Hi everyone! I’ve got some free time so I was wondering if anyone would like me to review their story. Just leave the link and I’ll read and review it ASAP. If you don’t want the review public PM me. I’LL ALSO REVIEW UNPUBLISHED STORIES! I’ll only read the first episode but I may not read the whole thing. Warning I’ll be brutally honest when reviewing stories.
Points I’ll cover:
Plot
Directing
Characters
Choices
Grammar
Stories to read
Life in Demby
Finished
K&T: Dare to Kiss!
Identical
Reality behind Glasses
Necromancers
Love you To
Blackbird
The Red Curtain
Magicka: Witches aren’t real
K&T: Meet Me There
Of course what I like isn’t what everyone would like, so if I criticize something you don’t necessarily have to change it! Don’t take anything to heart.
I haven’t had a review for my newest story yet and would love one. (I’m also aware there may be some issues with some overlays)
Story: K&T: Dare to Kiss!
Author TamiRose
Genre Romance
Description Neoni, independently strong, confident and all about her business. But, that all changes when a nosy spy unnecessarily enters her life. Will she get rid of him or fall in love?
Title: Identical Genre: Mystery Description: Violet has only lived a perfect life. But that perfect life is built on a dark secret. Will that secret stop her at a chance at love or will it ruin everything? Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5565579763974144
I’d love to have your honest review!
So here’s my story: Title: Reality behind Glasses Genre: Drama, Romance Episodes: 3 (more coming soon) Description: Layla returns back home to reunite with her childhood friends - disguised as a guy! But on her first day in school, she’s exposed by one of her classmates! [LL,CC, Art,Choices M]
Hi hun! I just finished reading K&T:Dare to Kiss! I have to say I love what youve done with the overlays. I haven’t even touched them myself so it’s very brave of you to put them in!
Plot
I like the story idea, I think I understand where its going. It’s all kinda confusing however on a level that frustrated me more than excited me. I feel like the part where that guy grabbed our coffee was a little weird and unnatural. It would’ve made more sense if he was also in line and ordered the same as us. There was also so much going on for me I couldn’t keep track, first we were here, then there and I got extremely lost. Other then that it’s pretty good!
Characters
I feel like you should’ve used the episode to let the reader get to know Neoni more. I havent connected with her but of course that could happen in other episodes. The guy is a little creepy and I think he’s supposed to be our love interest. Kinda a turn off for me but we’ll see how the story plays out. Love Sam, she’s great. Strict dad, nice understanding mom we’ve seen it so many times lets switch it up.
Directing
At first with the zooms I thought they were directing mistakes but then I realized they were to hide the people’s faces. Same with the end, interesting choice but I respect it. When the character’s are talking some of them are loops, but you didn’t make them idle after so they keep talking even when someone else is. Try to fix that in the future.
Choices
Honestly can’t remember that many choices. I like how we got to choose the coffee but I’d like to see more gameplay affecting choices if that’s the type of story your going for.
Hi love, just finished the first episode of Identical. Again the overlays, you guys are killing it! I love the use of them and it looks so good especially for what kind of story your doing!
Plot
LOVE the idea you have for your story. I’m so excited to see where it goes. I love how Vi has different opinions than her dad when it comes to AI and can’t wait to see how that affects the story.
Directing
Amazing. I however wish the story was a bit longer but I understand coding can take awhile.
Characters
Love Vi already. It’s only been one episode and she already seems to have so much depth. However when it comes to AI having free will, I agree with her dad. I also love how the dad has a reason to be extremely protective in your story. Mystery boy at the end intrigues me. I assume he’s going to the agent hired to protect Vi, and can’t wait to see more of him and his character.
Choices
I saw that empathy point and I can’t help but wonder how it’ll affect the story. Guess I’ll have to read and see. A good amount of choices for the length of the episode.
Grammar
I saw no issues in this category and appreciated the definitions you gave in the story.
Summary
You have a great mind, keep using it to make masterpieces x.
Hi just read the first episode of Reality behind Glasses!
Plot
I like the idea. Kinda sad she was revealed already though, but I mean there are very OBVIOUS POINTS.literally screaming at her chest The way it starts seems pretty random. We don’t know anything about Layla besides the description. It just starts off with her as a guy in school, why? Why would she even have to disguise herself in the first place? The description said she disguised herself so she could see childhood friends. In the story she never did that all she ever did was avoid that boy. Why were they in the same class all day? I’m confused if the school is in on it. They have to know she is actually a girl right? Also I thought she was at lunch but then she was in the principal’s office? Maybe have the principal call her in at some point. Kinda wondering when the second guy comes into play. I hope they have equal screen time. We definitely need these questions answered at some point.
Directing
It looked pretty good!
Character
We don’t know much about Layla for me to like her. All I know is she’s trying to pass as a boy at school. As for her bad boy, I’m confused. In the beginning you said he was a bad boy but he doesn’t act like one at all. Maybe describe him as something else. I like the difference in the small bit of personality we saw. Hes curious and quiet. However not shy at all. New and I like it, very refreshing.
Choices
We had a good amount of choices I’d say.
Grammar
I saw no mistakes, but be mindful I’m exhausted so I might have missed some.
Summary
Your imagination is going places, and so is your writing x!
I just read Necromancers! Love the use of overlays brava!
Plot
A very interesting plot idea, but it’s kinda executed poorly. The whole story seems out of place. I still dont know what a Necromancer is, nor much about my characters. The fight scene seemed random, like it was added because the story needed action. Maybe you couldve started off with the two training on their own, then explain everything while they train. Eve can talk about their late mom to try to connect with Zeke. They should go to school, but in the middle ditch to hang out with friends. The whole thing where he slept with someone and his pants was random, I just don’t see how that was necessary to the story. Luka’s talk about Eve in bed feel pretty objectifing and I didn’t like it one bit. I know a lot of stories are written like that but I hate it so much. We (women) are more than a toy in bed, so that was a huge turn off for him as a love interest. If you want him like those kind of guys you should do it in a way where sleeping with each other isn’t the main focus. We should see Eve hanging out with her friends as well as Luka and maybe have the fight be the cliffhanger instead.
Directing
I saw no issues in this category, good job!
Characters
So their mom died and during a fight scene I learn about their powers, but what about Zeke and Eve as people? They are both our main characters but I feel Eve is more of the focus. Try to even them out more. If Eve gets a love interest so should Zeke. I want to know about Zekes relationship with his dad before the accident. Was it still bad?
Choices
Not exactly sure if the choices I had affected the story. It depends on the kind of story your making I guess. We need more choices for Zeke.
Grammar
I saw no issues yay!
Summary
Okay I honestly went really hard on you. I know your already five chapters in so don’t stop now, just keep going and try to improve every step of the way. You’re a great writer remember that x .
yeah so i am not gonna lie you were hard on me but thats fine Necromancers are sorcerers dealing with the dead. Everything has it own time in my story. I didnt want to dump much in first episodes and I wanted to keep the mystery effect so their past will be revealed in upcoming chapters. But ty for the review! I appreciate it!
Title: Blackbird Author: Licorice Genre: Action Summary: Being her personal assistant isn’t the only thing Chase’s new boss has in mind for him. Secrets of the underworld begin to unveil, and not everything is exactly as it seems. Style: Limelight Episodes: 3 (more coming soon) Link:https://bit.ly/365yrLB Instagram:@licorice.writes
