Reveiwers Needed!

Hi :blush: I have a story and I’d love to know any way I can improve upon it using your reviews. So if you have time can you read it and tell me what needs fixing? Thanks!

Lies,Love, Lust, Gangs and Death! People may think the dancing industry is simple… But what happens when it can get you killed?

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Moved to Share Feedback since you’re looking for reviews. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics, and feel to PM me if there are any questions. :wink:

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Sure I’ll check out the first chapter!

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I’ve tried to read your story but after the intro it goes to a black screen and I’ve waited several minutes for it to work and I’ve tried replaying it several time and it did the same thing.

Also the intro is a good idea but it’s extremely slow and I was going to leave the story bc I was so bored but I was trying to review for you but I can’t anyway

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Hi, yes I saw the errors but they should be fixed already :slightly_smiling_face: let me check again though

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Kk

Yep I can read it now! I’ll let you know later what I think! :slight_smile:

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:+1:

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I finished the first chapter and I thought it was pretty good!! I actually started something similar to this but a fashion style one so I liked it a lot!!
I think the concept is very well thought and I like the points and stuff.
The only thing is the directing could be a little better like when you show the judges, and it stares at the wall for 5 second and then to the judges. Also sometimes when they exit they exit in different directions or ,back to the judges, it was like the first time you showed them. They all popped up one by one.

But other than that I love the storyline and keep up the good work!!

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Thank you :smile:

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Yep!

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