So uhhh....i need help

My mom said she would umm…split me in two if i didn’t put on pants. (I was wearing shorts) Any ideas for what i can say?

1 Like

Oh no! Is it because shorts are too revealing (to her)?

1 Like

I guess, but like, why threaten to break me in half. Honestly, i had no clean pants and needed up wearing dirty ones:(
She even had the audacity to say stop crying when she said she would break me in half

1 Like

Oh no, that is not ok. At all. Is this the first time she’s said something like this?

1 Like

I’m so sorry. She likely does not mean it literally as parents tend to make threats like that. That doesn’t make it okay though. She sounds protective of you, and it likely comes from a place of worry. Once again, this is not an appropriaate way to show worry, but unfortunatly many parents use fear to get their point across. I say for now, do as she says, okay?

3 Likes

very first time

Oh I understand… I dealt with this a little back then, my answer was always “Why covering for others when others can controle themselves”. But this associated with the fact I was mainly dresscoded with the excuse I was disturbing teachers/students… Since i don’t exactly know your mom’s reason to say it is too revealing it won’t really help I apologize… :slightly_frowning_face:

1 Like

I mean she is your mom at the end of the day, maybe ask why she feels the way she feels? I mean, If anything, you shouldn’t even have shorts if this was such a big deal. I would just make sure that she still feels validated, but in a way that still gives you the opportunity to voice your feelings as well

3 Likes

its weird bc she bought the shorts-

That is strange. Maybe she bought them just for in-house use?

Could it also be a cultural thing? In my culture, some people will yell at you if you wear shorts outside because they hold the belief that a woman shouldn’t be showing her legs. Maybe your mom also has this belief?

Again, I’m just basing this off personal experience. I have no idea if she reacted that way to you outside. But I would definitely suggest having a conversation with her, and getting her input on why she reacted that way. Sometimes, people say things that they regret so maybe your mom regrets saying that? Or maybe she meant it as a joke (some people have dark humor)? :blob_hearts: I’m sorry this is causing you pain. I hope it works out :blob_hearts:

2 Likes

if that was the case, she should have told me they were for inside, not threaten to harm me.

That is weird, maybe like the other person said they were only for inside? I get it, I’ve never been a fan of the whole “tough love” tactic where you essentially scare your child into submission; there is always a nicer way you can say things, as words have such an impact on us as humans. I also know how frustrating it can be to want to protect your loved ones, and you can only do it in the ways you were taught growing up. I would talk to her, and if she’s still not willing to talk to you without being verbally abusive, then maybe call another family member to talk some sense into her?

Hey, @LilPink sometimes they don’t say because they have this belief that it’s implied in the culture. I know I’ve been yelled at for wearing shorts outside and it really does suck :sob: But I would definitely recommend for you to have a conversation with your mother. It can help you understand why she said something like that (although mothers shouldn’t be threatening their children). Sometimes, parents will give out threats, but they never act on them. Threatening your children is horrible overall, however. I’m also guessing you must be shocked by this because it’s the first time she said this? Or has there been more occurences?

Unfortunately, the forums isn’t the best place to get advice, but I tried my best.

1 Like

Wait, what temperature is it where you live? Where I live, it is the beginning of summer, but that isn’t the case for everyone.

From what I’m gathering - this is the first time she’s yelled/threatened you? - perhaps (and this is 1000x not an excuse on her part) there are other things she’s upset or stressed about that she has no control over and that one little thing of ‘too short shorts’ she lashed out a bit with a baseless and unwarranted reaction.

Maybe sit down later and ask her what about those shorts felt inappropriate to her after she’d purchased them in a NON-confrontational way. Try " you seemed very upset about the shorts you got me and it really upset me, too. Can you explain why and what you would consider appropriate to wear outdoors/in public?"

It could be that she bought them and thought they would be longer on you - I’ve ‘off the rack’ picked shorts that were my size, taken them home and had them riding WAY too high on my actual body. Again, as a mother myself, there is no excuse to threaten your children but I also know that a lot of parents were raised in toxic fearful situations (still not an excuse but an explanation- possibly.)

So just try to have a mature conversation and work together to lay down some ground rules as far as what is/isn’t okay to wear in public and go from there.