Q about prgancy

Hellooo, I just have a couple of questions about pregnancy which is a bit based on some things I’ve read from different topics discussed here on the forums but they’re too outdated so nobody would answer me. I’d really appreciate it if I get answers from people who’ve actually been pregnant since I’m genuinely confused and want to understand for my own life really.

I purposely spelt the title like that so I don’t get flagged.

I may have more questions that I’ll add later but these are some I have for now:

  • Why do some women decide to not have an epidural? Is there a difference not having one and having an epidural? Is it better not to have an epidural?

  • I’ve read that women get “sewn up” down there after childbirth, and do all women get sewn? Why do they need to?

  • Do women have to exercise and diet after giving birth in order to get their normal weight back? (This is probably self explanatory but I’m just wondering)


It’s really a personal preference and depends on the pain. Some women experience lasting pain even after the birth is over (months, sometimes years), epidurals are administered through needles into the spine so there is always a risk of damage and also it may not always work anyway.

Some argue it might be better to have one, and others may argue that it’s not.

This only happens if they have a cesarean (being cut open to birth the baby) or if they’ve torn their you-know-what which can sometimes require stitches.

The initial ‘floppy belly’ (or deflated ballon lol) duration can last a varying amount of time, from a few days to a few weeks.

It varies from woman to woman, some heal within a short period of time, others take longer and some never revert back to how they once were.

Also a side note: Not every woman will gain a substantial amount of weight, it can really vary.

It’s different for everyone. Some don’t, and some do - factors that can affect this are: age, metabolism, diet, genetics, lifestyle, elasticity of the skin.

I hope these answered helped! (:


Yeah, it sounds scary :sob: I’m a little afraid of needles especially being shot in the back I feel like it’ll hurt so bad. My mum told me it really hurt.
If women do get an epidural do they not feel the pain of childbirth at all?

I’ve also heard that some people who’ve given birth said that when they actually gave birth it didn’t hurt and that shocked me, I would love that especially since I have a very low tolerance of pain.

And they give the epidural just before the baby is delivered ?

Also if they choose not to get an epidural it doesn’t mean that it’ll hurt more without it?

Oh no, I know about cesarean delivery (my mother has had it a few times) :wink: I was referring to the second point you mentioned! That part (sry lmao), it doesn’t always get torn right? It just happens to some people?

This was the reason why I never wanted kids in the past :sob: it’s scary but I really like babies lmao as long as the pain doesn’t last forever I hope it goes fine

So everything really just depends on the one giving birth, I had no idea honestly. Would this be the same with the bl___ing too? I heard that women bl__d for a while I dunno if it’s right after the delivery or if it happens randomly but I heard that it’s like having a very heavy period ?

Also I apologize that I’m so dumb :sob: some of the things I asked were self explanatory I think but I just wanted to be sure and know more stuff that I didn’t know before, despite being a girl ;/

That makes a lot more sense actually :hushed:

Thanks so much for explaining ^^ :blush: it helped me with understanding better.


When my mum was expecting me she didn’t even know she was expecting, she went in for an appointment instead of going to the appointment she was rushed into delivery and out I came as quick as my mum was in delivery I was out… My Nana was signing papers and she almost fainted when I was handed to her… my mum had about 38 or something stitches I was quick easy and pain free birth… My aunties however screamed etc I know one of them had an epidural not sure if they both did or not though, I think they also had stitches, most women what I’ve been told when they have their first child will have to have stitches…

It’s different for everyone,not all women will have the same experience, like Kate Middleton she was hospitalised due to very bad morning sickness not all women will get that bad, some are sick, some just feel sick, some suffer just in the mornings or nights some all day, some barely any morning sickness… it varies with each person…

It’s great to ask these sort of questions, but probably talking to females in your family who’ve had children might be better than the forums…

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I was going to ask them at first actually but majority of them had similar experiences to one another that’s why I wanted to know is it the same for everyone else. Majority of my female family members weren’t able to do a natural delivery so I was wondering what it’s like for those who’ve had a natural delivery.


