Ren’s Review Thread ❤️🖤 (CLOSED FOR NOW)

[writerren]

Hey, everyone! I currently have a bit of extra time on my hands so I’ve decided to help you all out and offer my services as a story reviewer. I will only be reviewing the first episode of your story (published or unpublished) because that is what sets the tone about the story’s future in a reader’s mind. I will be assessing things like your plot, character development, diversity, directing, grammar/spelling, etc. I will review both published and unpublished stories!

Here are some rules for requesting…

1. Please do not request a review just to gain more reads on your story. This is meant to help you improve your story, not gain reads.
2. Please actually use at least some of my pointers. I will put a lot of consideration into each review and would appreciate if you would use the help you requested.
3. Please know that I have a life outside of Episode and that I can be a slower reader. Your reviews may take a few days, but I will get them to you. Rushing me will only prolong your wait because I don’t operate well under stress.
4. PLEASE only request a review if you can handle constructive criticism. This is meant to HELP you, not disparage you in any way.
5. Please do not attack me if you disagree with the review. These will be based on my opinions which you have chosen to hear by requesting on this thread.
6. I will be offering easygoing (not too critical), truthful (honest but not too harsh), or brutally honest (extremely critical). Please select whichever one you can handle and use best.
7. Please fill out the form in its entirety and include the blurred password (winter) in your post to verify that you have read these rules.

Please fill out the form below for a review of your first episode:

Story Title:

Author Name:

Story Genre:

Story Description:

Severity of Review (Easygoing, Truthful, Brutally Honest):

Link to your story:

Where would you like your review posted (Instagram or the forums or both):

Small Cover (optional):

Password:

I will only be accepting three reviews at a time so I won’t feel rushed on the ones I do take. Once I accept your review, you will be placed on the wait list. Once the wait list is full, I will close the shop for the time being. Reviews will be posted on here, on my Instagram (@writer.ren.episode), or both. If you request for your review to be posted on Instagram, please include your username so I can tag you in it!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you all will request soon! Also, if anyone is interested in joining this shop and doing reviews with me as a joint effort, DM me!

Here are three other threads you might want to check out if you are a new-ish writer!..

Help Threads

Promote your story and find R4R partners here -
Promoting: All That Remains / R4Rs are OPEN!

Get directing help here -
Ren's Directing Help Thread 😊

Get your story proofread here -
🎃 Ren and Jem’s Proof-Reading Workshop (TEMP CLOSED) 🎃

Wait List:

CLOSED

Recently Reviewed:

1. The stars have colors by @shaharPie - 91%
2. ethereal by @line123462 - 80%
3. Shado by @Roy - 83%
4. Equilibrium by @Eva_Diva1 - 90%
5. No resistance by @lisiaaa.k - 78%
6. The Spotlight by @Jess_epi - 86%
7. Dirty Deeds by @StormyWrites - 88%
8. Lost Summer Love by @TamiRose - 84%
9. Hidden Luna by @Jess2112 - 73%
10. Love Indeed by Razan Jalloul - 70%
11. Grandmas Grandbabbies by Snowy_episode - 81%
12. Beautiful Scars by K. Jeanette - 86%
13. Deadly Secrets: Fangs of Love by @TamiRose - 86%

[JemU776]

if anyone is interested in joining this shop and doing reviews with me as a joint effort, DM me!

eek if only I wasn’t a soon to be reviewer on epyxmagic, I’d go for this

[writerren]

aww lol that would have been so cool! but i’m so excited to see your amazing work on that page when it’s up and running!

[Bithi]

Hey, here is my story. And I would love to hear a review from you. Thanks in advance.
Story Name: SOLO
Author: Bithi
Genre: Fantasy
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 3
Description: Some mysterious powers, an undeniable tragedy, colliding with destiny, will June be capable of changing the orbit of her fate?
Severity of Review (Easygoing, Truthful, Brutally Honest): Brutally Honest
Story Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4645081272614912
Where would you like your review posted (Instagram or the forums or both): Both
Others: Limited CC. Only timed and premium choices matter.
Password: autumn
Story Cover:

[shaharPie]

