Thank you so much. I couldn’t have progressed like I have without help from people like you on here. 
Very much appreciate that! 
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This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review will reflect that.
Review for - Hidden Luna by Jess
Plot (6/10): In all honesty, I really could not understand what the plot of your story is just based on this first chapter. It seemed like a mix of random, chopped up events occurring to the main character instead of ones that flowed together to make a cohesive storyline. Maybe sprucing this up and considering which scenes are really needed to further the plot and which are not will help add some clarity to your storyline.
Directing (5/10) Your directing could maybe use some fixing up. Your spot directing was good in most scenes, however, in the scene where Lola and Alexis are standing outside by their car, they look way too big compared to the house behind them. Just working on scaling them better compared to their surroundings will help make this scene look better. There were also two instances where I noticed that characters randomly popped up on the screen. Here are screenshots of them…
Screenshots
In the first photo, Lola popped up on the screen. In the second one, Lola and Alexis and the car overlay all popped up on screen. Going through your script and making sure you placed them before your transition using the & symbol instead of after the transition with the @ symbol will really help this!
Your walking animations were smooth which helped maintain the flow of your story.
Your zooms and transitions were well executed and didn’t glitch at all. Your use of overlays in your introduction was also very good! At times your speech bubbles were pointing in the wrong direction, however. In the scene where Lola talks to the boy she just met in the campus gardens, the speech bubbles sometimes pointed to the wrong character than the one who was currently speaking. In addition, in this particular scene, the animations seemed to be a little off. Even though your characters were talking, they were not doing talking animations. This looked a little awkward and made your story a bit hard to follow at this point. Just changing these animations to better fit the scene will help you out a lot.
All in all, just making these little changes will help make your directing look amazing!
Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (9/10): Your spelling, grammar, and sentence structure were executed well. There were a few instances where apostrophes were missing from words indicating possession. Other than that, there were no major errors that distracted from your story.
Diversity (5/10): Based on just the pilot chapter, I really wish there had been more representation among your cast of characters. There really weren’t any differences among them in regards to race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. While some customization was allowed, this does not necessarily count as diversity.
Character Development (6/10): Based off the first chapter, a reader can learn a decent amount of information about Lola, the main character. We learned about how she can’t let anyone else know why her eyes are purple, that she lives with an abusive father, and that she has a plan to escape. However, I wish we had been given a few more clues about her personality through her interactions with others. Also, I wish we had gotten to learn more about Alexis, where she came from, and what she’s like. Just adding more details about these characters through their interactions with each other will really help make them easier to connect with.
Length of Chapter (5/10): This chapter was an okay length. It took me only about 10 minutes to read it. Personally, I have seen that most readers appreciate when authors aim to make their episodes about 15-20 minutes so, if you can, I would recommend making this episode a little longer to really attract their attention.
Choices (6/10): There weren’t really any choices in this episode. We only really had the option to choose our outfit, hair, and makeup which was nice but doesn’t really affect the story. Also, in your dressing game, I would recommend adding names for each of your outfit choices instead of just putting, “outfit 1,” “outfit 2,” etc. This will make it easier for your readers to know which outfit they’ll choosing. Also, maybe adding a few more choices here and there will help your readers become more immersed in your story.
Use of Sounds and Music (5/10): You didn’t use any sounds or music in this episode. While I understand that some readers do not like to read stories with sound, it almost felt as if something was lacking. At least adding some music in your introduction of the characters will really help improve the feeling of your story.
Genre Fit (8/10): This story was placed in the Romance genre and I honestly can’t tell if it belonged there or not based on just the pilot chapter. Based off the pilot chapter alone, there were a few indications that this story will lead to a romance but I’m not completely sure.
Story Description (10/10): Your story description is great and gave me some insight as to what to expect from your story. I really like the last line about it maybe being better to be a lone wolf sometimes. This really helped gain my attention and drew me in to your story.
Overall Score (73/100): 73%
Thank you for requesting on my thread. I hope this review has helped you! I hope this didn’t come across as too harsh or discouraging. I know that you’re currently working on revamping this story so I wanted to let you know everything I noticed to help you do so! If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them. If you would still like this review to be posted on my Instagram, please send me your username so I can tag you 
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Thank you so much for this! My username is jess.epyyy
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This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review of your pilot chapter will reflect that.
Review for - Grandmas Grandbabies by Snowy_episode
Plot (8/10): I like the plot of your story so far! The idea of the MC and her grandfather entering the competition together to try to save her grandmother is honestly so sweet. It definitely made me want to continue reading to see if they would be able to do it or not.
