Teach Me Your Love (story review)

Hey guys so i published my new story on the episode app
story title : Teach Me Your Love!
I need someone to read it and tell me their opinion on it.

i posted the first five chapters I promise I update fast!


You can come over to this thread where Jade makes some good reviews that help authors improve their stories.

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Teach Me Your Love By Perry

Runtime: 7:46

Overall, your story has a lot of potential. It is quite fast paced, which doesn’t allow the reader to develop a relationship with the characters. This is shown where Damon goes from immediately disliking Jane, to flirting with her. You use music well. However, I find the amount of grammatical errors and directing errors distracting. This includes missing punctuation, lack of capitalisation and bad speechbubble placement.


  • Uses Music
  • Point System


  • Narrating
  • Fast paced plot
  • Grammatical inconsistencies
  • Unnecessary spaces between commas and text
  • Missing punctuation
  • Not capitalising pronouns or the first word in a sentence.
  • Incorrect speechbubble tail
  • Bad Speechbubble placement

In my opinion, Teach me your love isn’t grammatically correct.

You’ve capitalised each word here [on the forum]; however, you haven’t on the app. It looks better capitalised.


Capitalise pronouns and the first letter of the first word in the sentence.

To save space, you can use CC instead of customizable, but that’s your preference.

  • Capitalise Jane
  • How does Jane look? OR What does Jane look like
  • Customize
  • She looks perfect!
  • Capitalise Damon & Make
  • Customize

The splash is incredibly short.

Episode 1 Unlucky Day
  • The title would look better capitalised.
  • You should add a : or - between 1 and Unlucky.
Jane's Room
  • You added the prop too early. Jane’s walking with the book going through her hand.
  • Add puncutation
  • Capitalise: I’m, Toronto, I’ll
  • Speechbubble placement & Tails
Damon's home


  • Scene appears, then transition happens. Use & prior to transition.

Living Room

  • Won’t
  • Nothing
  • Let me show you your new room honey.
  • Capitalise It
  • You’ve use transition in instead of out


  • Why doesn’t Damon take you on a ride and show you around town.
  • Missing punctuation
  • Grammatical Inconsistencies

The rest of the scenes include the same mistakes that I’ve already stated, so I won’t state them again.

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Thanks for the advice about capitalizing and narrating
i fixed the speech bubbles in the episodes that are after episode 1 and there is actually a reason for damon’s confusing behavior that all readers will find out in episode 6

Gotcha, I should have clarified that I’d only read episode 1.

I’m glad to hear that. And thank you for taking my feedback onboard. I know it may come across as blunt. I look forward to rereading it sometime.

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Thanks ,Your review is really helpful now i can improve my writing

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