Reading Your Stories


#1

I want to read more episode, but I’ve finished all my stories. So if you would kindly send your stories through, I’ll read and critic them! If you don’t actually want me to comment on them I’ll just read.
Thanks!


#2

Hey,
this is my first story and I hope you could give it a read!
Title: SHANKED!
Author: feck.b
Instagram: feck.bx (feck.b is my old account and I have no access to it.)
Category: action/adventure
Description: She runs in tears, bumping into a “school friend” stabbing someone. Forced to join in a British gang,What Will Haunt Her Now?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5563581969596416
cover:


#3

Hello! I wouldn’t mind a critic :slight_smile:
Title; Distractors
Author; Little ab
Genre; Action
Description; Ashia is destined as heir of an illegal gun business, plans change when her mom is murdered and she’s kidnapped by three strangers… Question is, who killed her mother?..
Link; http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5544763946303488
Thanks!


#4

Hi there!
This is my first story and I’d love for you to read it and give me some feedback.

Title: H & V: Lie to me
Author: Alexandra Mar
Genre: Drama/Mystery with romantic subplots
Description: After only serving 3 years of a 25 to life sentence, Aiden Suarez is mysteriously released. But wait, what’s that? Oh right, “Aiden Suarez” no longer exists.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6378501067505664


#5

Title; No Choice but Murder
Author : Limelight Stories


#6

Hello there, here is my story there is only three chapters so far but it will be continued. I don’t know if it will be worth your while.
Title: Read my mind
Genre: romance
Also you can find the link on my Instagram @ episode.readmymind. if you can’t find it on episode. Thanks!


#7

Hi, @Neveepy!

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you!

If you are interested in reading a story with several mini-games and where CHOICES REALLY MATTER then, please, give my story a try. I promise, the story will keep you hooked :blush:

My story details:

Name of story: H & V: Fate
Author: Alex Af
Genre: Thriller
Episodes: 4 (completed)
Summary of story: Young ambitious journalist hunting down a powerful tycoon who has made a fortune based on lies. But who really is a villain here? Choices matter.
Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6548486212681728
Instagram: @episode.alex.af


#8

Okay, so I’m just going to comment on it while I read. And I’ll just do the first three chapters.

Episode One
I find the start forced, you need to use proper grammar. I do, however, like how you’ve used the mirror overlay. When your main character first walked into school, you used the most relatable thing, “ew I can’t deal with these people today” or something, and personally, that doesn’t attract me to the story. When you said “Luckily I don’t have to sit with anyone like Tyrone” you could’ve made it more run more smoothly. The line really just felt forced, I feel like you could’ve just cut that line out completely, and just had them fighting. I love your use of overlays! I can’t actually figure it out yet lol, but it looks really good in your story. I also love how you ended it on a cliffhanger. It really hooks the reader into the story.

Episode Two
Diving straight into the deep end right now, you can’t say “Remember when…” to something that happened only a few seconds ago. Or, well you can, but it doesn’t run very smoothly. Orienta should take more time to realize he’s being serious if you want to play that card, maybe add a few pause for a beat
I like how you didn’t use dialog when Orienta’s friends got caught inside the hideout. Mainly how Janelle just did the actions and didn’t say anything. That girl with the strawberry blonde hair didn’t move the entire time and it could look better if she did have motion.

Episode Three
The scene where that girl in red came in could’ve gone on for longer. It had potential to and could’ve helped the readers get a better view of Tyrone’s character. I don’t think you would end a conversation where bad news had been exchanged with, “Cool, bye.”

That’s all! Sorry about all the bad feedback I just tend to focus on the things you can improve, instead of the things you did well. I did really enjoy the first three episodes and I will continue reading it. Good luck with the rest of your writing!


#9

Thank you for this! You can Pm me your feedback please
Title: First Love
Author: Chanell
Genre: Romance
Completion: 4 Chapters (ongoing)
Description: Love, Lies and Betrayl. Chay has to face it all while she finds her first love than loses him to her “best friend”!
Link: ttp://episodeinteractive.com/s/6104294055346176


#10

Thanks, I’ll try to use your feedback in my story to make it better, thanks again!


