The Blog Thread ❤

Last year, I remember a few categories with one nominee or the same nomination over and over again- I try my best to encourage more nominees for those categories as time passes in order to be able to progress to voting and though we can’t get all of them, I really hope we can get most lol

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Alright, now that I’ve cleared out my notifications I’m gonna get some rest because I’ve been running on two hours of sleep and I’m dying.

cAM GO GET SOME SLEEP

I will ~

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be back soon forums- Airplane Hobo and Airplane Douche need to be written :’ )

~

@Lady-Mehek I don’t mean to be annoying but can you please check Skype when you can?

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I’m going to mini rant spam about something- I apologize to those who have to scroll through this, but you can skip this if you would like. I should post this in The Ranting Thread, but I want the freedom of just posting immediately what’s on my mind.

I’ve always been the type to check my grades everywhere- during the weekends, holidays, vacations, and more to make certain that I have all A’s. I logged into the gradebook a few hours ago, and I realized that in a few of my classes, I have C’s- specifically in Science.

I wanted to slam my head repeatedly against a wall when I saw that. I’m aware grades don’t determine self worth. However, when your whole life, honestly the only thing people compliment you about is how your grades are the best and how every teacher adores you because of this, and suddenly you find out that all the time and effort you’ve dedicated doesn’t matter anymore? That’s difficult for me to accept.

The next school year is going to be a major turning point for me. The results of something I’ve been unknowingly striving towards my whole life is being mailed out this April, and I’m nervous. If I don’t get into this, if I don’t make it… Everyone will be so disappointed in me. I will be the most bitter and resentful towards myself. That’s years and years of toil down the drain.

I have no one to blame but myself. It’s moments similar to these that makes me take a step back, see the whole picture. It’s moments like these that makes me despise the person I’ve become, makes me beat myself up over not studying more that day, not staying up at night to read through the textbooks one last time, spending my lunch time socializing when I could have gotten a head start in my homework, chattering with my friend during class.

I’d love to say that I live life with no regrets. To be completely honest, I’ve regretted most of the decisions I’ve made. I dislike the ‘why didn’t I…?’ of ‘if only…’ always in my mind. I want to be proud of the person I am, the individual I’ve become, but I can’t state that without knowing that it’s a lie. I’m not content with who I am, even as much as I try. I don’t think I ever was, and the few times I’ve persuaded myself to change, I’ve always fallen back into old routines. ‘Later, later, I’ll change later.’

I’ve afriad that I will never be self motivated again, that I’ll never find the voice in me wanting to be more than just mediocre, to realize I can accomplish more than I ever imagined, if only I try. Continuing being a burden who can’t become an advocate for herself or even complete one simple task to is not my intention.

I’m a mess with words, and I don’t think anything I’ve written now makes sense, but it did clear my mind and I think I know what leaps I need to take. Again, I’m sorry for spamming, and I might delete these posts later.

don’t feel bad or apologize for your feelings, once- they’re completely valid, and you shouldn’t have to feel sorry about just being human. I probably don’t have any useful advice to give, but just know that everyone here on the forums supports you. :slight_smile:

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For one, I think you’re making sense with what you’re saying, so it’s fine. Moreover, you don’t need to apologize for spamming about your feelings and troubles, especially if you really need to vent.

Life has its ups and downs. It’s a roller coaster where sometimes you feel like you’re on top of the world, and other times, you feel like you just fell down in a hole where nobody can help you. I’m not saying that you should just accept this fact, but I’m saying that there’s always hope- even if it seems bad right now, you can always try to mend your situation, sometimes without you even realizing it.

That goes to my second point. You can change yourself for the better. Even if you don’t see the change, it’s definitely there. I can argue that we’re all changing every single second, but that’s not the point here. I just want to say that… You’re you. Nothing can change that, and you’re the best you can be. If you don’t feel like it, then you can always look at yourself from a different perspective and observe yourself from there. You know you can change somehow, but do you know how to do it exactly? That’s the question you may be asking yourself if you want to improve on yourself, although you don’t have to do it all alone either. You have your friends and the forums to help you, and even if we may not be present at the moment, we’ll always be here to back you up.

About your grades, I can’t say I fully relate to you, as I may have a different experience with this, but I know the feeling of disappointment when you don’t live up to expectations. Again, you might need to focus on what and where you went wrong, but it’s also important not to beat yourself up. If you really tried your best, then that’s the important thing in this. I can’t really offer any more advice on this, but I really hope everything else goes well for you <3

I’m really sorry if this is terrible advice haha, but I do hope at least some of it can help you.

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somyheadandbodykindhurtssoi’lltrytoreplytoeverythingassoonasIcansorryguys

ilowkeysleptthroughoutthewholedaysOIneedtodoworkandfinishmysignupstoorip

take as long as you need we totally get it feel better soon

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Thaank you ~ I mean it’s not SO bad, it’s not a migrane sooo I’m trying to make up for the time I wasted today