Review my unpublished story and I'll review yours!


#1

Hey guys, if you could, please review my unpublished story and I will review yours in return!

Title: The Moon Princess
Episode Count: 1 full episode done, 2nd episode still in progress.
Genre: Fantasy
Description: Taken into an orphanage, you don’t know who your parents are. But one day, you discover a secret, you’re The Moon Princess.

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5827940549656576


#2

Hey I can review it for you.


#3

The first school (?) scene the background isn’t working it’s a black screen?


#4

Hey i will read your story.
Here is my story.
Title: No changes after ayear
Episode Count: 1
Genre: Drama, romance, comedy
Description: Zen had a beautiful childhood until he was 10 years old with his father but after meeting a beautiful women who claims to be his true mother everything changes.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6385627538259968


#5

Hey so i just read your first episode and I think that your story is really intresting!
I liked the length of the episoded.

Advices:
There are a lot of times where your main character is alone and speaks to herself. It may be better if you let her think what she’s saying. For example:
instead of doing it like this
MAINCHARACTER (idle_exhausted)
Man, what a long day!

just do it like this
MAINCHARACTER (idle_exhausted)
(Man, what a long day!)

Another thing that you can change is to add music.
It would give the audience a better reading experience.

And the last thing that I would suggest you is to zoom in on the characters when someone is talking.
It will make your scene look more alive.
For example:

@zoom on MAINCHARACTER to 200% in 0
to remove a zoom just do:
@zoom reset

I hope that I could help you a little.English is not my first language but I hope that you understand my review.
Please continue your story it seems really interesting.
I’d be really happy if you could read my episode too.


#6

Hey! I’ve created 2 stories so far, and I would love it if you’d check 'em out!!

DEMIGODDESS

Author Name: Giselle Crescent

Genre: Fantasy

Description: Being the daughter of Zeus isn’t easy. Add responsibilities and your mother having cancer topped on with a forbidden temptation to a boy who can rock your world , literally. CC

Small Cover:
5242e4c65aad4dc4eaa16195e5918d47b926391f_1_323x500-2

Large Cover:
78db2eb2c8938e3cb31cac097f4217fbc58fb39a_1_690x492

LINK:
http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5839144650932224

The Ember Moon Pack

Author Name: Giselle Crescent

Description: You’re an average highschool girl. What’ll happen to your life when you get kidnapped by a pack of Hybrids that claim that you are their sacred Queen? CC, ChoicesMatter, 5Endings

Genre: Fantasy

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5387476824358912

Small Cover:

Large Cover:


#7

I’ll see if I can fix that right now!


#8

I will read your story tonight because I am currently at a swim meet!


#9

Thank you so much for this detailed review, it’s amazing and I’ll put all your tips/tricks to use! Thank you again, I’ll be reading and posting the review by tonight, or tomorrow morning (latest)!


#10

Sure! But this is a review for review so once you review mine, I’ll review yours!


#11

That would would be nice! But I’m changing some things at the moment and it may seem a bit confusing at the beginning of the episode.


#12

Hi, @VeroniqueRebel
I’ll read your story if you’re still interested.
Here is the link to my story. The Night HAwks by Jill Popsicle


#13