Review of your story(CLOSED)


Hey. I know how it is inportant to get honest and true review, especially if you just have started your first story. So, Im here to help you. I have a lot of free time now and Id be happy to read first chapters of your story and give a feedback. I`ll write a full description of pros and cons of your story in order to help you in developing story :hatching_chick::hatching_chick:

And pls be free to read my story( its optional, but Id be happy if you take a look)


That would be amazing!
Title: My Strength
Author: Katiekate
Description: Life has never been simple for Eden. There is only one person in the world who can keep her happy. What happens when someone new enters her life. Will that number multiply?
Style: Ink
Genre: Drama


Hi, @Nierido !

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you! Constructive criticism is exactly what I am looking for! I wonder though: could you read 3 episodes rather than 1? This is a contest entry, I just don’t want to mess up the reader engagement. Please, let me know!

Anyway, if you are interested in reading a story with several mini-games and where CHOICES REALLY MATTER then, please, give my story a try. It has 4 different endings and it is really animated! All the backgrounds are custom and there is a special art scene as well. I promise, the plot will also keep you hooked :blush:

Here is the video trailer I made so that you can get a better idea what the story is about:

My story details:

Name of story: Fantastical: Black Shadow
Author: Alex Af
Genre: Fantasy
Episodes: 3
Summary of story: Having women on board is considered bad luck? Well, as the most wanted pirate captain, you’ll certainly bring the worst luck to anyone who dares cross your path. CC, choices matter
Link to story:


Hello @Nierido ! I would like a review of my first Episode! Hope you will like it :heart:

Story title : Sandy and her Quadruplets
Author : R.J.
Genre : Comedy
Description : How can she survive with noisy and disobedient quadruplets? Will she finally find the father of her sons ? Here’s the crazy life of Sandy and her quadruplets!
Link :
Cover :


Hey, thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind if I add some screenshots from your story in my review?


That’s absolutely fine x


I`ve read the first two chapters of your story and I really like the plot and idea. However, as for me I felt a leak of intrigue, because of Layton thoughts. You show in the beginning that he already likes the character, so I kind of can assume that they will be together and my assumptions are killing the urge to read more. But the sickness of the Ri and somebody called him bring me back. (its just my opinion, sorry if it sounds rude i just want to help you). Also I would like to advise you to work on characters dispositions, cause sometimes characters are placed unnatural, like:

and when you make a choice of outfit for RI, It`s difficult to see options like:

In addition, time to time characters just freeze like:

You know that mistakes listed above only the problem of code writing and you can work on them in future episodes. Also Id like to suggest you to add some music or sound effects in order to make your story alive and add full immersion effect. Summarizing, Id like to say, that the main idea of the story is fascinating, despite of code writing deficiency. I wish you good luck in chapters writing, take care :rose:


Thank you so much! Your feedback has really helped! I’m going to go back and fix those coding errors now. x


Love your video, love you story, love you :grin:
Now seriously, your using of props and overlayers is amazing. Magic in ship? I actually have never read anything like your story. I literally dont know what to say: choices, backgrounds, plot - JUST GIVE HIM AN OSCAR. Add me to your fan group :hugs: If Ill be able to add something more conscious, I`ll let you know


OMG, thank you SO MUCH!!! You’ve really made me cry with happiness now!



pls dont cry. Im waiting for new episodes.


It’s with joy only as I feel very motivated now! Thank you so much!



Hey, girl. Your story made me laugh a lot. You have an interesting beginning and plot hooked me. But, during the reading I found some imperfections like: character position - Sandy and school director were separated during conversation, try to use some zooms( I read only first episode because its late but im gonna read your story till the end (fun as hell)) ; sometimes when music just stops, i feel like “what the hell?”. pls use music through whole history or don`t use it at all (better to use). I really love your sense of humor and hope you will continue this story, take care :rose:


Thank you so much and I really appreciate your review! :heart: !!! (don’t worry about it, I’m fine with that :slight_smile: )
I’ll fix the errors about the music and character positions (thanks for notifying me)
Thank you again! I’m so happy :blush:


Name: Crossed Paths
Author name: Dreamer

Also amazing profile pic haha and my story is discontinued but I finished editing it today


Hey cupcake, Can you pls add link? Thanks))


Sure, I’ll send one soon :smile:



Thanks, I`ll read it tomorrow)


Hi there! I’d love to get a review from you!! However, this is a contest entry. I hope you could read 3 episodes instead of one, if that’s okay :blush:

Title: Fantastical: Regnum Fortes
About: You’re a set of twins which were suddenly zapped into a realm you never even knew about. What now?
Episodes: 3 (on-going)
What to expect:

  • This story uses a point system! (Choices actually matter.)
  • This story has a wide variety of Love Interests! Even options for the LGBT community!
  • Some pretty rad effects! (50+ overlays and backgrounds were used!)
  • Fighting scenes!
  • Plot twists you never saw coming!
  • Diverse characters!
  • Text effects!
  • + Many more features!