Read the first chapter

I just finished the first chapter for my story (broken tears) and I was wondering if anyone could read it and point out any mistakes I may have made

thanks

I’ll proof read it for you! Have you posted it or are you going to share it with me?

its only the first chapter so ill send it to you, I want to make sure the first chapter is good before I continue

Moved to Find a Writing Partner since you’re looking for a beta-reader. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

I finished the first episode of my new story and before I continue writing it I was wondering if any of you could read it and point out any mistakes I may have made

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I can.

thank you so much

So, where is the story/what’s it called?

its called broken tears and I will send you link in just a sec

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Checking it out now.

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It says “Now to fix my face”. There should be a period, and maybe change it to the narrator saying “Customization time”. The police should be wearing a police uniform, and I’ve noticed that the majority of sentances don’t have periods at the end. When Alyssa says “Your going to like them”, it should be “you’re”.

In all honesty, I truly think that the spelling errors don’t really mind, as they’re really not that noticable once you really get into the story. It’s well writen, the choices are good, I like that you can pick the gender of your love interest, and Alyssa is the best character. Also, love the length. Not a super short episode, and it leaves on a great cliffhanger. It truly is a great story. Let me know when it’s out.

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alright thank you so much I’m gonna get started on the grammer problem right now

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