I notices a glitch when she runs on screen she runs and then walks then runs back into screen try having
@DANNY spot 1.28 -90 0
@DANNY walks to spot 1.28 400 0 in 3 AND DANNY does it while run_athletic
You can have Danny and her friend go to negative spots in order to make it seem like they are sitting in their chair
I usually have my characters start at 0 and walk to a negative spot so for example
@DANNY spot 1.28 450 0
@MARISOL spot 1.28 350 0
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 250 -80 THEN DANNY starts idle_sit AND DANNY faces right
@MARISOL walks to spot 1.28 50 -80 THEN starts idle_sit AND MARISOL faces right
by the way those number above are guesses! But generally you need the number in -80’s position to be negative to get the effect I am talking about
Another method of having characters go down into seats is to have them walk to the spots and then slowly directly lower into the seats. I find this doesn’t always look the most natural but as long as you do it not too fast and not too slow it should look fine, here’s an example of what it could look like
@DANNY spot 1.28 450 0
@MARISOL spot 1.28 350 0
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 250 0 THEN DANNY faces right
@MARISOL walks to spot 1.28 50 0 THEN MARISOL faces right
@pause for .2
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 250 -80 in .8 THEN DANNY starts idle_sit
@MARISOL walks to spot 1.28 50 -80 in .8 THEN MARISOL starts idle_sit
I’m not previewing these so I’m not sure how they will look in portal but hopefully you get the gist of what to do from my examples!
If sound doesn’t bother you I would put in a sound for the class bell, I’m pretty sure there is one, it might be under phone sounds though or possibly int.
Danny and Marisol walk kinda close to the teacher you can have them walk back some but that’s just what I noticed you can also have them off screen walk to on screen, it looks like they spawn on screen and then walk to their spots, you can have this instead though
@DANNY spot 1.28 550 0
@MARISOL spot 1.28 450 0
when I have two characters off screen to the right and I have them walk on screen together I usually have them be about 100 apart so that way even if I don’t put the timing for their walking or say I do put in timing and I make it exactly the same they still won’t be walking on tip of each other so it can just look more natural.
So next I’d have
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 250 0
@MARISOL walks to spot 1.28 150 0
and say if I wanted them to walk slower then the automated time for their walking I’d have something like
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 250 0 in 5
@MARISOL walks to spot 1.28 150 in 5
5 being the seconds and if I want them to walk faster I could put a number less than 3 or something
In the scene with Principal Jay make sure Danny is facing him. You can have her face him in the scene by having
&DANNY spot 1.28 xxx xx (whatever spot you have now)
&DANNY faces left
before the @transition fade in
When Marisol comes to the house her and her tia do the same laugh, I usually try to have characters do different laughs if synchronized. It makes thing look less directed and more natural when I do that. Maybe have one do a chuckle and the other do a giggle. But!! If you have them do the same laugh to try to convey to the reader how close they are to one another. Bc like when you’re around someone for a long time you do start to pick up each other’s mannerisms, then you can leave it
I would have Danny do
@DANNY starts idle_sad
@pause for .6
TIA
I will let you two talk for a minute
rather than only have Danny start being sad in reaction to what Marisol says after the aunt leaves
Nice I like the transition you put in when you choose to talk to her brother! I’ve wanted to incorporate the special transitions in my own stories just to test it out, I haven’t done it yet though. But good job!! 
I believe you can have Danny walk to the spot as the transition fades in by having
&DANNY spot 1.28 -60 0
&DANNY walks to spot 1.28 220 0 in 4
@transition fade in black
I would start the sad music when the mom enters screen instead of after she starts talking, that way you set the mood with just the pressence of her rather than implying to the reader that mood needs to be sad after sad words. The air is already tense between Danny and her mom, she doesn’t really like her mom and she already knows that her mother is upset with her so it would make sense she’s be on edge as soon as her mother entered the room and not just after she says what she says
Overall: I really liked this! I thought it was cute! I’m glad Danny and her mom have back story and I’m interested in their complex relationship. I know first episodes are generally short but even if you just go back and add in some more dialogue here and there or some pauses I think that could help with the pacing of everything. Because right now it kind of just goes from her laughing with her friend in class to moving back home. Pauses in conversation are natural and help to set mood and show that the characters are alive and thinking even when we don’t show their every thought and it helps for scenes to not seem like everything is happening super fast even if you only add one pause into the scene. But that being said you don’t need to add pauses all of the time just where you think they would naturally hesitate or stop to think even if you don’t explicitly show those thoughts. Also when it comes to sound keep in mind that you can have sound last through multiple scenes if the mood is maintained or if the mood in one scene between two other scenes of the same mood is a neutral mood scene. For example
scene - Danny is sad, so start sad music
next scene - neutral Danny is just thinking not really doing anything or is talking to someone and mood isn’t happy or sad, so music can continue
next scene - Danny is talking to her mom and is sad again, sad music is still playing
But generally try having the music play longer and see what it looks like and whether you think it fits or not. This story is really good! Good job! 
thank you dear! I’m glad you did <3
!!