Review my unpublished story

I’m looking for someone to review the first episode in my new story:-
Darkness into light
It’s a gang related story with two mc’s.
All feedback is appreciated.
Instagram:- epi_hoot
Feel free to post your own below. X


ill review

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Thank you x

Ok im still reading. All u need to focus on is slowing down yr transitions. Your going to fast with them. U also may need to move yr characters a bit over so we can see the fight part. Hmm…

Thank you for this feedback. I’ll move the characters over a bit. X

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It was going to fast.
There was some grammar errors that I is always capitalized.
The Intro into the story was really boring and it let me know that you were a beginner.
Too many default characters.
Plus yet again, moving so fast.
We didn’t know her age nor name in the intro.

Thanks for the feedback, most definitely going to work on the intro. And speed of the chapter.

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