First of all, thanks for your honest opinion on my story. I understand not everyone’s a big fan of spotlight stories. I’m glad you enjoyed my story plot in spite of this .
Here are some reactions of mine on your review:
Lol, guess my comparison can be misunderstood after all. The intro of the story just explains the name of it. I’m pretty sure only a small amount of people would understand the title of the story if I didn’t explain that I made the word jellyfish into a verb, because that’s what happens to Lydia: she got ‘jellyfished’, she became heartless, literally, just like a jellyfish. It’s not that I focus on that anywhere aside from the intro (and the description, but not everyone bothers to read that), though. So I have to disagree with you on that statement.
I already had the zooms fixed and think the characters are captured in them just fine? I’m not sure what you refer to with this comment. Maybe you could describe the scenes that you refer to?
As for the grammar/lingual part. I know I sometimes forget to add comma’s. I’ll be careful to read my sentences out loud in the future to make sure they flow well. Could you recall the misspelled words for me (and the episode number, if you remember)? I hate to use the ‘English isn’t my first language’-excuse, especially in spelling words, since one can easily look up such things. So if I misspelled anything, shame on me .
When it comes to giving hints with choices, I always feel like the author will do this wrong in the eyes of one group of readers or the other. You know, you may think the hints are overbearing, but I have also heard people who wanted more details or information in them, because they ended up making a wrong choice somewhere (though this was in my other story, which is why I ended up giving more detailed hints in this one to prevent this accusation from happening again). As for the point system: yes it is to show how your nerve is influenced by a decision (commenting on the green or red points, not the love-interest points). I will add that to my explanation, thanks for pointing this out to me .
I’m so darn glad the ear-licking creeped you out! It was PRECISELY what that was meant to do. Spoiler Alert: Also, it shows the contrasts to your natural reaction and the lack of this in Lydia in her heartless state. I really get this comment a lot and get delighted every time. It is there to emphasize how Lydia only has her common sense and some dulled out physical senses to rely on now her heart is gone and replaced by a monotone blood-flow, which is now only influenced by the slight contractions of her blood vessels and the contractions of her muscles (a little lesson in biology will occur in a later stage, don’t worry ). Point I’m trying to make is: Lydia changes from someone you can identify with to a girl with flat emotions at most, that only freaks out, because she knows it is common sense to do so and she has done so all her life. The scene with the ear-licking is one of the first signs she can’t react on impulse of emotion. She just let the woman take off after that and gets angry based on common sense when she meets the woman later on (meeting occurs at the end of episode 3, the angry scene is episode 4). Also, it adds to the character of Melody as well, but I won’t spoil that for you yet. If you want to know, get to know her better in episode 4. If you still don’t get it and want me to explain, you may always contact me here or on instagram: himawari_1993 .
Thanks again for your honest review! Let me know when your story gets published .