I will flatter myself.
i need to vent
Stop. I’m tired of people thinking I’m a rude person without knowing me. You believe rumors without any proof so you think I’m awful without even talking to me. I’ve said some terrible stuff here but don’t make up your mind about me just because of those tiny things. People have done worse and you love them for that. Why me? No one cares about this dirty rag anymore. You sure know how to make a person feel worthless.
“Oh… but my friend said you’re a–” I don’t care what your freaking friend said about me. Find better friends that don’t spread rumors about people. “Multiple people said that you–” You seriously believe them? Oh, of course you do. You’d believe anyone over me, isn’t that true? You think I’m the devil just because of a rumor. You make mistakes too, you know?
No matter how many people agree with you or are on your side, you can never make a lie true. You can’t make bad assumptions about me just because of things I’ve done in the past. No one can change the past. Stop. Please stop. You’ve only heard one side of the story, plus you can’t confirm it’s true. Stop jumping to the conclusion that I’m an awful person. I’ve made mistakes and so have you.
What I’ve learned from this is that you should never trust anyone. Not even your friends. They’ll almost all leave you and humiliate you in the end. I’ve had my fair share of this, trust me. I may have to leave the forums because this stuff can mess up your mental health real bad. I’m not playing victim or trying to convince you that I’m a good person. I’m saying that it’s up to you whether you want to be my friend or not. Let’s start over, shall we?
Chin up. In the great words of Tywin Lannister from before Game of Thrones started to suck: A lion doesn’t concern him, or I’m assuming in this case herself, with the opinions of sheep.”.
Who’s doing this to you?
Omg slay Theo
you do like
You say stuff about me and expect me not to get mad? You make a group chat so that you can insult me and degrade me and then add me in so i can read what you’re saying and then you block my number so I can’t reply? Stop, freaking stop. Please. I’m already dealing with so much shit right now. I don’t want to flip out at you. I can be scary, really scary. I don’t want to lose control like that. I haven’t ‘just got anger issues’. I have BPD. I really don’t want to flip out. When i do, it’s all or nothing. And you don’t want all. Just stop. I hate it. Stop it. It’s so freaking immature.
Frick. I just cannot. Deal with this. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t. I can’t. I. Can’t. I’m not ready to leave my intensive therapist, I’m not. I’m not I’m not. I know she’s only for short term but I can’t. I’m not ready. Nobody understands, nobody cares, nobody nothing. I’m all alone. I don’t want to leave her, why is everyone saying I’m ready? I’m not! I’m not just being needy and clinging to her. I actually fucking need her. To live. It’s either her or the hospital. I’d rather have her, thanks.
I have two packs of Oreos.
Can’t nobody tell me nuuthinnn.
That was defo not a rant but wateva.
Wow, what horrible people.
I can’t believe
My mind is my own bully. I’ve noticed it’s gotten way worse tonight…
My mother was trying to sleep and my brain kept filling my head with thoughts of the worst that could happen in situations I would soon be in. (Ex: sent an email to my old best friend that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done, and that she’s amazing. Brain tells me that she will reply by telling me how ungrateful I am that she waited for so long.)
My crying woke my mum up 4 times until she had it and started to get angry at me. So now, my evil mind is not only wrecking me, but it’s also wrecking other people… sigh I really didn’t want it to come to this.
im so stressed right now wtf
You’re so sweet
idk it’s like 100 different things mainly my exams though
Oh there was so much that happened this weekend and I was just slowly losing it and I thought I lost everything but everything is better now. It was just me belittling myself. But I’m still slightly depressed but I’m sure that’ll pass with time.
I genuinely don’t think I’ve got this at all
Awwwwww it’s okay Esther I mean I only have one more year left and I’ll be free and hopefully happy. And I didn’t break Leonard I mean he was sad and concerned but we’re good talked everything out which calmed my anxiety.
No we talked about it and talked things through and he helped clear some things because I was gonna break up with him for him but he cleared up my fears and we’re really still together and I’m calmer about this summer
Yeah I was so scared and anxious but all’s good
I don’t feel like a complete waste of human to him for now but I always get so nervous
I’m doing great, so great. I’m practically thriving… From mental illnesses.