Sure! If you feel uncomfortable sharing it here on this thread, don’t be afraid to PM me the link!!!
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Thank you so much for the WONDERFUL feedback! I appreciate this very much! I think I know what conversation you’re referring to between Gal and Naomi… I, myself already revised this section a few times… I too, thought the placement seemed odd. Perhaps I will cut the scene altogether? hmmm? I also agree… after chapter 2, things begin to move VERY fast… I think I may have overdone the pacing a bit there. I will work on that. Excellent Review and VERY VERY appreciated. ML and good luck with your story (I know you are working hard on one yourself)
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So sorry for the extremely late review! 
I’ve been swamped with a lot of assignments and all that damn stuff…
Summary
Spelling - 10/10! No errors as far as I can see… Great sentence structure, also.
Directing - 11/10! Omg this was literally… THAT INTRO WAS SO FASCINATING AND MYSTERIOUS IN A WAY. I don’t have words, and just say… you earned that 11/10. Other than the creepy sort of intro, the rest of the chapter went well. No errors as far as I can see.
Storyline and plotline - 9/10. Giving it this high of a rating which you totally deserved 
because that intro scared the hell outta me. Idk if that was your intention, but once that freaking girl WITHOUT any facial features came on screaming and falling in an empty void of space, that literally was nightmare material. As it turned out, that creepy intro was a dream, sooo that was nice to see. But, back to plotline, it was a very well crafted first chapter. Definitely gave me the impressions of a quality story with lots of interesting storytelling to unveil. Pretty advanced coding as far as I can see, and no errors with directing. Even if the intro made me a little shocked at first, it still intrigued me to continue reading to find out what all that was about.
Music - 10/10. Fit the theme, especially that creepy sorta beginning, you used the drone music. (forgot what it was called, but it perfectly suits scenes / intros like these, with creepy feelings)
First impressions - 8.5/10. After the scary / mysterious / fascinating intro / nightmare dream thingie, things seemed a little bit calmer after that. However, I absolutely know that there will be more thrills like the perfection of a depiction of a nightmare (that sentence was way too runon, but whatever) in your story, which is most definitely what will reel in readers who will no doubt enjoy / love your story. HOWEVER, at first, I was a little confused. Once the intro dream came on, I was a little bit confused as to what was going on, until BAM THAT FREAKING SCARY ASS GIRL JUMPSCARED THE HELL OUTTA ME. I MAY suggest shortening the intro? That, of course, is up to your liking, but just know I was slightly confused to the long intro with just a black screen I was staring at, and of course, after the shock of seeing that creepy girl, I was just staring, wondering wtf was going on. The title is very unique, and it was extremely easy for me to locate and fine. The cover is interesting, reeling in those readers, once again. The description is VERY well crafted. No mistakes in grammar, which is what made me want to read your story and see what it was about (obviously, if you have mistakes in your description, it would probably turn off readers, making them think there’s also errors in the story itself, but you had perfect grammar, and use of wording that made the story itself sound mysterious and interesting.
Would I continue? - Yes. This might literally be a funny coincidence because I’ve read the previous three stories that I was to review, even before the actual request came. I actually read your story about a few weeks before you came onto this thread I literally made yesterday lmao and asked me to review it. And… most definitely, this is a really good thing - the second I saw your story on this thread, I immediately remembered exactly everything that the first chapter was about. I clearly remembered the intro (because it was so… mysterious and scary? If that was the kind of vibe you were going for in the intro / nightmare dream, you did a wonderful job at portraying that. If not… I feel embarrassed, and apologies in advance if the scary vibe was not what you were going for in the beginning. Your story is memorable (in ALL the good ways) in any way, and if I were to recall your story, I’d STILL remember that nightmare you coded into the story very clearly, with the girl-with-no-facial-features falling into the empty terror of void / space. ) Wonderful job with the first chapter. You really created a memorable first chapter, making the reader just want more and more of what you are writing. I will continue reading, once I’m finished with a current story I’m reading. (Almost done! 5 more chapters to go, then I’ll most likely continue reading yours. 
)
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Aww thank you, for even blessing me with such a wonderfully unique story to read. I will DEFINITELY keep reading once I have the time to do so, (which will most likely be this Friday). If you’d like I can PM you a review of the second chapter?
Perhaps you’d like me to review your chapter 2 for free? I have all the time if you’d want me to. If not, that’s alright. Also, if you’d prefer, I could PM you for further reviewing? Idk, since it’s all up to you.
Thank you!! 
Awww thank you so muchhhh!! Also, once again, thank you for helping me with your first impressions review. I’ve made several changes, and I’m continuing on working on finishing the first chapter and revising my second - third - fourth, before publishing. I’m currently looking for any beta readers, perhaps you’d like to be one? You’re already just the person who can critique my story perfectly. Your review on your first impressions thread really went deep into detail, which is exactly the type of reviewer I’m looking for before I publish… It’s alright if you aren’t interested!!
TO ALL PEOPLE CURRENTLY WAITING ON A REVIEW:
I won’t review again tonight, but I will work hard on your reviews in a few days. I currently have a lot of assignments to work on, as well as preparing for exams, but I will still make sure I get your reviews done soon.
HOWEVER, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND - Your review MAY come as late as Friday night (EST TIME). Please don’t think I’ve ditched you on your requested review You can also think of it as a free read since I literally have no stories to read atm , and I promise they will come soon.
Also, if you’d like a review earlier than Thursday or Friday, please tell me ASAP so I can see what I can do. It takes time to write these reviews, so also, if you see my typing in the thread, it might be about 5-10 minutes before the actual review comes out.
PS. Unpublished stories are also welcome on this thread!! If you want to keep your story a secret, don’t be afraid to PM me your link.
