Okay, I’ll start reading yours soon! Take your time!
If anyone would like to do a r4r I’m totally down!
Title: Led by Deception
Author/Instagram: Rea @ledbydeception
Description: Desensitization- it’s how Nix got herself through the many cases she’s solved. But now? They are watching and they’re out for blood. Will Nix dig deep enough to uncover the truth?
@TamiRose I’ve only gotten up to three chapters since I have to save my tickets for the rest, but here’s what I think so far:
- This is a refreshing story. For once, I’m not restricted to the MC’s POV. Getting to control other character’s choices is a first for me and I like it when things surprise me.
- I appreciate how you worked the customization template in. Very clever of you.
- The most interesting dynamic for me is the one with Hazel. Sprinkling hints of her and Sierra’s backstory is good stuff. I’m a sucker for that kind of dynamic. Evan? I haven’t formed an opinion on him yet. I’m hoping he’ll be more fleshed out in later chapters.
- I struggle with clever comebacks in dialogue sometimes and I really like the gems I’ve found in your writing.
- One nitpicky thing I have: take time to frame the characters properly. The camera can be used to also tell a story and convey the mood of your scene.
- Over-the-shoulder shots are a tricky thing to direct (and a pain in the buttocks to script), but when done right, the pay-off is worth it. Instead of having Sierra flip around to face the camera, I suggest just switching her and Kelsey’s spot if you want us to see her reaction.
- Last, but not the least before I have to move on:
Leave Britney alone, Dad!
@Grottino Sure! Got a story for me to read?
@writerren No rush here either.
@ledbydeception Adding it to the list!
Yes, got a story for ya!
Here’s the link
Sounds pretty neat! If you’d like to do an R4R or review with me, check out my thread below.
- This is a very impressive showcase of your directing abilities. Clickable overlays, animated overlays, getting to customize my bed and my room? Get outta here.
- I appreciate the fact that you took the time to set up the setting of the story. Sci-fi involves a lot of world-building and lore (which is why I’ve strayed away from ever writing that genre), but you’ve managed to give me just enough without overwhelming me with information.
- That said, you have a very compelling premise in your hands. It’s a strong start and I hope it keeps up for the next chapters.
- Also… Proper punctuation and capitalization? Be still my beating heart.
- The only minor thing that bothers me are the speechbubble placements. Sometimes it’s either placed too far away or too near to the character. This is strictly a personal preference though.
Ah, the good ol’ love-hate dynamic is just [chef’s kiss].
- I’ll give you my final thoughts in a PM once I get caught up in your latest update.
@Grottino Got it. Stay put. Just gotta read through Rea’s story first.
@idktrever Will do.
Hiyah, thanks very much for the thoughtful feedback. And that was my first time trying the over the shoulder but I figured when she turned around, she’s kind of trying to convey that she wasn’t comfortable talking about it with her but I guess I failedddd I was actually fixing up some things that @writerren suggested so I’m glad you pointed these out so I can add your ideas in And yes to Britney, let her liveeeeee
On to yours, I have absolutely nothing to say about your story except that it’s well thought out, your grammar was just about on point, no directing issues, I was so into it that I forgot to take SS of the first two episodes.
I have no doubt your story will do very well. Good job and keep it up, looking forward to your next episodes
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words/feedback. I’m so glad you liked the story so far!
Also, this is literally me whenever I read a story with correct grammar ^^
I’m currently reading episode 2 of your story and I’m loving it so far! I’ll send my thoughts and screenshots once I’ve finished all 3
Title: Light After Dark
Author: Raven Writes
Description: After the death of the love of your life, you vow to never love again. Will a new found friendship with a kind stranger finally allow you to heal? Or will it too end in tragedy?
Could I please have a review?
Hey, I just finished the 3 episodes of your story. It was so so good! I absolutely loved every second of it.
Your grammar, spelling, and sentence structure were all executed so well which really made your story easy to read. Your directing was great and I honestly didn’t notice any glitches. I also really loved your characters and the way you helped me connect with all of them in just the first 3 episodes. This is something that’s really hard to do so great job!
Here’s some screenshots of my favorite moments…
Loved this magazine cover!
Also, thank you for including a female love interest branch!
Hi! Your story looks interesting! Wanna do R4R?
Tittle: Agent 66: Born to Kill (CC)
Description: Agent 66 is an infamous assassin. But when a mission gone wrong, 66 kidnaps Sasha - his possible witness, and sets to discovers the truth before it’s too late.
- I love a solid mystery plot. When you have a reader genuinely wondering what Nix and Mara’s connection is, what Archer’s really all about, and who Nix is… You know you’ve got someone hooked.
- Grammar’s a huge factor for me when reading stories and I’m happy to see you’ve got that covered.
- Nix and Archer’s banter is entertaining to read. Especially with the added flavor of the MC having mind-reading abilities.
- I can see that you obviously have a good grip of where you want this story to go. I’m all in for the ride and I’m excited to see what you have in store for us.
@Grottino Sit tight, my dude. Your story’s up next.
@Rose.xo_97 Nice. Action. I’mma add it to the list.
@RavenWrites Ooh, a romance story. Yes, I’ll review it for you. Can’t wait to read it.
- As I’ve said earlier, I was extremely interested in your story’s setting and either: a) you’ve done a heck of a lot of research or; b) you know your source well. Or maybe even c) both?
- I adore Giuseppe (I hope I spelled that right) and how distinct your characters’ personalities are. I wish I could actually see more of that play out in conversations with the MC.
- I genuinely found myself rooting for MC and Beppe, but I also wanted to explore MC’s newfound sexuality with his co-worker.
When I say I struggled…
Proofread, check your grammar and spelling, and switch up your camera angles from time to time so it’s not just one static shot every scene. You don’t have to do anything too fancy, but even a simple close-up to show a character’s reaction helps bring your story to life.
Your story has a lot of potential and I truly mean that. A unique setting with a rare bisexual male MC plus fun and interesting characters. You can do so much more with this if you really take the time to polish everything.
I wasn’t quick enough to capture that Carmilla reference. I felt like I was ripped back to 2014.
Interested in an R4R?
Title; Gods Among Us
Description; Gods and demons are both after you as a war for the universe unfolds. When your true destiny is revealed will you be able to face it? And who will stand by your side when you do?
Ty for your review. I hope you will continue reading my story and the shenanigans of its characters.
@Bllueskies6 You bet’cha. I have a rough draft of a story with a similar description as yours. I wonder if it’ll be similar to that… Guess, I’ll find out.
@Grottino Not a problem.
Lol, let me know when you release it. I’ll be more than happy to give it a read
Here my story if you up for a read!
Story: Falling All Over
Genre: romance, drama
Chapters: 4 (more episode coming soon)
Summary: A girl name Jill Wood who started college and her family are kinda like in a gang and she in love with someone name Carrie who is her best friend and crush and she wants to protect her from rival gang, Ex, and enemies. (LGBT+Q)
Follow me on Instagram for updates for my story!
Of course. Pls tag me when you release your new chapter.