#11

Would love it if you wanted to read mine? xx

Story Title : The Art of The Deal
Author : GraceX
Episodes :
18 ongoing
Genre:
Action/Comedy/Romance
Link
:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4622710791208960
Description:
Romance, betrayal and secrets. What will happen when Isobel gets involved in the black market of the art world and a sexy gang leader?
Insta: epy.gracex


#12

Episode One
The intro was really well written, I like how you informed us on basically what was going on and introduced the main character really well, right away.
The characters are quite small in the first scene, if you wanted to make the story life like you should change that.

Episode Two
Honestly I don’t think Brady should’ve broken up with her then and there. It would’ve been more effective for the ex-best friends character to have been triumphant in making her cry. If he stayed with her but gave her a look then stormed off that would’ve been much more effective.
WOW how convenient the principal enters at that very second.
In real life it wouldn’t take that long to process a sentence. Unless that’s a part of her character.
The two ‘Goofy’ characters that were introduced in the bushes are a bit over the top. I guess it’s like how sponge bob is now, less funny and more annoying.
Theo also a bit OTT and I really think you could dial it down to make the readers keep reading.

Episode Three
I recommend using conjunctions to make the lines run more smoothly.
Yes, I get that the father helps run an illegal gun dealing business but, why tf would any father shoot as his own daughter.

I don’t have much to critic! It’s an extremely good story and I will continue reading it because I’m really hooked. Everything ran really smoothly apart from a few odd bits but other then that it was close to perfect.

There you go. Thanks! x


#13

Hi @Neveepy,
This is my first story that I’ve worked hard on, and I would like some feedback/opinion on it before I publish it. I waiting on my cover arts atm.

Title: Lost Boy Lost Girl
Author: MrBitPlayer
Genre: Drama
Episodes: 3 (ongoing)
Description: Will a lonely girl next door and troubled boy be able to overcome the challenges in their lives that inevitably bring them closer together? [CC] [+perspectives+]
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6253275339161600


#14

Hi! Thank you for your generous support! Here’s my story.

[DEMON GOD]
Author: E.Z.
Genre: Fantasy
Style: Ink
Chapters: 8 (on going)
Instagram: @e.z.episode
Description: He starved himself for three hundred years in order to abide by a woman’s promise. Everyone in Devildom is waiting for him to die.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4678673313693696


#15

You have pretty good points! I’ll respond because I’d like to lol sooo the characters were small because ya know I needed Daniel to look kid like and they were close to the stairs.
I think about it and I totally agree with the fact that Brady shouldn’t have broken up with Alyssa just yet. The principal entering at the moment was just a coinsidence lol. Jhony has a reason to be in the bushes, Josiah is just plain goofy like literally spongebob lol. And lastly the dad shot at the car to intentionally stop it from leaving, he wants to respect the mothers wishes of Ashia taking over the business and she clearly doesn’t want to.

Thank you for the comments adn taking the time to read it!


#16

Hi,

Story - I am Dating a Liar
Link - http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5425545387311104

Thank you so much


#17

If you ever get to it, it would be great if you’d read H & V: Twisted Truth and give some feedback! Here’s the link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4930114276163584

Thank you! :sparkles:


#18

Hi, this is my story :relaxed: :sparkles:
Please let me feedback and let me know if there are errors, so I can improve. I’d like a review :sparkling_heart:
TITLE : The sound of love
AUTHOR : Anna
STYLE : Ink
GENRE : Romance
DESCRIPTION : A fleeting exchange of looks will change your life forever. Will a popstar win your heart? Customize characters.
EPISODE : 5 (Ongoing)
LINK : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4562507853332480
INSTAGRAM : @thesoundoflove_ep


#19

I’D LOVE TO HAVE THE CRITICS!
Thanks for doing this!

Name of the story: Falling for a Superstar
Episode username: Nishee
Genre: Romance
Description: Nicole unknowingly kisses a Superstar. Revelation,Differences, Acceptance! In the world of fame, can true love win?
No. of published episodes: 8 (ongoing)

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6115422028038144


#20

Here are my stories, you may check them out if you’re interested!

Title: Necessary Evil
Author: Zayen
Description: Over ten years, you’ve checked in and out of a mental asylum because of the supernatural you see. What if they were real? (CC)
Episode: 11 (Ongoing)
Genre: Mystery, Action, Fantasy, Adventure, Thriller
Style: Ink
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5264328993013760

Title: The Darkness Within (Limelight)
Author: Zayen
Description: Tragedy descends the day your ability emerges. Will possessing such ability prove to be a blessing or a curse?
Episode: 7 (Ongoing)
Genre: Fantasy, Action, Thriller, Romance
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5805209858867200