Rate my dialogue (again oops)


#1

Hi again! Its the friendly fana fongoose.
OK anyway lmao, I’ve decided to change my story line to a dystopian thriller with a romance subplot, but I changed the dialogue and I just wanna know if this sounds good. It’s a bit short and I don’t really like it, but i’ll probably change it again oops. Any constructive criticism if welcome!

ADDISON
No matter what, we all have our demons.
Either it’s as small as an insect or as big as an tsunami.

  IVAN

Either they come and go or they stay there, taunting your mind.
And the worst part? You know that they’re there.

  ADDISON

And for what? To feel useless?
To feel unlovable?

  IVAN

But, maybe we’ll never understand how we enjoy destroying ourselves.
But we will, sooner or later,
learn to fight them.

ADDISON

Even if it takes an eternity.


#2

Niceeee I love it!


#3

thank you!!


#4

I really liked it, Fana Fongoose (your profile picture gives me lifeee!)


#5

Thank you!