This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review will reflect that.
Review for - Lost Summer Love by TamiRose
Plot (9/10): I really liked the plot of this story so far! It was very interesting and engaging and had me wanting to see what kind of drama would occur next. I especially liked the part where Sierra finally stood up to her bullies. That was such a powerful moment and it really had me rooting for her.
Directing (7/10) Your directing was pretty good! I didn’t notice any times where spot directing was off but there were two instances where I noticed that characters randomly popped up on the screen. Here are screenshots of them…
Popping up
In the first screenshot, it appeared as if the two girls in the background randomly popped up during the scene. In the second one, it looked like Amelia popped up in the middle of the scene. This might have been a glitch on Episode’s part because my app has been acting up lately but I would recommend just going over the episode to make sure that you used the & symbol before the transition instead of the @ symbol afterwards.
Your walking animations were mostly smooth which helped maintain the flow of your story. There was one spot where your character did not do a talking animation because she was still finishing a walking one. Here is a screenshot of that…
Your zooms and transitions were well executed and didn’t glitch. Your speech bubbles were all placed in the right spot and never blocked any of the character’s faces. However, there was one instance where I think having a “narrator” speech bubble would be better than a “talking” speech bubble. Here is a screenshot of that spot…
Speech bubble
I think it would probably make more sense to have Sierra narrate this instead of say it.
All in all, just making these little changes will help make your directing look amazing!
Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (7/10): Your spelling, grammar, and sentence structure were executed fairly well. There were a few instances where apostrophes were missing from words indicating possession or were placed in the wrong location so just checking these over will definitely help. There were also a few grammar and syntax errors which I have taken screenshots of and placed below…
Spelling/Grammar/Syntax
A better way to phrase this would be, “Can I… can I just show you how my life goes from bad to GREAT then back to being shi**y?”
A better way to phrase this would be, “They do not even know how to deal with their own damn problems…”
A better way to phrase this would be, “He’d better not still have feelings for her.”
A better way to phrase this would be, “Wow. I want no part of this.”
Making these few little adjustments will definitely help maintain the flow of your story better!
Diversity (10/10): Based on just the pilot chapter, I was very happy with the amount of diversity in this story! There was a great amount of representation so good job on that!
Character Development (8/10): Based off the first chapter, a reader can learn a nice amount of information about Sierra, the main character. From the interactions she has with the other characters to her internal thoughts, we learn a lot about her past and her present behavior. I really appreciated how she developed just in this one chapter from a quiet, shy girl who kind of let others step all over her to actually asserting herself a bit. However, I would have liked to have learned just a little more information about the other characters such as Kelsey.
Length of Chapter (9/10): This chapter was a great length! It took me approximately 20 minutes to read it. Personally, I have seen that most readers appreciate when authors aim to make their episodes about 15-20 minutes so you did a nice job keeping it within a reasonable time frame that readers will want to continue.
Choices (6/10): There weren’t really any choices in this episode. Maybe adding a few to this chapter will help readers become more engaged in your story. I also understand that some authors want their stories to progress in a specific way though.
Use of Sounds and Music (8/10): Your use of sounds and music in this episode was nice! None of your music/sound effects seemed out of place or excessive. I would have liked maybe a few more scenes to have music or sounds in them to add to the feeling of your story though.
Genre Fit (10/10): This story was placed in the Romance genre and it definitely belonged there. Based off the pilot chapter alone, there were many indications that this story will lead to the progression of crush into a romance.
Story Description (10/10): Your story description is great and gave me some insight as to what to expect from your story. The ideas of “crazy love” and drama both really sparked my interest and made me want to see what your story would be like.
Overall Score (84/100): 84%
Thank you for requesting on my thread. I hope this review has helped you! I can’t wait to see where your story will go on this app! If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them 