No worries, one of my aunties who had the epidural, had issues with it not working, and as lso suffering issues today because of it, but it varies, my mum was the only one in the family who gave birth quick and easy, one of my friends who has 2 children she can’t have any more because of a health complication she suffered with both pregnancies… I have another friend who’s expecting her 2nd child, her first was a breeze, to he second she has complications, where she could lose the bub still… I hope I haven’t scared you into never having children, everyone is different everyone’s bodies are different… I’m in my 30’s with no kids :woman_shrugging:t3:


Thanks so much for your response! Honestly I don’t know why I never thought of how everything just varies from person to person in this case, I just thought majority of women suffer from a lot of pain during childbirth and afterwards as well as thought that it takes a whole while to heal. But everything just depends on the person.

And to be honest it still seems scary I won’t lie, I still hope to have a kid one day haha

Also, I hope everything goes well for your friend :pleading_face: !

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Hey there, I’ve had 3 kiddies. I’ll try to make some of these answers……vanilla for the audience.

  • Why do some women decide to not have an epidural? — The same reason anyone wont or can’t take any drug. Allergies, personal beliefs, or simply there wasn’t time for it.

*Is there a difference not having one and having an epidural?— Yes, without the epidural, you feel literally EVERYTHING. Child birth is no joke painful.

*Is it better not to have an epidural? Total a matter on opinion. — I had 2 of 3 without the epidural.

  • I’ve read that women get “sewn up” down there after childbirth, I never knew this :sob: and do all women get sewn?— Not all, but some women do need some “downthere” stitches. And no I don’t mean c-section. This will vary woman to woman, baby to baby.

  • Why do they need to?— Hmmm, easiest way to explain this is: Even elastic has a tear point and compare a small-medium melon to a lemon in size.

  • How long does it take to heal after childbirth since I know women get really heavy :red_circle:, how long does that last for?— Varies 4-6 weeks and varies 4-6 weeks.

  • Do women have to exercise and diet after giving birth in order to get their normal weight back? (This is probably self explanatory but I’m just wondering) —Also varies, every woman’s body is different.

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I can’t answer for the other questions but my mom (has 6 kids with me included) always recommends to refuse the epidural. That’s because it wasn’t administered in time for it to affect the pain during childbirth and only made her groggy afterwards.


Thanks so much for your response ^^


It makes sense for some people to need those stitches. I just can’t imagine having to go through the pain of giving birth to a kid and then getting sewn with a needle especially down in that area.

I honestly could choose not to have any but I think it would be nice to have a family of my own one day and I like babies a lot haha that’s why really.

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  • Why do some women decide to not have an epidural? Is there a difference not having one and having an epidural? Is it better not to have an epidural?

For some people, especially ones who do not handle pain well, epidurals are great. They essentially numb you to dull the pain of contractions. There are risks to them (misplacing the needle causing it to fail, prolonged back pain etc.) but most of those risks are to the mother, not fetus.
Not having one means that you feel increased pain through contractions.
Whether to get one or not is a personal choice. I’ve had 2 children. The first I went natural/no meds because I didn’t plan on having another and wanted to feel the whole experience. With my second I was induced and the pain from the Pitocin was so bad that I couldn’t breathe through the pain (it was like all 18hrs of labor with my first smashed into every contraction) and I felt like I was on fire from pain- to give scale, I am a person who handles physical pain very well-- my husband jokes that I might be a robot in disguise. and so my doctor gave me the epidural so that I’d be able to breathe normally and push.

  • I’ve read that women get “sewn up” down there after childbirth, I never knew this :sob: and do all women get sewn? Why do they need to?
    Okay, so sometimes ( it’s happened to me twice) the space between the v and the a tears due to the stress placed on that area by pushing and the baby passing the birth canal and coming out. After all the pushing and the joy of holding your baby, you barely notice they’re doing anything in that region. I know that I didn’t notice until the doctor was like “there’s a little tearing so we’re going to throw in a couple stitches to be safe”. Not all women have this happen. Some women never have it happen and others (like myself) have to have it after every birth. Again, you really don’t notice because you’re so exhausted and happy.

