Read for Read/Reviews pleaaase? :)

Hi! I’ve just published my first story on Episode. It has three chapters so far, but I’m actively working on it and would love to get it out there! :slight_smile: I have a lot of free time after work, so I would be willing to do some read-for-reads and/or reviews to get our stories going. Side note, I am an editor, so if you’re looking for constructive criticism then you’ve come to the right place.

I will post my thoughts and comments on your stories in this thread, and you can do the same! All I ask is you include a screenshot showing that you’ve read it. There’s only three chapters, so it shouldn’t be that long! And I will do the same for you.

Here are the basics about my new story:

Title: The End of Love
Chapters: 3 (and counting!)
Genre: Romance/Drama
Style: INK
Description: For Reese and Levi, falling in love was a breeze. Falling out of love, however, is another story entirely.

Instagram: @kyliemstories
Link: https://www.episodeinteractive.com/s/5430072160878592
47%20AM

Full disclosure, I’m aware there’s a lot of narrative in my story. Based off the nature of what it’s about and how it starts, I found it hard to only rely on dialogue. But there will be more dialogue and character interaction in future chapters!

2 Likes

i’d love to have some very constructive critism! i’ll get started on your story right now, and give you some feedback as well! thanks for this! :two_hearts:

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Summary: Experience the race against time as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.
Chapters: 4 (More to come)
Style: Limelight

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!:blush:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Shortened Link: https://bit.ly/2FHhOMS

Ahhh thank you! I’ll get started on yours as well. :heartbeat:

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ill start on yours now

Name: Retrace
Genre: Mystery. is where I placed it. but honestly, I have no idea. maybe drama
style: ink
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6425193401417728
description: mc’s mom has been shot and is in a coma. follow her as she tries to contact her dad. while listening to the story of how her parents meet. he was the son of a mafia boss and her an undercover cop. it is two stories in one

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I would love to do a r4r.
Loving Seth
4 Episodes

Finding your true love is easy, living without them is the hard part. Will you be able to move on losing your true love? Not all stories have a happy ending.

2 Likes

Okay, I’ve finished!

Overall, I thought this was really good, especially for a first story. It was entertaining and it flowed well, and the directing was very nice too. There were a few minor directing/command errors, but nothing major and they sorted themselves out very quickly. So really good job on this! :slight_smile:

I do have a few suggestions for you. First, I would be more consistent with the use of sound in your stories. Decide if you want to use background music or not, then generally stick with that. I noticed you used a lot of sound effects/background noise (as opposed to music), which was really good! However, certain scenes had loud music start at off times; also, there would occasionally be music, and then several scenes would playout without any sounds, and then another scene with sound would pop up much later. As a general rule, it helps the story flow really well if you’re details are consistent!

I would also suggest playing out longer scenes between the time jumps (although, after reading the last chapter, I’m not sure whether or not the quick time jumps are intentional or not!). Using the black screen to cut between scenes is fine, but doing it so frequently can pull a reader out of the immersion they had into your story. It can also come off as kind of choppy. I would suggest having larger time increments skipped, or showing the reader multiple scenes of what’s going on during the same time period as many of the time jumps just follow the two main characters. This is obviously important because hellooo main characters, but it’s always entertaining to get to know the secondary characters as well.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to use pauses! Using @pause for a beat after dialogue will extend the amount of time the reader can see the characters’ reactions to what has been said. So, using pauses and allowing your readers to see the facial expressions and body movements of the other characters would be beneficial.

But, like I said at the beginning, I think this is a really good story that really holds your intention. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of TIME [ LOL get it? like the last chapter? (’: ] and effort into your story, and it has definitely paid off! :slight_smile:

If you have other questions, comments, or anything else, feel free to send me a message!

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Thank you, I’ll start yours now! :slight_smile:

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omg omg omg omg this was sooooo goood! like i’m not even kidding! i have absolutely nothing that i can criticize you on! this was amazing! great job! i love it! not gonna lie i was a big skeptical about a story with “a lot of narration” but you used it beautifully! i especially love that you switched povs in the story! i cant wait for this story to blow up like it deserves to be! also i left you your first bit of fan mail! :two_hearts: this story is very very creative! thanks for doing this r4r with me! :grin::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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aaa thank you so much for your feedback! i will be sure to correct these errors in my script! i really appreciate your feedback and kind words! it means a lot :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

itjgkfdsfk omg this was so nice thank you!!! :hushed: i really appreciate your feedback, and thank YOU for doing this r4r with me!

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Starting now! :slight_smile:

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Okay starting yours also. I’ll message you when done. :blue_heart:

Sounds interesting! I would be willing to do a r4r with you if you’re interested. I unfortunately do not do reviews if that’s okay :heart:
Story: Sorry, Wrong Number
Genre: Thriller
Summary: “And that’s how we’ll get rid of the body. Sorry, wrong number.”
When a text is sent to the wrong person, it leads to a race against time to prevent a murder. TEXT BASED
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5933958626344960

Hey hun I can get past this dressing game.
The last outfit will not let me click it and the first to will not let me pick the second option and the first option takes me back to pick the outfits

Omg OF COURSE, thank you so much for pointing this out! I’ll go in and fix that.

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Thank you and you’re welcome let me know I so want to read more

No worries about not doing reviews, I’ll still be interested in doing the r4r! Thank you for offering to do that :slight_smile: I’ll start it when I finish the review I’m working on!

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Hmmm, did you try exiting the app and trying to read the story again?? That option to choose that look is popping up for me, and I just want to make absolutely sure that it’s an error before I have to republish and make anyone restart the episode!

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I’ll try it could just be a glitch on my end. I’ll let you know if it doesn’t work

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Okay, I’ve finished three of your chapters! (I ran out of passes before I got to the last one). :roll_eyes: You’re off to a good start with your story! It seems like you have the layering down and are learning more about spot directing, which is good.

One thing I would suggest so far is to go through your script once you think you’re finished with a chapter and proofread it! There were some punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors I saw in each of the chapters. These errors happens with everyone, so just be sure to double check the script before you publish :slight_smile:

I would also suggest making your scenes with two characters interacting a little longer, that way readers can learn more about them just through their conversations! The story can get a bit choppy if you don’t spend enough time on each scene, so that’s just something to keep in mind as well.

Otherwise, this is a good start and I am excited to see where you go with it and how you improve over time! :heartbeat:

1 Like