It took me a while to look for your story, so I ended up just searching your name WinterMoon05, I’d recommend you insert keywords and a cover art, mainly because the cover art is the first thing the viewer sees.
The personalised backgrounds were very good and they made the story appealing :), the customisation template was one which you got off someone and not off the Episode Original Templates, which is good as the template you used was more simple.
There was a good buildup with Louise, with the doughnut scene, which added more comedy, and then you introduced her as Summer’s best friend. Therefore the buildup was pretty good, it wasn’t too fast or slow
However the negative side of you introducing pretty much every character, isn’t very entertaining for the reader, though some may like it. Rather than telling the reader imply it so the reader can infer.
The customisation of Summer’s brother was thrown in the reader’s face, Summer was talking to Gary and all of a sudden her brother popped up – it gave me a fright The scenes were also very random, in one scene it was night the next scene it was day.
Overall it was a pretty good story and it did make me want to read on, the chemistry between characters was great, and the reader (as in I) could feel it