  • How long does it take to heal after childbirth since I know women get really heavy :red_circle:, how long does that last for?
    Approximately 6 weeks is the norm-- though some women don’t feel fully recovered for longer AND C-sections take longer because it’s a surgical procedure. Think of it in terms of a trauma. Your body has been stretched, enlarged, swollen etc. all while pumping up the blood volume to support a fetus. Yes, there is heavy bleeding right after birth and for several days to weeks afterwards but it eventually stops. Overnight thick pads and incontinence underwear is your friend for several weeks. They literally give you adult diapers at the hospital to wear after birth.

  • Do women have to exercise and diet after giving birth in order to get their normal weight back? (This is probably self explanatory but I’m just wondering)
    Some do, some don’t. I didn’t gain much weight with my first child and was back to pre-preg weight by my first checkup. With my second, I gained much more weight and while I didn’t adhere to a diet, I did eat healthier because I was breastfeeding and since I already had a 9 year old my exercise came through daily activities with the kids (walks, etc) and I got back to pre-preg weight probably 6mo- a year later because it wasn’t as important to me as it was with my first and I had less time to workout/diet with my husband traveling for work and I with two children. lol


So, the epidurals are given to numb the pain of the contractions? I think I misunderstood at first and thought it gets rid of the pain of childbirth lmao omg. But thank you so much for explaining everything in detail as well :sparkling_heart: it helped me understand much clearer too !

From your experience, would you say the contractions were really bad/painful? I know it varies I’m just wondering what it may feel like or what you can compare the pain to maybe? I’ve heard people saying it’s like period crams but way worse.

I didn’t even know the epidural was something you can say yes or no to since my mum told me that nobody asked her and just gave it to her so I was a little confused unless it was needed to be given for some reason.

Also, just a question if you don’t mind me asking, you said you’re induced? What does that mean? You didn’t have contractions then? Sorry if you feel uncomfortable answering

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Most of the pain of childbirth comes from the contractions-- pushing isn’t so fun either but contractions contribute most of the pain and can last for hours ( My first labor was 18+ hours. I know people who labor for longer than that-- all before pushing. lol)

So, I’ll tell you the story of my first labor experience, then my second:
1st: Friends and I went to a BBQ place that advertised 5lb baked potatoes (I wanted one lol). Got to the restaurant and they were out of them and I was having what felt like only to describe it is like a stomachache mixed with period cramps. I assumed that it was Braxton-Hicks (false labor pain) because I didn’t feel like it hurt enough for real labor (as I’d seen in media and heard from friend’s experience.) so I ignored it until it got a little worse where I really felt it and so I walked around the restaurant until all my friends were done eating-- then I drove them all home-- then my friend was like “girl, I’m taking you to the hospital”. So I went thinking they’d tell me I was having false contractions-- Nope 4 of the 10cm dilated in active labor. I actually asked the doctor if I could go home and come back when it hurt more.
^^^ I have a very high pain tolerance. Of course he said no and my son was born 18hrs later.

2nd: I was as big as I was tall, having back and hip pain and was fed up with it. I asked my doctor (since I was at my due date) if I could be induced. He checked me and E out and said yes. So I went to the hospital and they started the pitocin and in about 10 minutes I was close to hyperventilation from pain. As I described above-- I can handle pain-- but this was a whole new level of pain and got the epidural on the doctor’s orders. So, in this delivery, the contractions were excruciatingly painful because the process had been sped up.

Yes, you have the right to refuse an epidural and any other procedure during pregnancy and delivery. The only exception is prolonged, non-progressing labor that is putting child and mother at risk. At that point, doctors can over-ride your decision to save your lives. Other than that kind of situation, it is well within your right to decline or accept anything the doctor offers/suggests.

