R4R With Feedback

[Odilia]

Hi everyone,

Who likes to read my story? I’m also reading yours and giving feedback. And of course, I’d like feedback in return.

Here is my story:

Title: The Game Is On
Author: Odilia
Description: Panic takes over when Auberge’s friend is getting strange visions. Since then Auberge and her friends do anything to escape them, but will it work?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4738080927449088
Genre: Drama, mystery
Episodes: 3 (more to come)

Thank you in advance!

[Marshmallow_O]

i’d love to do a r4r with you! i can also give detailed feedback as well! i’ll get started right now!

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy (Thriller)
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Summary: It’s a race against time as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to…

Cover

Chapters: 4 (More to come)

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!

[LiyahxWrites]

Hi, would you like to do a read for read? I’m up for giving feedback
Title: Bad Behavior
Author: Liyah
Genre: Drama
Episodes: 4 (more to come)
Summary: How will Alana, Lucas, Ryan and Rachel survive their past and conquer their future…
If bad behavior follows them everywhere, they go?
cc, and choices available!
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5778189056540672
Cover:

[Maya6]

I will do r4r with you

Title of my story: The Star Necklace

Genere: Drama

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6248660515487744

[Maya6]

[lizzy.writes]

Sounds interesting! I would be willing to do a r4r with you if you would like
Story: Sorry, Wrong Number
Genre: Thriller
Summary: “And that’s how we’ll get rid of the body. Sorry, wrong number.”
When a text is sent to the wrong person, it leads to a race against time to prevent a murder. TEXT BASED
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5933958626344960

[Maya6]

Well the amount of choices is good

And grammar and spelling is good

But you need to make chapters longer and put some zooms in it

And the transitions make them fade out

[LiyahxWrites]

Review, Feedback.

Episode 1

The Game Is On.
Episode 1

• First feedback - I would of had waited to post your story because you have no cover. Most people wouldn’t open a story without a cover.

• You should add more zooms.

• Fix your speech-bubbles.
• The “talking to my readers part” eh it’s a little overused (but that’s just my prerogative)
• Mom’s speech bubble is on the MC.
• The mom and dad and mc talking to us.
• Limelight boys are shorter than the girls by default, you should try spot directing.
• The dads mouth is still moving while the mc is talking. might want to put him in idle after he is finished. same with all the characters.
• I agree with the dad… what is the point of us this scene.
• You should use transitions.
• You should also use sound.
• You should let readers know that there is no cc in this story.
• Is this introduction going to be in every scene?
• omg
• Episode 1 was a bit short. Or maybe it’s just because I am fast reader

Episode 2

• Honestly I am confused.
• When you start a new scene. try this INT. BACKGROUND-DAY
  &CHAR stands screen right
• “Who is you”? or do you mean “Who are you?”
• Everything…seems rushed… The dialogue is short.
• Maybe let readers know that there isn’t choices in this episode.
• Sound would be nice.
• Is she looking for something in the hot tub?
• I was confused this entire episode.

Episode 3

• I mean she’s getting mad because someone sees her half naked but she’s the one who chose to be half naked in public.
• She’s been wearing the same thing for 3 episodes.
• I am confused.

This review is based on the first 3 episodes of this story.
It is meant to provide a constructive criticism and a different perspective to help your story grow and improve. In no way is this review meant to be rude or discouraging.
Spelling (10/10)
Grammar (10/10)
Sentence structure (8/10)
Directing (5/10)
Plot: (5/10)
Other: Your story needs improvement, you should take the time out and test out you story.
Overall Score:
38/50

[Maya6]

Okay let’s do r4r

[Amiraa]

I would love to do a r4r
Name: Broken
Author: Weird
Here’s my story

[lizzy.writes]

Just finished. Let me know when you’ve read mine

[Koolgal77]

Hey @Odilia
I recently revamped my story, and I would love to do a read 4 read

Title: Unbearable Pain
Genre: It’s a mix of fantasy, action and drama.
Chapters: 3
Style: Ink
Author: Koolgal77 (me )
Description:
The SAO’s goal is to place unbearable pain in the hearts of every supernatural. They have waged a war, one which a cursed bloodline must stop. The question is: Why the Costellos?
Instagram handle: @koolgal.epi
Covers: They are done by the talented @epysar on Instagram.
Link:

The Best Stories Are Worth Sharing: Unbearable Pain (REVAMPED 1-3)

I hope you enjoy my story if you do give it a read.

[Odilia]

I’m updating this story at the moment, so don’t go away yet!

[cath.episode90]

Story Name : My Savior
Author : Catherine s
Genre : Drama
Status : 8 episodes so far more coming soon
Style : Limelight
Instagram : @cath.episode90
Description: stuck in an abusive relationship, Skyler leaves town with the help of her best friend. what happens when she gets there, is she really free from him? !

The Best Stories Are Worth Sharing: my savior

[Odilia]

My story has been updated! Take a look.

[Clotho]

Hi i’d like to do a R4R with you here are my story details:

Title: Beauty in Melancholy
Author: Clotho
Instagram; @clotho.episode
Episodes: 5 (ongoing)
Genre; Romance, Slice of life, drama, with a little comedy
Style: INK
Description: Silver is an introvert who just started Uni, her life took a massive turn after meeting a group of people in one fateful yet crazy night

Link:

The Best Stories Are Worth Sharing: Beauty in Melancholy

[Clotho]

@Odilia i’ll start on ur story kay & would dm you the SS ^^

[Rose.xo_97]

Hi! Your story looks interesting! Wanna do R4R with me?

This is my story
Tittle: Taken: Dead or Alive (INK)
Author: xoRoséxo
Genre: Drama/Action
Description: Rose & Sophia Beaumont are tough to handle. But what if one is taken and another one has been targeted to kill? Will they able to stay strong? Or love will get in the way?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5725258112892928
Instagram: xoroses.episode

[Odilia]

Certainly! Where would you like to receive your feedback?

[Odilia]

I’ve read a few chapters of your story. Where would you like to receive the feedback?