Read my first two chapter drafts~

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1

Hey there! This will be my first story published on Episode and I really want to make sure it’s great!
I’ve finished two chapters for my story named Skyfall, a story centered around three detectives and their struggle to rid New York City of a nasty new drug. Please note that I am still getting a few overlays approved so some objects may be missing in scenes~

http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5944888218681344

2

I read your story and it’s great!! I love it! I would definitely read it when it comes out! It just needs a bit of tweaking in the transitions and layers for overlays but overall, your story is amazing!

3

Thank you so much I appreciate that a lot!! Would you mind telling me the specific parts that could use tweaking if you could?? I’d just like to know which spots I should fix exactly! Thanks!!

4

Story’s really great so far, can’t wait to see what more you have in store.
Just some minor fixes:

  1. There are some instances where the dialogue has these “short” pauses (dunno if it happens because of the code or my internet) but it gives off the doesn’t-run-smoothly vibe
  2. Fix the tail on MC’s speech bubble in the scene with Selene, should be pointing in the right where the MC is and not in the center where Selene is
  3. In the ‘crime’ scene, is there any way for you to shorten the walking animation when getting from the blue powder to the paper? Since the distance isn’t really that far apart, you could simply have the character turn around.
  4. If MC is in Zone 1 and chooses the option to investigate body, which is in Zone 2, MC stays in Zone 1 and just kneels over nothing (or perhaps) the feet
  5. For the choices on deducing where it all started, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but you have “The Living Room” twice on there

That’s about it, have fun writing your stories! :slight_smile:

5

I agree with alytriplex. And for the layering of the powder, I think it should be behind the character. And maybe for the paper (the documents?), when the MC picks it up, since it is now in the MC’s hand you could clear the overlay and when she puts it back down you can put the overlay back sorry if what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense…

6

Thank you so much! Unfortunately the little pauses between dialogue are not coded in but are instead a consequence of having a very long, very complicated script that is required for this kind of story. I’ll be sure to check out the rest of those though!

7

Thank you so much!! I’ll fix that too!