOKIE” {
} “DONUT” {
}

Keep your choices consistent through capitalisation and punctuation.

ALBA
Are you sure !

You’ve already given JEN/me the cookie…

JEN (mindblown)

Remove the cookie prop.

ALBA
Nah !!!
Look at the time
Oh yes we are late
Run

Nah !!!
Look at the time.
Oh, yes, we are late.
Run.

Scene 7: School

TEACHER
[NAME] and Alba you’re late !!!

[NAME] and Alba, you’re late!!!

JEN
Sorry teacher !!!

Sorry, teacher!!!

TEACHER
Go back at your seats

Go back to your seats.

Scene 8: Seats

TEACHER
Okay class !
Get your work done !!

The animations are extremely sequenced and unnatural.

JEN
Look how hot he is

Look how hot he is.

When swapping to the LI, the girls disappear.

Home

LIA
Hey [NAME] you’re home !!!

Hey, [NAME], you’re home!!!

CALEB
Hi sweetheart !

Hi, sweetheart!

JEN
Hi Mom , Dad !!

Hi, Mom, Dad!!

JAKE
[NAME] i have to talk with you !

[NAME], I have to talk to you!

JAKE walks on and stands behind LIA (mum). You can’t see him.

JAKE and JEN

JAKE appears in the scene.

JEN
Jake you wanted to talk with me !?

Jake, you wanted to talk to me?!

JAKE
Yes !
Are you up for camping
You can get your friend
And I’ll get mine !

Yes!
Are you up for camping?
You can bring your friend.
And I’ll bring mine!

JEN
Yes Yes Yes !
I should call Alba and tell her

Yes! Yes! Yes!
I should call Alba and tell her.
Someone (likely Alba) appears slightly on screen, to the left.

Phone Call

JEN walks to a different zone. The pan is delay. Jen disappears, then appears on the bed.

After the dream

Jen appears on the bed.

JEN
What a beautiful dream !
(I hoped it was true)
Speechbubble is out of place.
(I think who is Jake going to bring up

When choosing the outfit, you can’t see it behind the choice.

JAKE
Hey [NAME] are you ready !??

Hey, [NAME], are you ready!??

JEN
Of course I’m ready !
(I should ask him who’s hes bringing)
Hey Jake who are you bringing !???

Of course I’m ready!
(I should ask him who he’s bringing.)
Hey, Jake, who are you bringing???!

JAKE
I don’t know if you know him
He’s in your school !

I don’t know if you know him.
He’s in your school!

JEN
Do he have a name ???

Doeshe have a name!!!

JAKE
Endrit !
What do you know him ???

JEN
Nah , never heard of him !!

Nah, never heard of him!!

Outside the house

JEN
I have to go i see that Alba is here
And Jakes friend too !

I have to go, I see that Alba is here.
And Jake’s friend too!

LIA
Okay sweetheart
Oh [NAME] I’m going to miss you !

Okay sweetheart.
Oh, [NAME], I’m going to miss you!

Dialogue without animation

JEN
I’m going to miss you too mom !

I’m going to miss you too, mom!

ENDRIT
You should be Jake’s sister !

This sounds unnatural.

So, you are Jake’s sister?

JEN
[NAME] Nice to meet you !

[NAME], nice to meet you!

ENDRIT
Endrit ! Nice to meet you !?

Endrit! Nice to meet you?!

JEN
Yes i know your name !
(what the **** , what are you saying)
I mean we go to the same school !

Yes, I know your name!
(what the ****, what are you saying?)
Dialogue without an animation.
I mean, we go to the same school!

JEN talks through ENDRIT’s dialogue.

ENDRIT
Really , I haven’t noticed you !

Really, I haven’t noticed you!

JEN
(Of course you haven’t as everybody else)
Yes !

(Of course you haven’t, just like everybody else.)
Yes!

JAKE
(Interesting , she knows him?)
Hey [NAME] where’s your friend !?

(Interesting, she knows him?)
Hey, [NAME], where’s your friend?!

ALBA
Hi everybody
No time to talk
Go Go go

Hi, everybody.
No time to talk.
Go! Go! Go!

JEN talks through ALBA’s dialogue.

Outro

The end of this chapter !
To be continued !

The end of this chapter!
To be continued!

1 Like

Thank you !

Would you like to do r4r

1 Like

Send me the link of your story ! AND i’ll start yours !

Hello Everyone , I’m Ari
strong textSTORY : ADVENTUROUS
strong text DESCRIPTION : You’ll take in charge of your brother’s destiny , you’ll notice someone is after you , why ? find out by reading it my story
If you want r4r dm me on Instagram / @ariblueepisode
I hope you enjoy on Maximum