Induced means that they give you a drug that speeds the process of labor along-- example, first labor - 18+ hrs and the contractions came in intervals so I could anticipate them and push through them mentally ( to the point that a nurse that came to check my monitor asked me if I was paralyzed or had had an epidural because me and my then husband were having a perfect everyday conversation while my contractions were going off the chart.) With Pitocin (the drug that speeds up the process) causes contractions to come at quick successions --essentially forcing the labor along to give birth sooner than normal labor and contractions do. My second child was born in less than 6 hours from induction. I managed to make it through 1* of those hours before letting my husband tell the doctors to give me the epidural. After the epidural, I could still feel the physical action of the contraction but it was like the pain was in the background/not as intense to the point of barely noticing.

Feel free to ask whatever. After having 10 doctors/nurses and students staring down there for several hours – not to mention the dilation checks etc. – I’m not shy about pregnancy or delivery lol.
edit:typo lol

I have had two kids, so I will answer! Important to note that pregnancy and childbirth varies heavily and everyone has a different experience. So, from a writing accuracy standpoint as long as you’re consistent you’ll be fine.

To answer this it is important to note that there are two kinds of pain you can experience during childbirth. The ‘traditional’ pain from contractions, which is painful but feels like period cramping on overdrive. And then there is ‘back labour.’ The most painful thing you can ever experience. Most women get lucky and experience only the pain from contractions. In my experience, contraction pain is intense but it can be managed with walking, breathing, gas, and the lesser pain meds. But back labour… oh man… It’s feels like being punched by a ten pound weight against your spine from the inside over and over, increasing as your contraction pain goes on. It’s volts of electricity up your spine. It’s a ten for me. Literally no pain I’ve ever experienced compares. And it lasts. Once you start experiencing back labour it means your labour is slowing down, big time. My first was a nearly 50 hour labour. And at first it was painful, terrible front labour. And then it started. My daughter wasn’t breach (where the baby is feet first instead of head first) but her face was ‘facing’ the wrong way (there is an ideal head position) which was causing her to be stuck and she was just banging over and over again in the canal.

Finally, I lamented that this pain was beyond me. I was experiencing this intense pain second after second as my contractions were now high, but static. I took the epidural. The hardest part was trying to stay still between the pain. Didn’t even feel the needle up the spine as it didn’t remotely compare.

Now, it completely dulls the pain but you can still feel the contractions. There’s is just no pain. When it comes time to push you can feel your body’s natural pull and you know when to push. You can still tell what’s going on. Some people believe taking an epidural will slow down your labour, I think it’s one of two things. One, if you’re experiencing back labour your labour is already slowed and two, if you take an epidural it’s harder to walk around and if you were only experiencing ‘front’ labour that can slow it down.

Someone else already mentioned the possible side effects of an epidural so I won’t. It isn’t better to have one or not have one because all labours are different.

Gonna blow your mind with this one! Doctors used to do something called a episiotomy. Which is basically when the doctor cuts you ahead of time in an attempt to have a controlled tear believing it would heal better than a natural one. It is now considered worse because it failed to do all that. Read at your own discretion: Link

A large majority of women do require some sewing. It is not recommended to just ‘let tears heal naturally’ as they can heal… very wrong.

I have a funny story, but i’ll blur since it seems to be the thing to do, lmao: After delivery, I had been awake for over three days at that point, I had a tear inside the canal, and they needed a surgeon. Surgeon comes, one hand lifting inside to sew inside and he’s talking about whether his daughter should take advanced classes in high school or not. So I’m telling him that unless it’s an IB class the universities won’t give any special notice and she risks scoring lower, which is all they care about. So, here we are, post delivery… It still makes me chuckle.

Honestly, I have forgotten how long. It was weeks which my first but with my second much less. I think less than a week. With my first I actually feel asleep and bleed through the bed and completely destroyed the mattress. What you’re bleeding is called your ‘lochia’ and even women who have had a C-section will experience it. Fun reading: Link

As someone who seems cursed to gain massive weight after finishing breastfeeding (another issue entirely…) the answer is… it varies. But, women who already ate healthily and already had a fit body tend to more naturally go back to a ‘healthier’ body with less effort, in my experience.

