Sometimes you win by losing

Your story sounds like a great read :slight_smile:

I’ll read it and let you know my opinion! (I won’t be able to give you my opinion until later on).

I’m ready to wait :slight_smile: I’m not in a hurry anymore, because the story is already published and there is even some time before the deadline. :slight_smile: And thanks for your attention to my post.

I’ve managed tor reply much sooner than I thought so here it goes…(I’m not overly great at reviews).

I liked the idea behind your story as I love a good mystery (who doesn’t!?) but it felt rather rushed?

They’re weren’t transitions between scenes apart from on a few occasions which made the time lapses rather difficult to follow as it was only a narrator saying 3 years later e.t.c to separate them.

The conversations didn’t flow very genuinely, it felt rather robotic. (You’ve made me blush was used quite a lot too). Some of the words you’ve used aren’t typical for an everyday conversation, I understand they are synonyms for more simple words but sometimes simple is better.

I think it may have just been my expectation rather than an issue, but I thought I would have more choices? Especially because of the message at the beginning of Episode 1.

I will be re-reading though because my ending raised more questions than answers so it will bug me if I don’t find out :confounded:

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Thanks a lot. Well, I agree about the “rushed”. I also was in a hurry while writing the story and this rush influenced my work. My prevoius stories were much longer and in this one I decided to make no more than three episodes to put different endings. I’m not sure that transitions are necessary between all the scenes, but somewhere, maybe, it’s really worth adding them. “You’ve made me blush” my bad… I also noticed… and it’s worth fixing also. What about the conversations, I always suffer of lack of animations to express the emotions behind the dialog.

But your review is really valuable, as you payed attention to some things I didn’t notice myself. It’s nice job, thanks again :grinning:

CHECK MY STORY OUT!!!

EPISODE 17 : SEASON FINALE PART 1 IS OUT NOW!
YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!!!
Author: Aurora Trentino (my pen name)
Story: Domestic Violence
Story Description: Susan is abused by her husband Victor, who holds the biggest secret over her head, will she be able to escape him and will she fall in love again? FIND OUT NOW!
Episodes 1-17 (ongoing)
Genre: Action

If you like mystery, probably, you will like my story “Love or Desire”. I was working on it, but got distracted with the contest. It’s definitely less rushed :grinning:. And I hope to finish the script soon, as the story is complete in the draft.
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hello, my name is Marine,I do not know where to start…
my story is just a “first try”, I start slowly, and hardly …
I want to increase the pressure step by step, I really need some constructive advice to continue …
thank you very much

(R4R)

Well, I’ll check your story, once I get time for this (in a few days). And it would be a bit more convenient if you mentioned also the name of your story and not only the share link :slight_smile: I’d appreciate if you read “H & V: Fake Friend” (possibly, after March, 26 for your reads to be count). Deal?

Sounds great, I’ll put it in my favourites to read when I have the time :grin:

Thanks :slight_smile: I hope you will like it :slight_smile: And also I hope to finish it as soon as possible, because I’m convinced that it is worth being fully released.

Deal!! After march, 26! I’ll put it in my favorites too! Thx :blush:
Ps: my story :“the blood of love”

Those who haven’t read my story yet, it’s time to do this!
:grinning:


Hope while reading you will not face the problem, mentioned here.

And certainly you should check the story “H & V: Fate” by @Alex_Af. It’s definitely worth reading!
The link to the story is given below for your convenience:

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For three weeks this story has gained almost 150 reads. Someone can say, “Oh, so few!” But it’s my personal victory, because the happiness is not in reads, but in making other people happy. And I’m really glad that almost all people who read my story enjoyed it. And they were interested to read it to the end. And I’ll keep writing just because of you, guys, because you exist and your support means a lot! :slight_smile:

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And here we have an amazing proposal by @Alex_Af. Please, go and support it, it’s a really reasonable idea!

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Thank you SO MUCH! Guys, if you want to bring change, then, please, support my petition and let’s create some buzz!

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If I only knew that participance in the contest would bring that much emotions and debating… I’d probably entered it with twice higher enthusiasm! :slight_smile: Digging deeper into the exploration of judging system resulted in conclusion about the necessity of providing more transparent judging system with making rating tables available for all contestants. If you agree with the necessity to provide transparency, please, sign the petition, available here:

If you have any thoughts or comments on this, please, join the discussion in

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Hi everybody!
Recently I’ve updated the cover for “H & V: Fake Friend” and moved this story from Drama to Mystery section where it belonged according to opinions of many readers :slight_smile: . I’d love to hear more feedbacks on this story. And I’d love to read and review your stories :slight_smile: , which you can share in my other thread (A picky but fair reviewer is opened for requests!).