Still seeking reviews for a new Native-American fantasy!

TITLE: My Kalona
GENRE: Fantasy
CHAPTER STATS: 8 chapters published
DESCRIPTION: While 17 yr old Naomi desperately tries to bond with her estranged father, she becomes the prisoner of a Native-American curse that threatens all. Help Naomi defeat the curse!

What do you like? What do you not like? Suggestions? Comments?

What I have learned from reviews so far!

  • My first chapter is not as exciting as it should be

I’m still trying to figure out how to resolve this issue without spoiling the story. I may not be able to, but I’m contemplating how.

  • My character may seem more personal to the reader if I used first person narration.

Excellent suggestion! I’m kicking myself for not doing this to begin with! It’s already close to nine chapters in and this kind of rehab would take a whole day… I’m debating when I’ll have the time, but I agree 100% with this suggestion.

  • A few punctuation errors!

Chapters 1-5 of noticed errors are fixed!

  • Cover is interesting, but a bit too cluttered/congested.

Fixed! Cover updated based on poll results within the community.

  • I wish I knew more about the MC’s backstory.

This is one of those stories where the characters backstory is revealed throughout the entire story… I’m not sure how I can change this, as it may spoil everything… thinking.

  • Speechbubbles in beginning chapters, for a short time, in wrong position


  • Unique & Interesting plot!

Thank you!!

… More reviews & suggestions incoming!

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I will review your story

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Thank you! I would really appreciate that!

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Still seeking more reviews.

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bump (24 hours)

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