Review My First Chapter?

Hi everyone! I would like for someone to review my story! To review it, read the information down below.

So I haven’t even finished chapter 1 yet, but I need some thoughts on if it’s flowing nicely and smooth. Can someone review it? It’s almost 400 lines (I know, it’s short right now). I have tried my hardest, and I would appreciate it if someone rated it. Please say something like “I’ll review it!” and I’ll PM you the link. Give me your thoughts and feedback there!

With much love,

1 Like

I"LL review it


I’ll review it

1 Like

I can review it. Give me some time.


Hi everyone! Princess Camden here.

First off, I know Princess Camden is a stupid name, but whatever.

So I need some people to review my story. It’s obviously not finished. I have about 600 lines in chapter one, but I still need to add more. Let me show you what I’m still working on and what you need to know.

I’m still working on…

  • Adding music and sounds
  • Adding dialogue
  • Adding a plot twist
  • Making a real intro
  • The last choice is not finished. I still need to add another branch.
  • It ends abruptly, but that’s because I needed to get off of my computer at that time.

Please don’t judge me on the things above! You can give me advice on them, but what I really want to know is…

  • Does my story run smoothly?
  • Does my story feel rushed?
  • Is the dialogue choppy?

And I will accept any other feedback or a rate. I would love to know how you feel about my story.

I feel like I should PM you the link, so not everyone is reading it. I don’t want lots of people reading it already, since it’s not done. I’ll also PM you any other warnings that you need to know. You can put your link in your reply, and your story info. I think I’m only going to read one chapter, unless it’s really interesting and suspenseful! I will send screenshots if wanted. Thank you in advance!

-Princess Camden

If you need feedback you can pm me.

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