Someone to read my story?

Can someone please read the first chapter of my story?
like to tell me if it is too short and how i can improve it?

Yeah, I can do that for you. Send me the link.

Sure I’d be happy to read it, just leave the link below x

Heres the link…

I feel like my story is a bit boring , so once you’re done Please tell me how i can improve…

Okay. Thanks. Let me go through it and I’ll tell you my Feedback. :slightly_smiling_face:

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the link is above

I’ll check it out now x

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Sorry, there are some errors. It’s not opening in my Samsung android mobile.

Okay, do you have a computer you can use?

I am reading through this link… The hurtful Truth , right?

it was, i changed it so it is just “the truth” though…

Mistake 1. the girl inside the school eating cupcake is so tall that she is even seeing taller than the blue lockers. CHECK HER TALL/LENGTH/HEIGHT.

  1. Both the names can be visible. Make one name, either The Truth or the another.

Mistake 3. SHOW the Teacher, It’s like the teacher is invisible and these two girls are talking to stop reading.

Okay cool, i will do that :slight_smile:
did you think that the chapter was too short?

By the way why the lead female character is walking so tiresomely? Then Suddenly she gets all cheered up and talks about Jack!

Hey Chick, I’m unable to find your story. What’s your name on episode? x

@Sky_Rose You can’t follow that way. There are too many errors that won’t allow to open. Check this link for her if you wish

did you think that the episode was too short or had not enough dialogue

Create Mr. Anderson and make him talk.