My thoughts
I read one episode.
I like the character card and the story description. It’s very mysterious, hooking, and interesting.
I love that the choices matters, and that there’s a make MC. I was definitely excited to start the story.
Overall, the spot directing told the story well. It was very smooth. Nice overlays, too.
As for grammar, I’m pretty picky. There were only a few errors (mostly regarding comma placement). Overall, good job.
In episode 1, there was a lot of info dumping at the beginning. I like how there was at least some story being told in the background. I wish I could have learned more from actual conversations or other sorts of character interaction, though. It’s more fun that way, and readers usually retain more information. Even though what you were saying was interesting, it would be better to SHOW more instead of narrate everything in my opinion. But overall, the opening was a good introduction for what was to come.
I wish you had added more emotion to the scene where Mother Dawn dies. It seems to be very important, but it seems to have been brushed off a little in that moment.
The choices were a lot of fun.
On a scale from 1 through 10, 5 being average (which is not at all bad), I’d give the first episode a 6.5/10. This kind of fantasy just isn’t my thing, so I’m not really against the way you wrote it.