I just read Necromancers! Love the use of overlays brava!
Plot
A very interesting plot idea, but it’s kinda executed poorly. The whole story seems out of place. I still dont know what a Necromancer is, nor much about my characters. The fight scene seemed random, like it was added because the story needed action. Maybe you couldve started off with the two training on their own, then explain everything while they train. Eve can talk about their late mom to try to connect with Zeke. They should go to school, but in the middle ditch to hang out with friends. The whole thing where he slept with someone and his pants was random, I just don’t see how that was necessary to the story. Luka’s talk about Eve in bed feel pretty objectifing and I didn’t like it one bit. I know a lot of stories are written like that but I hate it so much. We (women) are more than a toy in bed, so that was a huge turn off for him as a love interest. If you want him like those kind of guys you should do it in a way where sleeping with each other isn’t the main focus. We should see Eve hanging out with her friends as well as Luka and maybe have the fight be the cliffhanger instead.
Directing
I saw no issues in this category, good job!
Characters
So their mom died and during a fight scene I learn about their powers, but what about Zeke and Eve as people? They are both our main characters but I feel Eve is more of the focus. Try to even them out more. If Eve gets a love interest so should Zeke. I want to know about Zekes relationship with his dad before the accident. Was it still bad?
Choices
Not exactly sure if the choices I had affected the story. It depends on the kind of story your making I guess. We need more choices for Zeke.
Grammar
I saw no issues yay!
Summary
Okay I honestly went really hard on you. I know your already five chapters in so don’t stop now, just keep going and try to improve every step of the way. You’re a great writer remember that x .