Story Reviews [CLOSED]


#1

Hey, I’m doing story reviews and I’ll tell you what you can improve on, things good about the story and any directing issues! If you want to improve make sure to message me the story and I will message you back with what I think you can improve on etc.


#2

Moved to Share Feedback since it’s about reviews. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about where to correctly create topics. :wink:


#3

I would love to!

Genre: Adventure/Fantasy/Comedy (If that makes sense)
Title: Save Me, Hero!
Author: Turtle Cat!
Plot/Summary: After powerless Hero moves from a town where everyone has superpowers, she gets kidnapped by a group of refugees who are forcing her to join them. What will she do?
Style: Ink
I published this a few days ago, so it only has 3 episodes.
Cover:

HERE’S THE LINK!
Be as hard as you can, please.


#4

Alright I’ll message you back soon~~ think of this as a thank you for doing the covers!


#5

I would love a review !
Thank you so much !

Title : Music in our hearts
Author : Mary-P
Genre : Fantasy
Description :
You’re a straight A student with a passion for art but don’t have any talent. When a mysterious voice leads you to 3 Muses of the Mythology, magic offers you a new perspective
Link :


#6

Yes, I would love a review!

Summary

Story Name: The Ice Skating Dream
Author Name: JemU776
Story Summary: When you get accepted to Ice Skating Academy, will you do what it takes to be a star and balance your crazy life? (*CC).

Thank you for this and OMG this is the first review that I have ever requested :laughing:


#7

Thanks for doing this!

Here’s mine:
Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Author: Dreamer
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Description: Scarlet had a rough past and it looks like it’s not getting better after she was bought by some mysterious guy. Will she ever turn her life from a nightmare to a dream?
Episodes: 8 (more coming soon, I’m trying to update once a week)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452320906543104


#8

Hey I would like a review:)
Title: Trouble In Princess Paradise
Author: Rosina Valeriant
Instagram: @rosina.episode
Episodes:8
Description:How will Rose save the 4 kingdoms after things begin to fall apart after the Solar Eclipse?
Corruption,secrecy,drama, & the cherry on top: romance.
CC & choices
Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5578521367412736


#9

I would love a review :slightly_smiling_face:

Title: A Wish Come True
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 3(ongoing)
Genre: Drama, romance
Description: Everything that Layla wishes for comes true, but she’s not the only one who’s experienced this. Will it become more than she can handle?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4534142956863488
Cover:
image


#10

I’ll do it now.


#11

I can have it ready in half an hour to an hour, since my last one was this long:
Story Review:
Ok so, you told me to be hard! So, I will try my best, I found one little “Confusing” bit so far, and that was the first scene. Where he says something along the lines of: sir me … and you should use capitals and make it more clean. Example; Sir, me!?

And the place were in the montage of the city, they’re on a bride with lockets on the fences, people start popping up, and to fix that put all the places on one line using;

Example;
&TURTLE stands screen center AND TURTLE faces left AND GIGI spot 5.040 -65 143 AND GIGI faces right

Or something like that with all the characters separating them by AND.

Also, another thing is there isn’t much zoom, which would be ideal to make more things go on at the same time if that makes any sense?

Though that is very good.
Another thing I recommend is what not a lot of authors do, is every-time someone does a talking animation the person clicks onto the next bubble, but they continue talking, so I recommend after the bubble you should do a pose.

Example:

TURTLE (talk_neutral)
I’m so happy right now!

@TURTLE starts arms_crossed

Just so it doesn’t continue talking, and it improves the story quality. And another issue was when she was driving is was a few second before the characters appeared. And maybe make the characters bigger, and it also happens on the next scene for the car drive. And you need to go over the speech and use more punctuation, and also, when they’re at the new house and the dad says “Hero, you on’t know that”

You forgot the d on don’t.

And another issue with this scene is when they walk off-screen into the home, when the dad exits it’s still in zoom. And just a suggestion, when Hero is in her bedroom, when her dad calls her, she walks so I suggest she runs. Just for a bit of a change. And use the fade filter for the bit where she’s in bed at night and use;

@transition fade out white 4
Just so it looks a bit cleaner.

And instead of standing on her bed when she wakes, do her standing up on the floor. And one more thing about this scene, when her dad calls her use the narrator bubble:

NARRATOR (Dad)
|bold| Honey, wake up!

And some more effects, like the colour red and shake animation.
And I found one kinda big issue, where she is off-screen (After she comes out of the shower) for a while and it made me think if it was paused. So you might want to only do it for 2 beats.

And you can use my mirror overlay to add a reflection! Find it on my; Overlay & Background Sharing Thread on my profile.

And the last thing is on the end screen it says
“Any questions, concerns or comments may be said in Q&A”

I want to point out its not in the right place, you might need to reset zoom on place the speech bubble, and when it says “Any questions, concerns or comments may be said in Q&A” you missed the my in-between may be said in Q&A it should be, be said in my Q&A.

I hope you find this useful in some shape or form.


#12

Title: Kotton Kandie
Kandie’s finally free from an abusive marriage. Now it’s time for her to start anew - with a stalkerish ex-husband on her tail. Her navigate through life. Choices matter.

episodeinteractive.com 1


#13