Hey so i just read your first episode and I think that your story is really intresting!
I liked the length of the episoded.
There are a lot of times where your main character is alone and speaks to herself. It may be better if you let her think what she’s saying. For example:
instead of doing it like this
Man, what a long day!
just do it like this
(Man, what a long day!)
Another thing that you can change is to add music.
It would give the audience a better reading experience.
And the last thing that I would suggest you is to zoom in on the characters when someone is talking.
It will make your scene look more alive.
@zoom on MAINCHARACTER to 200% in 0
to remove a zoom just do:
I hope that I could help you a little.English is not my first language but I hope that you understand my review.
Please continue your story it seems really interesting.
I’d be really happy if you could read my episode too.