🎃 Ren and Jem’s Proof-Reading Workshop (TEMP CLOSED) 🎃

Thank you! :blush:


What’s your author name on the app?

1 Like

Merlin Romance

Thanks, the name is really cool BTW :yay:

1 Like

:smiley: Well… Merlin is my actual first name. Romance came from genre i prefer.

1 Like

Would anyone else be interested in joining our workshop as a proof-reader? We can make space for 1 more member I believe :nerd_face: :cherry_blossom: If not, then that’s fine :heart:

EDIT: Nevermind it would be too much work to change everything and no I’m not saying this because I have no idea how to re-create the banner haha :sweat_smile: :blob_hearts:

Hi, I just finished proof-reading the first episode of your story and figured I would send you my notes from that in case you want to work on sprucing that up while I work on proofreading episode 2. I’ve broken down my recommendations into grammar, spelling, and capitalization to make it a little easier to follow.

Grammar -


A better way to phrase this would be… “This story uses a relationship point system. Choices matter!”

A better way to phrase this would be, “What am I going to do?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Try to find a hotel.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I know there’s a Viru hotel and a Radisson hotel.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I recommend that you leave now, please”

A better way to phrase this would be, “But I really need a room to stay in.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Isn’t that right, bae?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “…He would never date that attention seeking woman.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Well… he might as well be the one.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I wonder where he is now…”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I heard the hotel is fully booked.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “That’s where I am!”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I just want to see him with my own eyes at least once.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Did I just hear a crowd screaming?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I must still be tired.”

A better way to phrase this would be, “I mean you no harm miss. Can I please just stay here for a moment?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “And why is there a crowd of screaming women?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Why should you?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Don’t say anything stupid.”

“This is not how I imagined meeting him would be.”

“Yeah, look, I’m sorry for how I reacted before.”

“How long are you staying?”

“How am I supposed to carry on now?”

“I really need to shower.”

“Global warming is really ruining our winters.”

“I really need to find a job.”

“Maybe the next place has something to offer me.”

“Another diner turned me down.”

“Try the coffee shop near us.”

“I got a job but I still need to find my own place.”

“Should I ask for some help?”

“Try the suburbs.”

“And life is nothing but a struggle for me.”

“I’m used to slippery roads.”

“Where are you from? Siberia?”

“You’re literally wearing a coffee shop uniform!”

“I was wondering, do you live somewhere nearby?”

“Because the next stop is mine…”

“Are we in the suburbs?”

“It’s nothing special but, hey, at least it’s in a decent building.”

“I still have a room booked at a hotel.”

“They still have a Christmas tree in the lobby here?”

“And you kind of promised to show me your Deluxe suite.”

“If I didn’t need a full shift of workers today, I would fire you right now.”

“Don’t say anything stupid.”

Will be continued in another post…

1 Like

Here are the mistakes in spelling and capitalization that I noticed…


On many occasions throughout your story, you did not capitalize the word, “I.” This sort of distracted from the flow of your story so just going through your episodes and fixing this capitalization error wherever it appears will make a big difference! Here are some examples…


“That’s” is spelled incorrectly.

“What’s” should be changed to “what”

“though” should be changed to “thought”

“wont” should be changed to “won’t”

This should be spelled “vice-a-versa”

This should be changed to “Aww… these people here seem to know the city.”

“though” should be changed to “thought”

This should be changed to, “I would have sent you home anyways.”

I also just wanted to let you know that I did find your storyline a little hard to follow and that I noticed that your spot directing was a bit off in a couple of places. Just fixing these two things up along with the grammar/spelling/syntax will really help your story flow better! Let me know if you have any questions about it at all. You’re doing a great job so far :blush::+1:

1 Like

I’ve actually never thought about capitalizing the word “I” before. I guess it’s just something i even didn’t know. As english is not my first language then i must say i had pretty small mistakes :smiley: I mostly missed “a” and “the”. Thanks!

Yeah, you did a great job on it so far! I totally understand why the word “I” would be hard to catch! A lot of English speakers don’t even capitalize their “I’s” because it’s the “trendy” thing to do nowadays :joy: In a story though, I always think it looks best when people capitalize that word.

1 Like

:smiley: Yeah i can’t remember my english teacher saying anything about capitalizing “I” or even when she did we still never used it. And i had the best english teacher ever. Of course as i live in a northern part of Europe then we studied British english. I don’t know where are you from and is there any big differences? I know the pronounciation is quite different from American/Canadian english.

1 Like

I’m from America! I don’t know if there’s any huge differences but I’m sure there are probably a few smaller ones. I think it’s just this “trend” of not capitalizing the word “I” that really has everyone confused on whether to teach it or not lol

1 Like

Ren, you’re on fire :fire: :100: :clapping: :sparkling_heart:

1 Like

thank you!! :blush:

1 Like

Title: The stars have colors
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance
By: Shahar
Description: Your life was made of two colors: black and white. Until one day you meet someone that shows you the world in a colorful way [LL\CC]
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452449138933760
How many chapter you’d like to proof read: All of them if you can ^^

Why you’d like your story to be proof read: Well mostly because English is not my first language and I’m really anoxious when it comes to English mistakes

Review Type: I don’t mind ^^

Password: HalloweenMonsterEatsVeggies

@writerren do you want to take on proof-reading @shaharPie 's story or should I? :blob_sun:

1 Like

I can take it the request but it may take me a while to finish my current request and read all the chapters, if that’s okay :blush:

1 Like

Yeah that’s fine, we take our time with this, going slow is important so you don’t overwork yourself :blob_sun:

They said:

You can decide how many chapters you’d like to proof-read. We’ll put the review as public :blob_sun:

1 Like

Okay, then! I can take your request @shaharPie :blush: I will proofread your entire story. I’ll send you my notes after each episode I read though so that you can work on making any changes as I go instead of all at once when I’m completely finished.

1 Like

How many chapters do you have atm? (the number)