Revamped My Story - Looking For Reviews!

Hey everyone! :blush:
I started writing my story almost a year ago, and when I started I was sure that my directing skills were good. Oh boy was I wrong! :joy::sweat_smile:
But now, after 21 published chapters and a lot of hard work, I truly think that my writing and directing skills have both improved. That’s why after re-reading the first chapter and feeling ashamed of it, I spent five days revamping it.

I’m pretty proud of the outcome, but I’d love to hear another person’s opinion!
The chapter uses advanced directing and even has an art scene I drew myself (I also learned a bit how to draw during the last year :joy:) so if anyone’s interested to help me by reading chapter 1 and reviewing it I’d be very thankful :blush:

Story details:
Title: Catching Coal
Author: Tal Gordin
Number of Episodes: 21 (however, only chapter 1 is revamped as of now.)
Status: Ongoing
Genre: Fantasy , Adventure , Drama
Description: Coal lives her normal, perfect life until she discovers that she’s being hunted. But how can someone kill a girl who always comes back to life?

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