STOrY FINALLY RELEASED

Hello! After so long of coding and procrastinating, I’ve finally published my story. I am doing r4rs and would love some feedback if it is not minded. My story is called “Insecure” and the author is Laniyah G.

People who asked to read (a long time ago). More will be added as I remember.
@AuthorMDWrites
@MisteeWrites

Thanks, everyone :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

3 Likes

r4r?

Story Name: Blades of Desire

Author: Giselle C.

Genre: Mystery/Horror/Drama/Romance

Description: He loves you, he wants you, & he must have you. He will stop at nothing to make sure you’re his, even if it means killing anyone who comes in his way. But, do you love him?

Features: Advanced directing, non-cliche plot line, choices matter, FULL character customization, unique and big closet, POC and LGBTQ characters, LGBTQ option, mini games.

Episodes: 5

Covers:

Blades_of_Desire_posterThumb_J1kh4mLA0x

Blades_of_Desire_posterImage_heaCSCtYK6

Link:

would you like to do a read for read?

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy
Summary: Time is running out as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.
Chapters: 4 (More to come)
Style: Limelight

Create your own characters and Choices Matter!:blush:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6250660385652736
Shortened Link: https://bit.ly/2FHhOMS

Looks great! I would be willing to do a r4r with you if you’re interested :heart:
Story: Sorry, Wrong Number
Genre: Thriller
Summary: “And that’s how we’ll get rid of the body. Sorry, wrong number.”
When a text is sent to the wrong person, it leads to a race against time to prevent a murder. TEXT BASED
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5933958626344960

I just read the first chapter and I’m already addicted💕

Hi there! I would love to do a r4r. I will read you’re story after I’m back from school.
Here is my story:

Story: Trying
Autor: Sabrina Deveraux
Genre: Drama
Description: Being abused by her father isn’t stoping Elissabeth from going after her dream. Will you meet love on the way?
Episode: 3 (only episode 1 is out)

@gisellec @Marshmallow_O @lizzy.writes @PrincesTiger Sure thing! I have the stories in my favorites and, if you want, I’ll give feedback as I reach each one.

3 Likes

@Lauren.H Thank you sm! :heart:

Okay great! Would you mind sending me your story link? I’ll add it to my list as well :heart:

That would be awesome!! Thank you so much :hearts:

If you have a story that you want me to read please let me know. :blush:

hey! i just finished my half of our r4r and gave feedback like requested! this isn’t me being mean btw, it’s just my honest opinion and feedback on your story!! :grin::grin:
don’t forget to read my story if you haven’t already! :kissing_heart:

Episode 1
  • there are too many things happening at once in the beginning, i cant read the splash while the readermessages are going. you should either make the splash last longer or make the readermessages into a splash.
  • I like the use of the overlays! creative!
  • I thought he was about to say some racist shit about her skin color, I was about to sister snap his neck!!! :joy::joy:
  • lmao, what’s the guys name from the park? it got cut off so I couldn’t read it.
  • you should use music. honestly when I first started writing I didn’t either but it’s insane how many people will tell you to use music because they listen with the sound on.
  • they don’t talk when they have dialogue. make sure when you give characters speaking lines you give them talking animations like: talk_armscrossed_neutral_loop or something. but don’t make them talk on a non talking animation, like flirt_wink or something.
  • OH MY GOD HER UNCLE IS A FUCKING CREEP!! WHAT THE HELL? WHO DOES THAT!!?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHH!! NOOOOOOO
  • the MC is really pretty, nice job lmao
  • once again, in your authors q & a there’s dialogue, but no talking animations.
  • i’m going to save you now by saying this… delete the q&a. I’ve seen soooooo many people say that they hate seeing authors introductions and q&a’s at the end. I used to have an author introduction and q&a but then I was told that no one likes them, so i should get rid of it… so I did. :joy::rofl:
    authors introductions: they take away from the “im watching a movie feel of the story” so a lot of people say just don’t add it because readers don’t want to see it.
    authors q&a in the story: I read that if your audience wants to ask you a question, then they’ll ask you in the fanmail and you can answer there instead of in the story. the only exception is if you continuously get asked the same question over and over again and you want to make a clear statement in your story.

so I say just get rid of the whole segment entirely, however, that’s just my suggestion

  • make Amber’s skin condition something known in the story. encorperate that as part of the dialogue somewhere. you don’t have to do this exactly, but as an example: when she’s complaining about her condition don’t say “why doesn’t he care about my skin?” you could instead say “why doesn’t he care that I have eczema?” so that it’s made known in the actual story and not the q&a.
Episode 2
  • add the sound effect sis :joy:
  • don’t tell us that the scene is weak, cause then we won’t have faith in your directing ability, if you think it’s bad then we’ll think it’s bad, so do your best to make it better in your opinion before you publish it! :grin:
  • lmao I love the outfit option names and then option titles that follow! :joy:
  • EW! HER UNCLE! NO! WHY IS HE STILL HERE!! BE GONE THOT
  • “WiThOuT pErMiSSiOn” headass.
  • god I hate her uncle.
  • my phone just died!!! i’m pissed! I was actually enjoying this story! (kinda irrelevant but I feel like i’m basically narrating what i’m doing, so I had to make it known. :sunglasses:)

  • okayyyyyyy it’s back onnnn :rofl:

  • okay, so, after a character gets done talking they make this crazy face and stay there because they have no animation afterwards. so after a character speaks make sure you put a &CHARACTER is idle_happy_loop command! this is the same thing for looped talking animations, because without this command they’ll keep talking.
  • use the ‘&’ command more often, it’ll help the story flow better.
Episode 3
  • woah, why was episode 3 like 2 lines long? add some more content sis :joy::joy:
Overall

i genuinely think that this is a good story! I love the plot a lottttttt! i like that you’re taking a turn on regular stories and incorporating a skin condition! it’s very cool and unique! I haven’t seen anything like it! also, i’m very interested to see where amber’s relationship with the girl from the mall goes! i feel like that could either be cute or se could be a good person to help her out of her shell! i’m excited! I think this is a really good story with a lot of potential! just make sure you try and incorporate what I told you about. and if you ever need help with anything directing or plot wise don’t be afraid to ask! i’ll help you for sure! i hope you know i’m not trying to insult you or be mean in any way, shape, or form, because i really do like this story and think it has great potential! i just want to see it at it’s best! this was all just my opinion and what i’ve learned the past few weeks that i’ve been using the forums! with that being said, don’t forget to read my story if you haven’t already, and i’d love to hear your feedback as well! Thanks for doing this r4r with me! :grin::grin::grin::sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

1 Like

Thank you sm! I appreciate the constructive criticism. :heart:
And his name is “irrelevant person who shall not be named” or something like that lol

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bahahahahha i love it! also could you let me know when you finish my story? that would be great! :grin::grin:

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Of course! I’m halfway done. I have a lot of stories to go through lol

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you’re goooooood! no rush! just lmk! :sparkling_heart::grin:

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Will do :heart: :smile:

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Great! Thank you!

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Your story is soo good!!! The uncle is a d””k though -_- I hope amber will feel better about herself later on :sleepy:

Hello Guys
Hope you don’t mind me Putting mine on here…
Genre: Horror
Chapters:28 chapter (COMPLETE)
Summary:
Brainwashed teenager Nicola has suffered from years of abuse at the hands of her mother will she be able to find a way out? Contains violence, self harm + CC choices matter