@jiya.episode
@a.d.episode
@RainbowCat
@kriglesias
@Sebule
@Maya6
@Fernanda2
@xinxmyxeye
@wild_vitamin
@Madhu
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If you could keep me posted on your choices and how your story is coming along I would LOVE that! I have so many paths and I want to make sure that the story, based on your choices, is playing out as it should for the readers. I appreciate the offer very much!
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Sure!! Would you like me to further pm you so we can discuss this further? 
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Sounds great! 
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I’m good! I’m fine with sharing it publicly since it’s about to be published anyways, haha. Thanks for being considerate though! 
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Here’s all the info! Take all the time you need, I’m in no rush
Title: Providence
Author: A.D. Summers
Description: “Why does God even deal with us?” I never thought I’d know his answer… until I returned to that mysterious town. After all, Providence is a greater mystery than Revelation.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5942187732107264
Cover:
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Ooh that’s all cool! 
Congrats on it being about to be published! Lmao unlike my ass where I’m still coding the same story - for several months now… AND IT’S STILL UNPUBLISHED I’ll be excited to read it soon.
Are you alright with receiving your review by Thursday / Friday? If you’d like it as soon as possible, I’ll get to it first thing tomorrow.
EDIT - DAMNNN THAT COVER makes me want to read it immediately. 
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Hahaha, I say that it’s gonna be published, even though I literally only have the first episode ready 
So don’t worry, you’re not the only one 
And thanks! I really wanted to make this story the best as I possibly could
I don’t mind getting it on Thursday or Friday, I’m in no rush and I especially don’t like being pushy with people who take their own time to do reviews. Like I said, take as much time as you need!~
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UGHHhghageghiagh thank youuuuu for being so nice!! I want to make sure everyone’s happy, so I try to make time for anyone who needs their reviews ASAP. Currently, I’m literally juggling between replying quickly to people on the forums vs doing my actual assignments 
I look forward to reading your story!!
It’s nice to know someone who’s in sort of the same situation as I am! 
I will gladly help you review your second / third chapters, if you’d like me to. Perhaps you may be looking for beta readers?
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No need to thank me, haha, it should really just be proper behavior that should be expected of everyone, honestly 
And omg get your stuff done GIIIRL, these forums can wait for a HOT minute. Though I’m such a hypocrite, cause I do that with my own homework too
And I’d love if you could review them, but I literally wasn’t kidding when I said I only have the first episode made HAHA.
I’ll let you know when I’ve made some actual progress on them though to see what I can change or make better, thanks for offering!
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LMAO I should probably start doing that. 
No problem! I’ll start reviewing your first chapter as soon as I have the time to, and I’ll gladly help you should you ever need any help with constructive criticism on your story.
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Heheheeh thank youuuuu!!! Aaaww thank you! I appreciate your feedback and will take the necessary things into consideration 
Yes the intro was literally meant to scare people but when I analysed it again, it is a foreshadowing and a glimpse of the ancient past that happen,… but at same time blown out of proportion because it is a nightmare. You know how sometimes we dream of somethings in reality but in the dream it really takes things out of proportion? Yup that was what I was going for here heheh.
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Lmao yep ik what you’re saying here. You definitely perfected that exaggerated nightmare.
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Hi! I’m getting to everyone’s reviews right now. I noticed you haven’t shared the link to your story? If you’d like, you can send it via PM.
@jiya.episode, here is your review! Sorry for the long wait, as I’ve had a busy week.
But anyways, here it isss!!
Summary
Spelling - 10/10. I didn’t see any errors at all, and the sentence structures all made sense.
Directing - 8/10. You have some errors in a few places. Example: When the MC visits his friend to tell her he’s going away, the friend’s fiance is shown walking over to the two. However, the layers are wrong and the fiance is behind the friend, making it look like he’s walking to them but behind the girl. Also, this is just a small thing, but I find it a little weird how Shawn is on the plane (by HIMSELF), yet the speaker on the airplane calls for everyone to get prepared to land. It’s a little weird, considering he’s all by himself, because I assumed he was on a private plane? Otherwise, he may be in first class or something, which was why he was shown sitting alone on the entire plane? Other than those errors, nothing really was wrong with directing, and it’s all nicely put together. Nothing else other than those two small details, and I liked the beginning, where Shawn steps out into the crowd. It feels like a fresh, new beginning (for some reason Idek lol), when he steps out and looks at all those people cheering him on.
Storyline and plotline - 8.5/10. Pretty great story, which can definitely be expanded into a quality story worth reading. It’s a little confusing at first, because I didn’t know if I was playing as the girl, or the guy, and then, I didn’t know if I was playing as anyone at all. I kept thinking CC was going to come up, letting me know who the story is focusing more on? However, you did state in the FAQ there isn’t any CC soooo… Other than the minor confusions with who I should focus more on, it’s a pretty good story idea. I felt so bad when Shawn was about to give a rose to the girl, but she was with her future fiance. Good directing also to show what’s going on in the plotline.
Music - UNDECIDED - No actual music, just sound effects. Undecided rating.
First impressions - 8/10 - It’s a pretty good story, and the MC (who I assume is Shawn) seems to be very sweet. Honestly, I have a feeling that lots of people will enjoy your story. Your story was very easy to locate and find. It was at the top of the search list when I found it, which is good, since it will be easier for others to find it, which will help boost reads. A little confused on the episode count. Is only episode 1 available? Haven’t checked, but I think so.
Would I continue? - Maybe, if I have the passes to do so. Just started a really long story, so I’ll have to finish that before being able to start new ones. If I have the time, I will definitely continue reading to see what happens.
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Thank you! I will work on the corrections.
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