Thank you for doing this. I’d love to hear your opinion about my story
Title: The stars have colors
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance
By: Shahar
Description: Your life was made of two colors: black and white. Until one day you meet someone that shows you the world in a colorful way [LL\CC]
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452449138933760
Severity of Review: Truthful
Where would you like your review posted (Instagram or the forums or both): Both
Password - Autumn
Cover:

[line123462]

my story is not published. and I like to note before you read that the story is not grammar check. so I know there is spell mistakes and missing punktions. I will do that before I publish the story. but I wanna know if I have to change it up first. because I dont wanna spend a couple of hours on grammar if I end up re writhing the scene

Story Title: ethereal

Author Name: line123462

Story Genre: fantasy

Story Description: Walking home from work you find an unconscious man. While waiting for the ambulance you dont see a little magic creature sneaking into your bag.

Severity of Review (Easygoing, Truthful, Brutally Honest): truthfully.

Link to your story:

The Best Stories Are Worth Sharing: ethereal

Where would you like your review posted (Instagram or the forums or both): just the forum. or private message if I can have that

Its temporary. I wanna draw one but dont know how it shall look

Password: [quote=“writerren, post:1, topic:305097”]
(autumn)
[/quote]

[writerren]

Your review has been accepted and should be finished in a few days!

[writerren]

Your review has been accepted and should be finished in a couple of days!

[writerren]

Hi, your story details aren’t showing up on this post. Could you please try sending the request again?

[line123462]

I am sorry I think I know what happen. it had a problem with loading the picture so I copied the text and reloaded the page. but I most have not copied it properly and just had the copy from before with the text I needed to write. I will edit it now

[line123462]

I have updated it

[writerren]

Your request has been accepted and your review should be done within the next week

[line123462]

thank you

[writerren]

This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review will reflect that.

Plot (8/10): Based on only the first chapter, I found the plot of this story to be very intriguing which is great! I really found myself wanting to know more about June’s past and what the other characters have in mind for her future. I felt horrible when June’s boyfriend cheated on her. However, I think that her sadness afterwards and the way it brought on the rain did a great job of introducing some main aspects of her character. I would have loved to see even more interaction between her and the other characters to get a little better idea of how she relates to others.

Directing (9/10): Your directing was great! I didn’t notice any points where spot directing was off and the characters didn’t randomly pop up on the screen at all. Your walking animations looked great as well. I loved your use of overlays in the beginning. None of your speech bubbles were ever off screen and they seemed to be placed well. Your zooms and transitions were smooth, allowing the story to flow from one scene to the other seamlessly. My one recommendation is to make sure your animations all fit the dialogue. At times, animations did not seem to match what the characters were saying.

Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (6/10): Here are a few grammatical errors I noticed while reading the first episode. I hope these help!

When June thinks, “Whenever I stand hear, see the ocean waves -“ … “hear” should be changed to “here.”

When June says, “Before running, I should have think…”

You can change this sentence to, “I should have thought before I ran.” This will help this sentence flow better.

When June thinks, “I’m feeling frozen…”

A better way to write this sentence would be, “I feel frozen!”

When Ava says, “Don’t worry… All you need to do is have to know yourself better…”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Don’t worry… All you need to do is get to know yourself better.”

When June says, “Where the hell is you going?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “Where the hell are you going?”

When June says, “With whom she is talking?”

A better way to phrase this would be, “With whom is she talking?”

Diversity (7/10): Based on just the pilot chapter, I would have liked to see a bit more diversity in the main characters. There was a good amount of diversity in background characters though.

Character Development (8/10): Based off the pilot chapter, a reader can learn a good deal of information about June. Between the realization that her boyfriend was cheating on her to the fact that you showed her working in a bakery/café, readers gained some insight into who she is and what she does. I would have loved to see more development of her best friend’s character though since the two of them are so close.

Length of Chapter (8/10): This chapter was a nice length! It took me about 12 minutes to read it. Maybe aim to make your future chapters somewhere between 12 and 15 minutes.

Choices (5/10): This chapter didn’t have many choices at all. Maybe, in the future, add a few more meaningful choices to your episodes. If you wish for your story to be based less on the readers’ choices, maybe let them know in an author’s note.

