Proof Read For My First Scenes?

[RaddyDaddy]

Hey there! I just started scripting my story and I would really like to know if it’s too slow or too fast or anything like that. It’s only a few scenes so far, but if anyone’s willing to share feedback that would be awesome!

Details:

Summary

TITLE: Aces and Keys
SHORT DESC: Lord Myka’s compass pin is supposedly the key to saving her world, so when she finds a human with the same compass tattooed on his arm— he could be the solution to everything.
GENRE: Fantasy

Here’s the link
PS. Don’t read the second chapter, it’s just my intro and CC for future copy and paste.

[Teeg_22]

Hey I just read through what you’ve already done, I absolutely love the intro! It runs so smoothly. I don’t particularly read fantasies but if i had started one that had an intro like yours I would DEFINITELY read it! Although I don’t really understand what the spotify playlist before the intro means. I think that maybe you could explain maybe a backstory or what the character is doing there to understand the story a bit better and also the chest and the key part where it says to touch the key, it also works if you touch anywhere else on the screen but i dont think most readers will mind about that But the story looks rlly good so far so keep writing

[RaddyDaddy]

thanks so much for the input! when i continue the story i’m planning on revealing that information later in the episode. and the spotify playlist basically just means that you can listen to my playlist while you’re reading the story