Thank you for requesting! I’ll add you to the waiting list!
Thank you so much for this detailed review and the amazing rating! I wouldn’t have expected that I really appreciate you taking the time to do this and I can tell you’re 100% honest und doing it, and that’s what we small authors really need. Thank you again, I’m so happy about this review!
Story Title: BLOOD IN THE TIME
Author’s Name (Your Name):Ahsen sunshinee
Story Synopsis (Short Summary/Description):Akeira is a dangerous vampire who cares about no one but herself, but she has to cooperate with three strangers who come to the city on a secret mission
Sensitive Topics Warning (Any topics that you have included in your story that might be sensitive to the reader): That story use strong languege
Hello @sim_epi! I would also love to hear what you think of my story too!
Story Title: Call of Duty
Author’s Name (Your Name): Katherine Evans
Story Synopsis (Short Summary/Description): Isabella has been assigned as an undercover agent to arrest a crime lord. With a materialistic, rich, and arrogant bad boy as her partner, can she succeed? [cc]
Sensitive Topics Warning (Any topics that you have included in your story that might be sensitive to the reader): N.A.
Story Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5281177222316032
Thank you so much and you deserved the great review!
Thank u so much
Hi @Jazz5! Yes I’m okay with you sending the link privately
Title: Secrets (limelight)
Author name: Episode.Simone
Episode: 4 so far
Description: Renae Santiago! A mysterious assassin who crosses paths with Italian Mafia leader Dante Rodríguez. They both have deep dark secrets but who will be the one to confess first?
Thank you for requesting @Simone241! I’ll add you to the waiting list!
Thank you for Requesting! Here’s your review:
Your story has its strong and weak points. And I’m gonna be host here, it was definitely cliché. A girl meets a billionaire and boom! They’re engaged. But I KNOW your story can be so much more! The chapters also were very short, I’d say every chapter was at least 7 minutes tops. But I appreciate you taking that into consideration and making longer chapters soon. The story also felt very, and I mean VERY Fast paced. I get into all of this more in the in depth review, but overall your story needs a bit of improvement!
In Depth Review
Ok, so let’s start off with the storyline! Like I said, so far, it’s not unique. There are hundreds of stories where the MC meets a billionaire and their romance emerges from there, and I’m sure you’re aware of that. But out of these hundreds of stories, Why would the reader read yours specifically?
I really hope that your story has a really good reason as to why the billionaire who claimed on tv literally a day before that he is single is now pretending to be the MC’s Fiancée. And why the MC specifically. It’s easy to make a story cliché, but harder to make it original. And while I don’t expect any story to not have a single cliché plot point, I do hope that your story has a believable and realistic reason!
Your story also has no character development. Character Development is building a three dimensional character with a strong personality, goals and aspirations. The reader should really feel a connection with the character even if they are not playing as themselves. And while it’s harder to have character development in a fast paced story with shorter chapters, we actually don’t get an introduction to the MC in your story at all. In fact, there’s more about the best friend than us. All we really know is that the MC hates the LI and has a boring life.
There were also a few directing mistakes. Well not really "mistakes’’ but one thing I’d like to point out in the directing, is that when you watch the bonus scenes, your story title and text doesn’t really fit in the clapperboard which doesn’t give a good look. I didn’t find any other issues with your directing at all besides that one point! But I did like the idea of showing kinda like the “behind the scenes” of the chapters. It was original and kinda funny so I did like it!
The pacing was not right. Everything happened very quickly. Rather than the MC, who hates the LI warming up to him slowly or even when the LI asks the MC to fake being his fiancée, she didn’t even hesitate for a second, which felt weird as she was just complaining about him the day before. I know different people will have different opinions, but even for a fast paced story, we don’t get the MC’s emotions at all. What was she feeling with all this? Why has she agreed so quickly? None of this addressed besides the fact that the MC might start falling for him when it’s literally been 3 chapters.
Before concluding this review with my rating, I want to share some “tips” that might help you when writing future chapters. 1) Character Development. Like I said, it’s difficult to include character development in fast paced stories. But before you include character development, you have to know your character. In your story, you have really just highlighted the very broad strokes of your character’s personality. What you need to do is to really find all the small details about your character. Since this is a review thread, I’m not gonna go into detail too much about writing tips, but there are several threads out there that might help! 2) Cliché. It’s a bit too cliché. I’m sure even you have seen several stories that follow the same plot as yours so far. And with the way things are going, I think there should be a really valid reason to why this is happening in the first place. Why did the LI go for the MC specifically? Why did the MC agree without hesitation? I’m sure you have a great story planned out, but just in case you don’t I just wanted to share that just from the reader’s perspective your story looks like your average billionaire story.
4/10 I must say, this story has its ups and downs. You had funny bits in there which I did like, but for the most part (Judging from the first three chapters) It was cliché, fast paced and short. Which was definitely the reason I deducted a lot of points. I hope you use this review to see what your story looks like from a reader’s point of view and improve your future chapters! With the right plot twists and storyline, I really think your story can be more than a 4!
Ok thank you
Thank you so much for doing this! I hope there’s still more room if you aren’t caught up, here’s my story! Any feedback you could provide will be greatly appreciated.
Title: Treasure In You
Author: L.Q. Walter
Chapters: 8 (more coming soon)
Description: After discovering an old diary she believes will lead her to the location of a long lost treasure, she teams with an unlikely ally: a guy who is downright cocky yet wickedly hot!
Thanks for requesting! I’ll add you to the waiting list!
That’s so kind of you! Thank you and take your time!
I would really like to hear your opinion on my story if you are interested !
It’s called Fire bond
Description : Isabelle is caught up in the mafia life. As she tries to escape she finds herself drawn to a mysterious stranger.
Will she find happiness or will her past destroy her ?
It has customization and it is limelight version
1LI and currently 7 episodes !
Gender : Action but it has a lot more too !
Here is the link to it : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4565467524694016
My instagram name is @epilifeofdianna
*Note that it’s a story related to mafia, I don’t ever mean to be offensive so if you see anything that you feel it’s offensive please let me know !
Thank you in advance !
Thank you @diannaa ! I’ll add you to the waiting list!