Directing (8/10) Your directing was executed very well! While a little bit basic in nature, it was relatively error-free. Your spot directing was great and I didn’t notice any points where the characters randomly popped up on screen at all. Your speech bubbles were always placed in positions that did not block any characters’ faces and that corresponded with the correct character who was speaking. Your zooms all looked very smooth which helped me focus better on what was occurring in each scene. All of the animations you used fit the emotions your characters were currently feeling and there was a nice variety of them used. All of your walking animations looked great as well. One thing I did notice that seemed off were your transitions in the first few scenes that showed people’s reactions to the news about the show. Sometimes, they seemed to glitch so just going over these and making sure you put the transitions in the correct spot will really help the flow of your first few scenes. One another thing that I noticed was that your suitcases overlay in the airport scene seemed to pop up on screen. Just make sure that this is written in your script with the & symbol before your transition instead of the @ symbol after your transition.
Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (8/10): Your spelling, grammar, and sentence structure were all executed fairly well! Here are a couple of little errors that I noticed…
When the narrator says… “Or it was, until… marcus dropped a bomb.”
The name “Marcus” should be capitalized.
When Avery says… “I’d say that you’re crazy and admit you to hospital with grandma,”
A better way to phrase this would be, “I’d say that you’re crazy and admit you to the hospital with grandma…”
When Avery explains why Marcus calls her “aviator,” in one dialogue box the plural version of the word is used but in others, the singular version is used.
Also, one thing I wanted to note is that the title of your story is missing an apostrophe in “Grandma’s.”
Other than these little errors, you did a great job in this aspect!
Diversity (8/10): Based on just the pilot chapter, I wish there had a little been more representation among your main characters. There was a good amount of diversity among your background characters though. One other thing I wanted to note is that Avery’s lip color appears a little too light for her skin tone. You don’t necessarily have to change this or anything, it’s just a little note.
Character Development (7/10): Based on the first episode of your story, a reader can learn a decent amount of information about Avery, the MC. We learn that she truly cares about her grandmother based off the fact that she worries about paying for her medical care and decides to enter the competition to try to help pay for it all. We also learn quite a bit about her relationship with her grandfather which really helps illustrate her personality. I wish we had learned a little more information about her grandfather and grandmother though based on their interactions with each other and other characters.
Length of Chapter (7/10): This chapter was a decent length! It took me about 12 minutes to read it. Personally, I have seen that most readers appreciate when authors aim to make their episodes about 15-20 minutes so, if possible, maybe adding one more scene somewhere will help gain your readers’ attention a little better.
Choices (8/10): There were a few choices in this episode and they did have impact on the storyline. I really appreciated this as it helped me feel more involved in your story right away. I like that you will be using points to show how well a reader is doing in the competition. This will definitely help draw more readers in to your story.
Use of Sounds and Music (9/10): Your use of sounds and music in this story was great! They always complimented the events that were occurring in your story at that particular time and never seemed excessive or out of place. Awesome job!
Genre Fit (9/10): This story was placed in the Comedy genre and I believe it belonged there. Based off the pilot chapter alone, there were quite a few indications that this story will be a funny and entertaining one. I just wish there were a few more indications of this fact right from the beginning.
Story Description (9/10): I really liked your story description! It was suspenseful and truly made me want to read your story to see if the MC succeeds at saving her grandmother or not. One thing to note though is that it doesn’t really hint toward a comedy story but seems more like the description of a drama story. Maybe lightening it up just a bit will help this.
Overall Score (81/100) 81%
Thank you for requesting from me. I hope this review has helped you! I truly enjoyed this story and can’t wait to see where you will take it in the future. If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them. This review will also be posted on my Instagram, @writer.ren.episode, very soon
Hey,
I know you closed it for now, but I really want to request here and I don’t have time during the week to request. Maybe I can request sooner? Only if it’s okay. 
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Hi, you can comment your request on here now if you like and you’ll be added to the waitlist first as soon as I open again
I have a request! Pls do it!
Request
Story Title: Fame and Glory
Author Name: Samantha
Story Genre: Romance/ drama
Story Description: I stepped on the red carpet and became famous. I wanted everything under one condition - to fall in love at the end, not at the beginning.
Others: LL, CC, choices matter
Severity of Review (Easygoing, Truthful, Brutally Honest):
Brutally Honest
Link to your story:
http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4628578726379520
Where would you like your review posted (Instagram or the forums or both): both
forum, but if you want you can post it also on Instagram
Password: fall
It’s my first story!
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Hi, everyone. I will be closing this thread and not accepting any requests until further notice because I have joined @ epyxmagic on Instagram as a reviewer! Please do not request on here for now as your request will not be accepted. Here is the link for the group’s Instagram if you want to request on there…
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bumping to keep the thread open but i’m still not taking review requests here yet…
Hey, everyone. I have time to take just one request on here before my school schedule gets really hectic with finals. If anyone would like to grab that one spot, please fill out the form above. The first person to do this correctly will get the review
oooo meeeeee🤩
Title: Deadly Secrets: Fangs of Love
Author: TamiRose
Genre: Fantasy
Description: A vampire loves her. Her best friend’s a Werewolf. Her parents? Magically royal. Only one thing. Delilah doesn’t even know. Her world, is not as she knows. Will she accept fate?
Review: Brutally Honest
Deadly Secrets
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You got it! Your review should be done within a few days
This shop is now temporarily closed again.
