Read my story out now


#1

Hi, my name is raadz, I would really appreciate if everyone would read my new story ‘MONARO VS STORM’ out on episode now. I would appreciate it if you would also give me some feedback and advice on my story.

thank you!
PS - i’ll shout you out at the end of future episode for the appreciation of reading and commenting.


#2

Hello @raadz, this is Sydney the Moderator!

This topic has been moved to Share Feedback since you’re asking for reviews, not read4reads. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics. :wink:

Thanks for reading and have a good day :sunglasses:


#3

I would be happy to do an R4R with you! My story is called The Kingdoms. I’ll check out your story and get back to you!


#4

Sure I will read your story.


#5

I read the first 3 episodes of your story, but I’m only reviewing the first two! By the way, I’m not trying to be rude or hurt you in my review of your story. (I’m a little confused on the name of the female character which is why I have the Rumano/Morano)
I really like the plot line of your story and the sudden twist ending in your first episode. I also think it’s pretty cool that the main character, Rumano/Monaro, is narrating the story from her older self’s perspective. if there’s on thing I would change about the first episode, it would be to add more scenes from the childhood’s of Storm and Monaro/Rumano to hint about how they were being trained by their parents, as well as to develop the backstory of Storm’s and Monaro/Rumano’s relationship to each other.
The second episode is also overall, nicely done. It’s pretty clear that the second episode is really important to showing the different personalities of the two main characters. Your zoom work is also really impressive in this scene (then again I am an amateur writer).
If I had to choose one thing that you could edit in the story, it would be the capitalization of the word “I” in your stories. (Sorry to be a grammar nazi, but for some reason capitalization has always bothered me.)
Overall, I really liked your story and definitely think you should continue!


#6

Sorry for the late response. The story is called Monaro vs Storm ( two surnames) the main characters name is Rumana and the surname is Monaro. but thank you for your honest opinion.


#7