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Hey! I will be reviewing only the first episode of your story.
I review only unpublished stories.

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  1. Request only if you use some of my help.
  2. I also have a life outside of Episode so sometimes it takes a little longer.
  3. I have every right to decline your request if you don’t include the password. (Apple)
  4. PLEASE only request if you can handle criticism.
  5. I only accept four requests at the time. During the time please don’t request.
  6. Please give me credit by my forum name @Samantha79

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Form

Story Title:
Author Name:
Story Genre:
Story Description:
Link to your story:
Cover (optional):

Thank you for taking your time for reading this!!

Waiting List:
1.@Iag1690
2.@Madhu
3.@
4.@

1 Like
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2 questions

  1. can you review a not publish story.
  2. if you got time can you look at chapter 2 and 3 (and maybe 4 ) since they dont give read(because it is unpublish) and I kinda already have gotten a lot of feedback on chapter 1.

APPLE

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  1. Yes I only review unpublished stories.
  2. I can look also at chapter 2. If I‘m also have time then I can try to read the chapters 3 and 4.
    Yes, pls fill out the form then. :blush:
1 Like
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I thought it said publish stories. my mistake

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I just like to note cc has not been added I will before I publish

Story Title: Ethereal
Author Name: take a wild guess it’s my profile name
Story Genre: fantasy
Story Description: Walking home from work you find an unconscious man. waiting for the ambulance you don’t see a little magic creature sneaking into your bag. now you need to hide from the fairies.
Link to your story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4693661906698240
Cover (optional):

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1 Like
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@line123462

Review

Choices (6/10)
You had good choices. At the beginning you explained that you use the Point system which I personally think is very good! I also think that the mini games you had were interesting and good because you get points and found out more about the MC.

Plot (9/10)
I think your plot in general very good! The readers learn a bit about the story and the characters. The beginning was really good because you explained everything and warned us.

Directing (8/10)
How you directed was good. You used overlays that made the episode even more interesting. But… the speech bubbles were not there were there had to be. That confused me often because I didn’t know who says what. Also you could have used Transition because so that the transition from one scene to the other would be nicer and better.

Sound & Music (9/10)
You used music and sound that made the story more exciting, especially at the beginning.

Length (10/10)
Most of the people like it when the episodes are 10-15 minutes long. Yours was about 11 minutes which was very good. Not too long and too short.

Characters (6/10)
The readers found out a lot about the MC. There were also other characters which was good, but I was sometimes confused why the MC meets them all at work. We couldn‘t cc the MC which was okay but then you should maybe choose a name because you said at the beginning that we‘re not the character.

Cover (10/10)
The cover fits very well to the story!

Grammar (3/10)
You said that you had a proof reader, which is why I‘m not listing your mistakes now. But I would recommend you to look through everything again because I saw many mistakes.

Genre (10/10)
I noticed immediately that the genre was fantasy because of the beginning! Good job!

Description (6/10)
The description was good. The readers know what they going to read. But it could have been written more exiting so that the reader gets more interest to read it.

(77/100) => 77%

Thank you for requesting. I hope this review has helped you! If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to answer them. :blush:

1 Like
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speech bubbels and profread and cc has not been done yet, those are things I do know shall be done before I publish

I legit do not have anymore space in the description, I can add one more letter

thank you for the rewiew

9

Okay, I‘m happy that I could help you!

1 Like
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How excatly can we give you credit :joy:

Btw do you review beggings ,too?

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At the end of the first episode maybe. :joy:

1 Like
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Apple

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Can you maybe also fill out the form?

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Yes! sorry I didn’t see it

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Story Title: Light After Dark
Author Name: Raven Writes
Story Genre: Romance/Drama
Story Description: After the death of the love of your life, you vow to never love again. Will a new found friendship with a kind stranger finally allow you to heal? Or will it too end in tragedy?
Link to your story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4657750380183552
Cover (optional): None yet
[/quote]

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Thankyou!

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Review

Choices (8/10)
There weren‘t that much choices only which outfit to wear, but that was okay because of the story.

Plot (10/10)
I really like your story idea. The beginning was very interesting. Also the cliffhanger and the end was very good and interesting! Good job!!!

Directing (8/10)
Your directing was really good. I noticed that Alex was smaller than the MC should it be like that? When not you should fix that. Also the scene before the news, the MC and her friend walked on the same spot I think you should fix that too. When the police officer talked he talked tree times the same it looked a little bit weird maybe you could change some of the emotions? I also really liked that you used transition and the zooming was also good!

Sound & Music (0/10)
You didn‘t used sound and music. I personally would have liked it more when you used at least sound when her phone ring or on door. Also at some scenes music would have fit very well and the cliffhanger could also have ended with a scary sound/ music.

Length (10/10)
The length of the episode was very good. Not too long! Very good!

Characters (8/10)
The readers found out a lot about the MC and Alex, but maybe you could add some background characters? I think it would be a better idea if the readers don‘t costumize Alex because I think he don‘t have such an important role in the story but it‘s up to your if you want to change that or not.

Cover (10/10)
Since you don‘t have a cover I will give the ten points. :sweat_smile:

Grammar (10/10)
Your grammar was really good! I didn‘t notice any mistakes very good!

Genre (10/10)
The genre is absolutely romance and also drama during the episode.

Description (9/10)
Your description spoiler a little bit but that‘s fine. A very interesting description!

(83/100) => 83%

Thank you for requesting. I hope this review has helped you! If you have any questions about this review, I’d be happy to answer them.

I personally will continue reading the story! Very good story idea. Pls PM when it‘s out! :sweat_smile:

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Aww thank you this was such a helpful review! I will most likely take basically all of your advice! I am glad you enjoyed the story so much :slight_smile:

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What do you mean?