Thank you
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This review is based on my personal opinion and is meant to provide the author with honest feedback to help them improve their story. This review is not meant to hurt anyone’s feelings or discourage them from writing. Since you requested it to be “brutally honest,” this review will reflect that.
Review for - Deadly Secrets: Fangs of Love by @TamiRose
Plot (8/10): So far, the plot of your story is very interesting and definitely caught my attention. It really had me wondering what exactly was going on with Delilah and why all the other characters seemed to know something she didn’t. One thing I would like to note though is that your plot seemed a little choppy in your first episode. I would recommend maybe lengthening certain scenes that involved the other characters talking about Delilah to slow the pace up and give your readers just a little more information about where this story will go from here. I do, however, think this plot is a nice, unique spin on your typical werewolf/vampire story so great job on that!
Directing (8/10): Your directing was executed quite well! Your spot directing was on point and really helped your scenes look a lot more smooth. I did notice one scene where the characters randomly popped up on screen. The instance where this happened was when Mariel and Lucca were talking in the flashback. Just make sure you have them spot directed with the ‘&’ symbol before your @transition instead of after with the ‘@‘ symbol. Another thing I noticed was that, at times, your speech bubbles seemed out of place for the character who was currently speaking. Just going over your scenes and making sure these bubbles correspond to the right characters will really help this. Your zooms all looked very smooth in the first episode which helped me focus better on what was occurring in each scene. All of the animations you used fit the emotions your characters were currently experiencing and there was a nice variety of them used. All of your walking animations looked great too. I would also like to point out that you did a great job with directing your overlays! This really helped advance your plot and the overall impact of your story.
Spelling/Sentence Structure/Grammar (10/10): I honestly didn’t notice any errors in your spelling, syntax, or grammar. This really helped me focus on the plot of your story instead of spending my energy deciphering mistakes. Great job on this!
Diversity (10/10): You had a great amount of representation among your cast of characters. This definitely helped your story seem more realistic and will appeal to a large audience of readers. Keep it up!
Character Development (7/10): The character development in this story was done fairly well so far. As a reader, I got a pretty good feel for Delilah’s personality just by reading the first episode. This really helped me connect with her and understand her feelings a bit better. I do wish that there had been a little more development of the other characters, however, to help me really feel connected to your storyline. I felt as if I really didn’t know anything about anyone other than Delilah and a little bit about Bella. Some mystery is good to have and maintain until the secrets of your story unfold but this felt like a little too much mystery right now.
Length of Chapters (7/10): I found the first chapter of your story to be a little on the shorter side since it took me only about 12 minutes to read it. Personally, I have seen that most readers appreciate when authors make their episodes about 15-20 minutes so, if you can, I would recommend making your episodes a little longer from here on out.
Choices (7/10): There were a few choices in your first episode aside from just dressing games which I definitely appreciated. I wish that these choices had a little more impact on the plot though to make your story more interactive for your readers. In future episodes, I would definitely recommend adding more choices that matter.
Use of Sounds and Music (9/10): There was a good amount of sounds and music used in this story to further the plot and increase the readers’ immersion in your storyline. The music always fit the scene it was played over which was great. One thing I did notice was that, between the scene where Lucca is on the school campus and the flashback scene there was a little glitch in the music. This could have just been an Episode glitch since I know the music feature has been acting up recently but I would definitely just go over these scenes and double check this.
Genre Fit (10/10): This story was placed in the Fantasy genre and it definitely belonged there! All of the elements of it screamed fantasy and I loved every bit of it.
Story Description (10/10): Your story description accurately conveys what your readers can expect from your story. It is error-free in terms of grammar, syntax, and spelling and completely makes sense. It definitely drew me in to your story because I truly wanted to see what would happen when Delilah discovers the truth.
Overall Score (86/100) - 86%
Thank you for requesting on my thread. I hope this review has helped you! I really did enjoy reading this story and hope you will continue with it in the future. I definitely see a lot of potential here for growth as your storyline is an interesting one and your characters were very likable. If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to try to answer them
Hey, everyone. This review thread had a pretty good run. However, I’ve decided to stop doing reviews on here from now on and to focus solely on doing them on Instagram. If you want a review from me, I’ll be doing them through epyxmagic and episode.luxe on Instagram only.
As soon as @TamiRose sees her review, I’ll be asking a moderator to close this thread. Thank you to everyone who requested on here. I hope I was able to help you all even just a little
Got it thanks for the review and I’m very happy about it. I’ll definitely go look over those issues.
Also, since I’m new to this choices thing, how many choices per episode is a good number? I figured maybe two were good but maybe 3-4?
Thanks again. Good luck on epyxmagic.
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No problem! I would definitely recommend about 3-4 with about 2 of them having some sort of impact on the story
And thank you!!
That makes sense. Thanks
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No problem! Glad I could help!
Thank you again to everyone who requested. See you on Instagram if you want a review from me from now on
@Sydney_H can you please close this thread?
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