This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review will reflect that.
Review for - Deadly Secrets: Fangs of Love by @TamiRose
Plot (8/10): So far, the plot of your story is very interesting and definitely caught my attention. It really had me wondering what exactly was going on with Delilah and why all the other characters seemed to know something she didn’t. One thing I would like to note though is that your plot seemed a little choppy in your first episode. I would recommend maybe lengthening certain scenes that involved the other characters talking about Delilah to slow the pace up and give your readers just a little more information about where this story will go from here. I do, however, think this plot is a nice, unique spin on your typical werewolf/vampire story so great job on that!
Directing (8/10): Your directing was executed quite well! Your spot directing was on point and really helped your scenes look a lot more smooth. I did notice one scene where the characters randomly popped up on screen. The instance where this happened was when Mariel and Lucca were talking in the flashback. Just make sure you have them spot directed with the ‘&’ symbol before your @transition instead of after with the ‘@‘ symbol. Another thing I noticed was that, at times, your speech bubbles seemed out of place for the character who was currently speaking. Just going over your scenes and making sure these bubbles correspond to the right characters will really help this. Your zooms all looked very smooth in the first episode which helped me focus better on what was occurring in each scene. All of the animations you used fit the emotions your characters were currently experiencing and there was a nice variety of them used. All of your walking animations looked great too. I would also like to point out that you did a great job with directing your overlays! This really helped advance your plot and the overall impact of your story.
Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (10/10): I honestly didn’t notice any errors in your spelling, syntax, or grammar. This really helped me focus on the plot of your story instead of spending my energy deciphering mistakes. Great job on this!
Diversity (10/10): You had a great amount of representation among your cast of characters. This definitely helped your story seem more realistic and will appeal to a large audience of readers. Keep it up!
Character Development (7/10): The character development in this story was done fairly well so far. As a reader, I got a pretty good feel for Delilah’s personality just by reading the first episode. This really helped me connect with her and understand her feelings a bit better. I do wish that there had been a little more development of the other characters, however, to help me really feel connected to your storyline. I felt as if I really didn’t know anything about anyone other than Delilah and a little bit about Bella. Some mystery is good to have and maintain until the secrets of your story unfold but this felt like a little too much mystery right now.
Length of Chapters (7/10): I found the first chapter of your story to be a little on the shorter side since it took me only about 12 minutes to read it. Personally, I have seen that most readers appreciate when authors make their episodes about 15-20 minutes so, if you can, I would recommend making your episodes a little longer from here on out.
Choices (7/10): There were a few choices in your first episode aside from just dressing games which I definitely appreciated. I wish that these choices had a little more impact on the plot though to make your story more interactive for your readers. In future episodes, I would definitely recommend adding more choices that matter.
Use of Sounds and Music (9/10): There was a good amount of sounds and music used in this story to further the plot and increase the readers’ immersion in your storyline. The music always fit the scene it was played over which was great. One thing I did notice was that, between the scene where Lucca is on the school campus and the flashback scene there was a little glitch in the music. This could have just been an Episode glitch since I know the music feature has been acting up recently but I would definitely just go over these scenes and double check this.
Genre Fit (10/10): This story was placed in the Fantasy genre and it definitely belonged there! All of the elements of it screamed fantasy and I loved every bit of it.
Story Description (10/10): Your story description accurately conveys what your readers can expect from your story. It is error-free in terms of grammar, syntax, and spelling and completely makes sense. It definitely drew me in to your story because I truly wanted to see what would happen when Delilah discovers the truth.
Overall Score (86/100) - 86%
Thank you for requesting on my thread. I hope this review has helped you! I really did enjoy reading this story and hope you will continue with it in the future. I definitely see a lot of potential here for growth as your storyline is an interesting one and your characters were very likable. If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them 
