Someone to read my story?


#1

Can someone please read the first chapter of my story?
like to tell me if it is too short and how i can improve it?


#2

Yeah, I can do that for you. Send me the link.
Thanks,
Ani.14


#3

Sure I’d be happy to read it, just leave the link below x


#4

Thankyou!
Heres the link…

I feel like my story is a bit boring , so once you’re done Please tell me how i can improve…


#5

Okay. Thanks. Let me go through it and I’ll tell you my Feedback. :slightly_smiling_face:


#6

Thankyou!
the link is above
@Sky_Rose


#7

I’ll check it out now x


#8

Sorry, there are some errors. It’s not opening in my Samsung android mobile.


#9

Okay, do you have a computer you can use?


#10

I am reading through this link… The hurtful Truth , right?


#11

it was, i changed it so it is just “the truth” though…


#12

FEEDBACK:-
Mistake 1. the girl inside the school eating cupcake is so tall that she is even seeing taller than the blue lockers. CHECK HER TALL/LENGTH/HEIGHT.


#13
  1. Both the names can be visible. Make one name, either The Truth or the another.

#14

Mistake 3. SHOW the Teacher, It’s like the teacher is invisible and these two girls are talking to stop reading.


#15

Okay cool, i will do that :slight_smile:
did you think that the chapter was too short?


#16

By the way why the lead female character is walking so tiresomely? Then Suddenly she gets all cheered up and talks about Jack!


#17

Hey Chick, I’m unable to find your story. What’s your name on episode? x


#18

@Sky_Rose You can’t follow that way. There are too many errors that won’t allow to open. Check this link for her if you wish


Continuing the discussion from [Someone to read my story?]
#19

did you think that the episode was too short or had not enough dialogue


#20

Create Mr. Anderson and make him talk.