Lol Love Life basically 
2 Likes
Love Life
1 Like
I just realized now it is absolute garbage.
Fetishising and glamourising pregnancy. Acting like it is a game rather than a special and important event in a womanās life - also the lack of mention of safety and being careful too is just a bit much
6 Likes
Well, she was kinda working there for 2 days 
1 Like
The Pregnancy Game. 
1 Like
Was it really two days? Cause it felt like 2 hours.
1 Like
Everything happens so quickly and without any warning! And then they rely on exposition dumps to fix their flawed narrative. Instead of building things up and slowly introducing the audience to a failing magazine, itās just gone before we even know it was a bloody magazine!
The thing is, you donāt even need to take long to establish that kinda thing. Its about how you do it
6 Likes
1 Like
It doesnāt even matter how long she was working there. Itās more about how the narrative is set up by the writer for the audienceās behalf, if you know what I mean.
She could have just started there, but we had no understanding of the rivalry between the heads of companies until the MOMENT it was shut down. It needed to be established better
3 Likes
My number one on the stories hate list are stories where MC falls in love with LI like in first 5 minutesā¦ Like I wanna ask authorā¦ Have you been outside ever, like socializing or smthg. IT DOESNāT HAPPEN. First thing it is unrealistic, and second, that it kinda makes everything uninteresting. You already in love, whatās the point of relationship developing? As a bonus - no girl will drool over naked torso like a freaking cat in heat. Or she willā¦ If she has like half of the brainā¦ Drooling turns me off instantly.
7 Likes
I was so confused at some episodes. Like, wtf happened to Austin at some point? He was gone then came back. We barely had time with him. then our boss completely disappeared.
2 Likes
The best stories are ones where we understand why something happened or see it unfolding, even if it happens quickly. Otherwise you get clunky dialogue with exposition dumps afterwards because they didnāt establish things properly. I donāt mean to promote my story too much but Iām gonna use it as an example for this:
My first attempt had flaws in the narrative. Iād established why the princess might want to escape, though, so people werenāt too jarred by it.
To make it even better, all I needed to do was add a single scene about how restrictive the Palace actually is and then people understood it better. I didnāt make her stay there longer. I just gave the audience some breathing space.
2 Likes
I never even considered him as LI. Like I spend with him literally 5 minutes. And that musician guy, donāt remember the name - couldnāt even write the text message and expected MC to be with him. There wasnāt really a choice between them, as I chose the most normal guy.
2 Likes
I choose Austin. I just wish we had more moments with him like how much we had with Liam andā¦āThat blonde dude o_o
Itās all about what scenes you put when. It creates a narrative that makes it easier to understand. The featured stories which fail to establish the stakes before they ruin something really fail. So overrated.
Likeā¦ why should the MC care if sheās only been working there for two days? All weād need is a little bit of dialogue BEFORE the scene where she talks about how this is her dream job and how excited she is because of how long sheās wanted it. Then, some stuff about how broke she is. Maybe a little article about the two bosses arguing. Done. Stakes and reason established and she didnt even need to work there for longer
2 Likes
And I hate the excessive gem choices! 
1 Like
I have question in regards with my story. I have a character, black girl. As a prototype for her I choose Tara from True Blood I really liked her. If someone here watched these series. Do you consider her personality as realistic?
1 Like
GEM CHOICES in featured stories are overrated. They use them terribly and it just makes me stop reading. They lose readers. Silly them
5 Likes
I think the main question is: do you think she acts realistically for a human being? Black people donāt act differently from white people, all in all. It more matters where you grew up not what the colour of your skin is
2 Likes