Go read teeny undercover 3 if you read 2episodes or more I will read your whole story and if you don’t have any stories I will give you a shout out
Hi, saw your post and gave your story a bit of a read! Here’s some constructive criticism that I would like to give you : D
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 1-4
1: The grammar. Okay so, the first thing I notice is the grammar, or rather, lack of. It actually really turned me off as soon as I saw it, and it was really hard to understand.
2. The language. There’s WAYYYY too much inappropriate language in here, especially for a place like EPISODE. (btw it’s 13+ here.)
3. Relationships. One second Teeny and Anna are fighting the next they love each other and- I don’t even know. If it’s suppose to start off as a rival and then as a romantic interest, you haven’t done a good job.
4. Characters. These characters are seriously so shallow, I don’t care if one of them dies. And that’s bad, especially for your main character. You have to make them likeable and relatable as you can to the player.
5. The pacing. So, one of the main problems in this story is the pacing, everything’s going too fast. Try to space out the action and the story, and not finish off chapters with a half chapter? That’s what really annoyed me, it makes you feel like you’ve wasted tickets.
WAYS TO IMPROVE:
- Try to write on a computer. I found that writing on a computer is a lot better than writing on a phone, there’s less of an urge to write lazily/textian (the language that you speak whenever you’re on your phone).
- Try to tone down the language a bit, EPISODE has new guidelines about swearing that’s incredibly STRICT. And this is a place for 13+, not 15-18+
- Try to expand on the relationships between the characters, because right now, it’s confusing as heck. Do I hate her or love her? Why do I love her? I need answers! I need a story!
- Try to expand your characters like the relationships. Add more detail, make me fall in love with them! Make me feel sad if one of them died, or feel happy if the bad guy is defeated.
- Try to expand a bit, like everything else, just expand, drag your story out for as long as it needs to.
I personally am not a fan of this book, but it just needs improvement done to it! Anything can be amazing if you just keep working on it! Practice makes perfect!
Hi! You may want to share a link of your story to make it easier for people to find! Carry on!
Closing due to one month of inactivity