Women especially who choose to not breastfeed tend to have a much much easier time too, again, in my experience. The exception is versus the women who chose not to versus the woman who couldn’t.

Okay, I’ll end with one actually fun fact: During my second my water broke exactly like it does in the movies. No joke. I was standing and then it ‘popped’ and I was in a pool of water like in The Sims.


Yes! Some women bleed a lot and others, not as much. There are actually maternity pads specifically for these “periods.”

Rest assured, no, it does not always get torn haha.

It varies and highly depends on 1) if the epidural placement was correct and 2) if it was conducted early enough. Epidurals are designed to “deaden” from the waist down to limit or eliminate pain. The after effects often result in wobbly legs and sometimes difficulty walking.

If an epidural is administered too late, the birth will be painful and the epidural essentially would have been for nothing.

There is also a gas that can be administered through a mask to limit pain, of course, same thing, sometimes this may not work. Both of them can be administered if the woman wants it.

Like I stated before, if the epidural placement was wrong or given too late - pain will definitely be there.

Definitely true for some people! My mom for instance did not feel a thing when I was cut out of her and my friend gave birth a few years ago to her first child and she told me that she didn’t feel a thing, despite losing more blood than usual and needing stitches down there!

You’re most welcome. (:


Had this with my first and still tore an additional 2cm.


Labor refers to getting the contractions right? I’ve always heard that it takes really long before the baby is born, before I thought women just get the contractions and then they push and the baby is out? Why does it take so long anyway?

Thanks so much for explaining everything so well and in detail too :sparkling_heart:

I can’t even imagine having to experience both the pain from contractions AND that back pain as well, it must hurt really bad ahh. This would happen when near the due date? I’m asking as if I’m trying to prepare beforehand lmao don’t mind me just curious that’s all haha

Just asking in general, not very related to childbirth but I do know that during the 9 months women aren’t allowed to take painkillers at all, right? Even when they’re suffering from like headpains? Do they just suffer through that?

Is it okay if I asked how they helped her to be delivered the “right” way? Making her head come out first rather than her feet?

Ahh I was searching just a little bit about why they sew up women in that area just before I made this topic and on a website they used that term so I thought that’s what doctors do!

Blurring this since it’s not that relevant… well kind of :joy:

To be honest I’m scared of needles and scared of getting a surgery done especially knowing that my mom went through a lot when we were born since it wasn’t a “natural” delivery unfortunately so I’ve been hoping that in the future that I never have to get my abdominal area cut when having a kid but I never imagined that either way I’d need to have a stitch somewhere ahaha. I’ll think about this more later in the future though :sweat_smile:

It’s just the way our bodies work. labor meaning: contractions start, “water” breaks (there is a mucus plug that develops when you get pregnant that keeps the amniotic fluid inside that comes out when you go into labor… though sometimes it becomes necessary for the doctor to break the sac around the baby manually with a hooked device that’s put “up there”.) and the baby moves into the birth canal. Once you’ve dilated to 10cm (the norm size of a baby’s head at birth though some are bigger or smaller depending on development weight etc), they have you push.

It’s not always a super long process. I’ve known women who labored for a few hours, pushed twice and there’s the baby. I’ve also known women who have labored for 30 + hours and pushed for an hour before the baby is out. Everyone’s different but the process is the same: contractions and water breaks then dilation then pushing. With C sections, they cut into the abdomen, expose the uterus then cut into it to get the baby out. Most C-sections take about an hour without complications.

No problem. :slight_smile: Like I said, I’ll answer your questions and try to give as much info as I can.

Oh, and while due dates are pretty accurate, babies can be born within two weeks before or even after a due date. My stepson was two weeks late and they had to induce his mother. My oldest came 4 days before and I was induced on my due date with the second so technically that one was right :joy:

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