Use of Sounds and Music (10/10): I loved your use of music and sounds! They always seemed to correspond well with what was occurring in the story. Great job!

Genre Fit (10/10): This story was placed in the Fantasy genre and definitely belonged there!

Story Description (9/10): The description gave a great indication of what the readers would see once they started your story. It really sparked my interested in your story from the beginning. Maybe add in the fact that there is some customization offered if you have room.

Overall Score (80/100): 80%

Thank you for requesting. I hope this review has helped you! I really did enjoy reading your story and hope you will continue with it in the future. If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them. Also, since you requested for your review to be posted on Instagram as well, can you please message me your username?

[Bithi]

Believe me, I was looking for something like this. Thanks for reviewing it so beautifully. I’ll correct the mistakes soon. I wrote and experimented and conducted it myself. So, I knew there must be something wrong, though I tried to perfect it. Anyway, thanks a lot.

[Bithi]

For the choices, I want this story to have minimal choice options. Because I want to develop the story as I want it. There are some choices, that will affect the story.
Thanks for your advice. I will let readers know about it.
As for diversity, I have tried to include some variations.
Still, there are some main characters to introduce.
Other than that, I will note it.
My instagram: @thebee.creates

[writerren]

Okay, great! I’m glad this review was helpful for you! I’ll post it on my Instagram soon

[writerren]

This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “truthful,” this review will reflect that.

Review for - THE STARS HAVE COLORS by Shahar

Plot (9/10): Based on only the first chapter, I found the plot of this story to be so unique and interesting! I love the whole concept of some people seeing colors from birth and other seeing black and white until they find their soulmate. I also really love the MC’s character. I honestly found myself relating to her in so many ways. Great job coming up with this fascinating storyline and great main character!

Directing (9/10): Your directing was so good! I didn’t notice any points where spot directing was off and the characters didn’t randomly pop up on the screen at any time. Your walking animations looked perfect as well. I loved your use of filters, clothing and character details to convey the idea of black/white versus color. I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. One thing I noticed was that a few of your speech bubbles seemed to be placed in locations where they might appear offscreen on certain devices. Maybe just go over and check these to be sure. Your zooms and transitions were very smooth and eye catching, allowing the story to flow well from one scene to the next.

Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (9/10): Your spelling, sentence structure, and grammar were all great! I really didn’t notice any major errors at all so good job on that!

Diversity (9/10): Based on just the pilot chapter, you had a nice amount of representation in your cast of main characters. There was a good amount of diversity in background characters too.

Character Development (9/10): Based off the pilot chapter, a reader can learn quite a bit about the character they will be playing as. There was a lot of detail given about the MC and how she enjoys writing, doesn’t want to simply be “the rich girl,” and wishes to see in color more than anything. There was also a nice amount of information given about her friends and family. This helped me learn more about the people who have shaped the MC into who she is today.

Length of Chapter (9/10): This chapter was a great length! It took me about 15 minutes to read it. I believe most readers like when authors aim to make their episodes this length so you did a great job with that.

Choices (8/10): This chapter contained a couple of choices that will impact the story in the future. I really like that you’re using the point system. I appreciated the overlays you used to signify to the reader how many points they have earned/lost for their choices.

Use of Sounds and Music (9/10): You had a great usage of music and sounds! They really helped add to the feeling of your scenes and never felt excessive or out of place.

Genre Fit (10/10): This story was placed in the Romance genre and definitely belonged there! The entire story is based on a society where certain people can only see in color after meeting their soulmate which I think is so interesting. This seems like a great romance story without being cliche!

Story Description (10/10): The description gave a great indication of what to expect from your story. It also did a great job of catching my attention and drawing me in to your story.

Overall Score (91/100): 91%

Thank you for requesting from Ren’s Review Thread! I hope this review has helped you! I have to say that I was extremely impressed by your story. I honestly wish I had stumbled upon it sooner. I’ll be reading more and I can’t wait to see what happens! If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them. Also, since you requested for your review to be posted on Instagram as well, can you please send me your username?

[shaharPie]

Thank you so much for the review! My username is shahar.episode ^^

[writerren]

Of course! Your review has now been posted on my Instagram too